You better not be pregnant at your sister's wedding....

MeghanTTC1

Yep. This is what my mother said to me tonight. She said it in a tone like me looking fat in pictures and stealing my sister's thunder would ruin her entire f'ing day. 

My sister got engaged on VDay. We were casually talking about bridesmaids dresses today, and my mother dropped this bomb on me.

I got really defensive and told her my life does not revolve around my sister's wedding which is TWO YEARS AWAY.

I'm just floored she said this to me. My mom was crazy controlling over my wedding, so I guess I shouldn't expect anything less. It's completely ridiculous because my sister wouldn't even batt an eye if I was KU on her wedding day. She would be thrilled.

UGH! Sorry. It has been one of those days. I just had to vent.

Thank you  

mrsjollybrown

That was rude and mean. You should've told her just because she was fat in pics when she was pregnant does not mean you won't be a knock out in the pics you take. 

Too bad you cant really say that. What did you manage to say to her? In reality I would tell her you can't control when you get pregnant and neither can she. After all you can't not have sex with your husband....that will ruin your marriage. Just thoughts of thing to say to her. 

Intervention

You should tell your mom to butt out

tinamorgan

That sounds like something my mother would say!

peanutmuse

Wow. That is awful. I'm glad that you know that you have your sister's support.

Kate504

Wow! I was engaged for 2 years and my sister wasn't even thinking about having a baby but they got pregnant and the baby was due 4 days before my wedding. It was a BUSY time for me and my family (my mom was turning 50, I was graduating nursing school, the wedding, baby and holidays). My sister got induced to make sure she would make it to the wedding. She is my only sister and it was important to her that she be there. 

Her MIL watched her DD all night and she was even there while we were getting ready and for the reception. (she pumps her breast milk making it possible to leave her one week old baby)

I think your mom is crazy and out of line but that is just me. I was yes the bride that was like "all of the attention won't. be on me", but I got over it and in the end it didnt matter. Good luck! 

Laurakat81

I hope all the bridesmaids are KU on your sisters day just to see your moms reaction to that!

But seriously, I hope she chills out!

kelly321

A comment like that would really tick me off. If I were in a bad mood anyway, I would probably say something snide like, "Well don't worry, if I do get KU the 9 months before her wedding I guess I'll just get an abortion. Wouldn't want to ruin your big day." just so she would hopefully see how idiotic her comment was.

Penguin81

I'm all for all of this! +1

butterycupp12

Are you sure we aren't sisters? My mom and I just had a huge blowout over this yesterday. DH and are cycle #1 TTC our first and my sister is getting married in 4 mos.  I just told her to imagine how she'd feel if we have difficulty and all along she's telling us NOT to have a baby until its convenient for the rest of my family!!

KansasFarmMomma

That is so incredibly rude! I am sorry you have to go through all that. I was KU at my sisters wedding and I was worried about the same kind of thing but it turned out just fine.

kelly321

butterycupp12:

Are you sure we aren't sisters? My mom and I just had a huge blowout over this yesterday. DH and are cycle #1 TTC our first and my sister is getting married in 4 mos.  I just told her to imagine how she'd feel if we have difficulty and all along she's telling us NOT to have a baby until its convenient for the rest of my family!!

She's getting married in 4 months??!! Even if you were to get pregnant this second, you almost certainly wouldn't be showing at the time of the wedding. Or is she just upset that some of the spotlight would be on you or that you wouldn't be able to drink? How incredibly inconsiderate!

Reyka9

My MOH messaged me 5 months before my wedding, extremely nervous... she knew I was in a planning frenzy and, dare I say, slightly bridezilla-esque.  She told me she was pregnant.  I was SO happy for her and so excited!  I was worried that maybe this meant she wouldn't want to be in the wedding anymore, but of course she did and she was completely gorgeous and radiant on the day.  And looking back at the photos now, it makes me so happy to know my goddaughter was sort of in my wedding party, too

Your sister and your mother should be nothing but happy when you announce your pregnancy, whether it falls in line with the wedding or not.  Maybe they're worried that you'll steal a bit of the spotlight, but honestly brides need to get over the whole "((foot stomp)) IT'S MY DAY!!!" thing anyway.

rinascita

I'm sorry you are dealing with this...it sucks!

My husband and I have been TTC for a long time now and haven't been telling anyone.  My best friend's wedding that I am the MOH in is coming up in less than a month... at her bachelorette weekend last week she asked me when we wanted to start TTC, and I told her that we really want a LO soon (but didn't say when we would 'start' or started already 14 months ago).  She told me that I need to wait until after her wedding... so ridiculous!  My life does not revolve around her wedding, even if my calendar and wallet has for the past 4 months! 

[Deleted User]

Not the same as being in the wedding party, but one of my best firends did the reading at my wedding when she was 6 1/2 mo along. Now that her DD is here it is cool to look at the pictures and know she was there too! Your mom needs to get a grip.

Dew828

Wow - just wow!  And the wedding isn't even for another 2 years!  Mom needs to calm down a little, does she know that you've been trying?  My best friend from college was 5 months along at my wedding - and when she told me she was expecting, she was super nervous (I don't know why!).  I gave my girls a choice of a few dresses (all the same color, different styles), so she was super comfortable in what she had to wear with her baby belly.  Can't wait to tell her daughter  one day that she was "at" my bachelorette, and "in" my wedding!!  Good luck with mom and the planning process!

AshDahlia

I'm so sorry your mom said this to you... Very inconsiderate, and none of her business! I'm glad your sis is supportive, and I hope your mom comes around, whenever it happens for you. 

LiteraryFoodie

Wow! Are we long lost sisters? Your mom sounds exactly like mine.

And you are right, it is a PITA

mrskitton

Sucks because its your mom........I'm sorry.

happilyeverafterxo

Oh gosh That is awful! I am sorry you had to even deal with that. I wouldn't be putting TTC on hold for anything...especially a wedding that is two years away! Wow!

 

JellyTwoPointO

That was totally uncalled for.... I have thoughts in my head, but that's your mom, so I'll keep them to myself.  I'm SO sorry you had to hear that.  Just let it roll off your shoulders, screw her words, and do what's best for YOU. Like you said, your sister would be thrilled.  It's not your mom's wedding.  It's YOUR life.

choppinbroccoli22

That sounds like something my mom might say and then totally forget about and deny all knowledge of later.

I would try not to put any stock into it. If you were actually KU at that time, I bet she'd be whistling a different tune. It might just be something she said without thinking about. Maybe she was thinking, you better not be 9 months PG and have any sort of reason why you'd have to miss it. Or, you better not have your water break on the dance floor! Or, you better not be so ill that you're throwing up in the bathroom during the ceremony! She might not have meant to give you the impression that she wouldn't be happy for you.

Mrs.DeliaMarieP

I think you were right to respond in the way that you did, it is none of your mother's business, and even more so that your sister isn't the one that cares.  The only thing you might want to consider if the time comes (and hopefully you will already be pregnant long before then) is whether or not you would be due very near the due date, just because it would suck if you couldn't go at all.

But like you said, that's not even something to think about at this point in time.  Hope your mom comes to her senses.