Disappointed with the 2nd Dr I've seen

acsago

I saw the other "VBAC friendly" doctor in town yesterday, and am pretty disappointed.  She said I could try, but nothing positive came out of her mouth the whole appointment, especially about VBAC.  She wasn't mean, but all she could talk about were the risks and that based on my history, I didn't have a very good chance.  (Baby was FTD with my water broken 23 hours at c-section time).  Both the doctor and nurse said as long as I didn't want it too bad, I would be ok, but that I shouldn't have my heart set on it basically.  They had obvious negative feelings about mothers insistent on the VBAC, commenting on one who wanted to go to 42 weeks and one who was in labor and being stubborn about getting the c-section.  The Dr got called out to deliver a baby in the middle of our discussion so that by the time she got back an hour later, we just had to rush through the rest of the routine OB appointment stuff and I didn't have time to continue our VBAC conversation.  I'm supposed to see the LPN next appointment.  Should I call back and request that I see the Dr again though to get more of a feeling for her?  I could still drive an hour and a half to a different Dr, but I want to avoid that if possible. 

My husband of course thinks I am over-reacting, but I asked him to come up with anything positve or encouraging she said, and he still hasn't been able to.

Squirrel29

I haven't had my VBAC yet so take my advice with a grain of salt...that said, she doesn't sound at all supportive and if I were you I would start seriously considering my other options.  For me, I couldn't be with a dr who was at all negative on the subject.  I need to believe that this will happen and if my dr wasn't on board I wouldn't have the confidence I know I'm going to need going into labor.  I was in a similar situation and although the super supportive doctor was only about a 45 to 50 minute drive for me it was still very hard for me to take that leap and go with him.  Once I made that decision though I felt like I had already achieved some sort of victory - just taking that bit of control over my birth has had a profound effect on both my healing from my previous experiences as well as my confidence going into this birth.

nosoup4u

Yeah, that does sound disheartening. I agree with everything that Squirrel29 said - having a truly supportive provider makes all the difference. I was never given a hard time by my MW about wanting a VBAC (my first son ended up as a c-section after 4+ hours of pushing bc he was OP - it was listed as FTD/FTP). I worried worried worried about having a VBAC my entire pregnancy, but it was very helpful knowing I had the full support of my MW the whole time.

Maybe go talk to the provider who's 1.5 hours away and see what they say, and go from there. Home birth might also be another option if you can't find anyone at all who practices out of a hospital. Good luck!

monksmama

Keep looking.

I know what a huge PITA it is to switch, but your provider should be your cheerleader. I don't think I would have done it if my OB wasn't the rock star that he was!

It is really hard as a VBAC'er. So many Drs say they are on board but still want all the C/S paperwork filled out and talk about nothing but the risks. I get the risks. I got them the first six times I heard them, but a VBAC is not this huge crazy risk you are taking with baby and yourself, it is a perfectly acceptable and encouraged birth option.

Obviously you have to be reasonable. A post dates, GD, breech VBAC is a very bad idea. You do have to be ready and willing to make the hard concession that at some point VBAC can stop being a good option. But as long as there is no medical reason you are a bad candidate your provider should help you achieve the best birth for you!

hopecounts

Have you contacted a Doula/ your closest ICan chapter for recommendations? Or talked to the hospital L&D for suggestions?

I agree that this provider is not going to support you and your going to get a lot of "well really we should consider a CSection, Look the baby is 'big', your 39 weeks 5 days, etc." and then when you go in labor "we need to break your water/place an internal monitor/IUPC, etc" "Oh you haven't progressed 1 cm in an hr, your water has been broken 12 hrs and your only at a 4"

Definitely check out the further away Dr. and any other recs you can get. If the Dr. was just saying "statistically FTD have lower success rates" I might could see it but it sounds like She was just humoring you about trying for a VBAC.

Saltina11

OSUx2

I will say that at my first appointment when I brought up VBAC my dr didn't seem very positive about it either and told me I was not a good candidate and put all sorts of restrictions on the terms.  During my second appointment it was brought up again and it was almost a completely different conversation.  We discussed the other drs in her practice too and what I needed to tell them if she wasn't there and the original "restrictions" were relaxed (originally she said I would not go past 40 weeks but then she said 41 weeks).  I will be signing my consent at my next appointment and we are all good to try. 

I think some may seem "negative" in that they are trying to be somewhat realistic and not wanting to get someones hopes up too high.