Questions about Ferber method

livinirie84

Not looking for advice on whether or not I should use this method. Please don't flame.

We are on day 3 of Ferber method and it is working great for nighttime sleep. We also got our first successful Ferber nap for his first nap of the day today and a shorter one for his midday nap. However, yesterday and this afternoon he is super exhausted but doesn't fall asleep within the first 30 mins and Ferber says to stop trying and to keep them awake until their next nap time to try again. This doesn't seem to be working and because Ferber also says 'no naps after 4pm.' I don't see how I can make it to his 8pm bedtime if he doesn't have a long enough midday nap and no afternoon nap. So far yesterday and today he has been so exhausted by 'bedtime' that I've had to up his bedtime a bunch each time and he still falls asleep on the breast which is not how it's supposed to go. He's supposed to be awake when we put him down.

Any help/suggestions? Do I just give him his nap anyway I can after the failed nap attempt even though Ferber says not to?

Also, he now has a super hoarse cough. Is this from the crying? (even though it's never been longer than 30 mins?)

 

Thanks in advance.

CarlaAndJames

the good thing is, at least for us, we can do Ferber nights successfully without full-out following the Ferber nap plan. My daughter's in DC so I can't really enforce Ferber for naps, so as a result she naps for a total of 20 minutes total before I pick her up at 4 on a lot of days! I do put her down for a nap at 4, and she usually naps for 30 minutes to an hour. She still goes down for bed by 7 and sleeps until 5 without waking (thanks to Ferber a few months ago!) 

 

bluejetta

I used Ferber for naps for 2 weeks which helped with putting DD down drowsy/awake but didn't totally help with longer naps.  I found I needed to give her a full hour in the crib to fall asleep or back asleep.  It doesn't always result in a longer nap but it definitely helped.  I also try again within the next hour if the nap fails totally and if she's really overtired then my last resort is a car ride just to get some sleep in before bedtime.

I also just read The Sleep Easy solution which is helping me think about awake times and DD still takes a really short first nap so I am less confident in whether she needs more/less between morning wake and 1st nap but she does well with 2.5 hours between the other two naps. 

lbursey

We tried Ferber for naps but it just didn't work.  We gave in after 5 days and used the binky, rocked him to sleep (when he didn't fall asleep on his own) and putting him down after 4:00.  

Fortunately, it didn't affect his nighttime sleep at all.  I would continue Ferber for another couple of days and then 'tweak' the method according to your family. 

jmo866

I don't know about the hoarse cough, are you sure it's not a cold? If it is, maybe come back to it in a week or two. If you're sure it's not, then a few things I have thought about Ferber... Ferber seems to be in the minority of sleep experts who believe babies need less sleep, most others I have seen say "sleep begets sleep". And while I do think that toooo much napping is not good, there is nothing wrong with a 4pm cat nap at this age, every baby is different. I did Ferber for nighttime, and just recently for naps, and he takes a nap at 9 (1-1.5 hrs), 12:30 (1-1.5 hrs) and 4ish (30-40 mins), and still can sleep about 11 hrs at night, so he's at about 14 hrs a day total, which is average according to my other reading. My DS would never last to bedtime from like 2-3pm, even on a normal day, never mind after sleep training and his naps being less than stellar. Do what works for you, we were able to implement Ferber for naps in about a week or so, while maintaining our daily 4pm nap. Our worst Ferber nap day actually, DS cried for the 30 minutes, I was about to get him and he seemed to be settling, so we left him, he cried on and off for another 20 mins or so and fell asleep at 5pm for only 15 minutes. It wasn't great, but he needed it to get to bedtime without being such a mess.

I am not convinced of the Ferber 30 minute rule either, most other books I have read say 1 hour for naps as the limit, but use your discretion... maybe do 40 and if it seems to not be getting any better, then stop, but if it is improving, give it another 5 mins or so, but maybe not go over an hour? I know an hour is a long time, but hopefully it won't go that long, I myself didn't think the 30 mins was long enough, and found myself going in before the proper checks just to see if it would help. Good luck, stick with it and I am sure you will see more improvement in the coming week!

livinirie84

Thanks ladies for your responses. I am feeling a little better now. He has again gone down this morning with the Ferber method and has been out for an hour so far. Now as for the afternoon, I have decided if his next one is short or bad then the one after will happen whether or not I Ferberize or drive him around in the car. Whatever works. And I will aim to allow a catnap in the late afternoon as long as it is a Ferber nap. Hopefully our day goes better. Thanks again.

chellebellesoliman

I don't follow the Ferber nap rule as it doesn't seem to work for my daughter. But my main goal was always for her to STTN and since she does that I am happy with her naps the way that they are... I had the same problem as you but my husband and I decided not to force the issue because we didn't want our baby to start hating her crib. At least at night she's really tired but she's more aware of what we are doing if we force her to take a nap.