Annoyed and a little mad at mom

jerseyleo

My mom mentioned in conversation that she told her coworker about my m/c in October. I told her that she shouldn't have done that and she had the nerve to get angry. She said that she isn't made of stone and that her coworker saw her crying at work. I think she didn't need to tell her coworker any details. That's my private business. 

My mom and I are very close but I hate that she thinks she has the right to tell my business. Now as I'm typing I'm getting even more angry. Recently I was upset with her because each time I said that I love little boys and I would like to have a son she would shoot me down and say no we want a girl. She actually said you can have a girl first then a boy as if I have any control over that. I told my sister that it bothered me and I guess she spoke to my mom because she has stopped doing that. There are other things she does like insist on baby names.  

I love my mom and she has always always been there for me and supported me so I don't know if I should let these things go, talk to her about it, or just keep details of my life to myself. 

lovekatespade

It sucks you feel like you can't talk to your mom without her steamrolling into your business. 

My MIL and I have a great relationship, but she is very much like this.  I did not tell her about our TTTC until it became necessary, because I didn't think her cousins, SIL, and hairdresser needed to know.  Unfortunately I have found that the only way to keep her opinions out of our conversation is to not share with her about TTC.  So I keep the info to a minimum, and change the topic when it comes up.

I hope you are able to find some balance with her. 

nycitygirl1

So sorry you are having to deal with this. Do you think she'd be responsive if you had a nice conversation about how it makes you feel when she betrays your trust?

My mom is very similar and actually had the nerve to get mad at me when I found out I had cancer and asked her not to tell certain extended family members (who I never see and am not close with at ALL). She also blabbed to coworkers who I don't even know. *Sigh*

I now keep things private and just tell my BFFs and DH - my mom has no idea we're even trying let alone struggling with IF. 

Roxie5739

Sadly I too have this same issue with my Mum. I love her to death but when I said not to tell anyone, she told many people. Very disappointing. Now IF and IVF is just between DH and myself, no one knows. I rather deal with the ups and downs privately and not have to manage the news with family etc. I am sorry you are dealing with this.

sillygirlio

I know what I'm about to say will probably not be popular, but when you told your mom about your loss (I'm sorry, by the way) it became her business too.  Your m/c is a loss for her as well... she lost a grandbaby and she probably needs to talk about it as much as you do.  IMO you can't expect her to keep something like that in.  I know it doesn't seem fair, but it's true... if you don't want your mom to talk to people about private issues then you can't burden her with them. 

The other things she said were out of line though.  Obnoxious.  My mom does the same thing.