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DH and I finally reached a compromise

crystalknppcrystalknpp member
in Pregnant after a Loss

DH really wanted to be Team Green and I really wanted to find out the baby's gender.  We've been discussing it alot recently and tonight we finally came to a compromise.  DH and I will find out the gender but it will be kept a total secret from everyone else until delivery so he still gets to come out into the waiting room and announce "ITS A BOY/GIRL" and have our family be all excited and happy.  There all super old fshioned and none of them want to know so I think this compromise works for everyone involved.  I also had to promise DH that with our next one we will be 100% team green.

Anyone else have this issue?  What decision did you make?

"Sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in your heart"

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I'm a mom to my 4 angel babies who were taken from us much to soon!
BFP#1 on 09/29/09 and EP discovered/Left Tube lost on 10/19/09 EDD 06/12/10
BFP# 2 on 03/21/2010 EDD 11/30/10 Natural M/C on 3/27/10
BFP# 3 on 02/14/2011 EDD 10/28/11 Missed M/C discovered 4/19/11 and D&C 4/21/11 On 5/6/11 we found out our Oct Angel was a beautiful little girl <3
IVF#1=BFP#4 on 8/31/11 EDD 5/12/12 EP discovered and MTX shot given 9/14/ & 9/21 M/C on 10/9/11
IVF#2 and Stims started 12/2 ER 12/16 ET 12/21 transferred two beautiful blastocysts. Please stick LO's! BFP 12/26
Benjamin Matthew Our Little Miracle Born 9/5/2012!
BFP 1/2/14 EDD 9/11/14

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Re: DH and I finally reached a compromise

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    amberlynnr7amberlynnr7 member

    I'm glad that you guys could come to a compromise. It sounds like a great idea.

    We never had this issue because we really wanted to know, but I told DH if the next one is a boy (this LO is a girl), we will not find out with the third since we will be prepared either way (not to say team green-ers aren't prepared by any means!) & I just feel like it'd be super exciting!  

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    tarrrrragtarrrrrag
    Fortunately, DH and I both really want to know.  I'm glad that you were able to come to this agreement! 
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    Nikki1219Nikki1219 member

    I think that would kill me!  I would be buying pink or blue or I'd slip up and say something.  It's a good compromise but I know myself and I couldn't keep the secret.  Plus my family would hound me to no end.

    Good luck!  You are a better woman than me for being able to keep your lips sealed! 

    BFP 6/20/10 1st M/C- 7/3/10~ 6 w 1 d
    BFP 9/13/10- Chemical Pregnancy discovered 9/16/10
    BFP 2/23/11 EDD 2nd M/C 3/20/10~ 7 w 6 d
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    GuppyAmyGuppyAmy member
    DH could have gone either way and I didn't want to know. So, we've been team green and we'll find out next Thursday. Super excited.
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    charmedgrl517charmedgrl517 member

    I'm glad you came up with a compromise! 

    Yes we had to compromise too. I don't want to know and he does so our compromise is that we don't find out this time but we want to have one more so we will find out next time :) 

    TTC since 7/10, BFP#1~6/28/11(4wks2d)~EDD 3/4/12, missed m/c(8wks)~8/12/11, D&C~8/16/11
    BFP#2~12/15/11~EDD 8/25/12, Hannah born 8/22/12~ 7lbs 10oz & 21 in. long. :)

    BFP#3~1/12/14~EDD 9/23/14, Found out baby is a girl!~4/18/14 :)

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    msc233msc233 member
    DH wants to be team green and I don't... we are finding out for this one but agreed to be surprised for the next.  We also registered completely gender neutral so we will be prepared either way.

    TTC since 05/10

    Dx: PCOS,Hypothyroidism, Endometriosis, elevated prolactin

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    RE Consult 06/02/11, Sonohystogram - clear, DH SA - great! HSG all Clear.

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    HBayliesHBaylies member
    Sounds like a great compromise!  We both want to know every time, so it's not an issue for us.  We do keep our name a secrey from people IRL though, so that's the surprise we get to reveal on baby's birthday.  :)
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    ~Started TTC 2/09. BFP #1 11/09. EDD 8/7/10. DS born 8/7/10.~
    ~Surprise BFP #2 5/11 while still BF'ing. Natural M/C @ 7w3d.~
    ~BFP #3 8/11. EDD 4/24/12. Heavy bleeding episodes from a lost twin. DD born 4/14/12.~
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    csquared426csquared426 member

    I love that idea.

    DH is steadfast on Team Green; I would love to know, but we compromised too, we won't find out with this one, but will with the next.

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    * PG #1 2/26/09: mm/c 4/14/09 at 10w4d | PG #2 8/5/09: mm/c 9/29/09 at 11w3d (boy) * 
    * CP's 4/14/10, 9/1/10, 4/19/11, 5/24/11, 10/14/13, 11/16/13 *
    * Ectopic 1/17/14 - nothing on u/s at 6w4d * 
    * PG #7 BFP 12/21/11 - DD born 8/31/12 * 
    * DH Dx'd with balanced translocation in 2011 *


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    crystalknppcrystalknpp member
    imagecsquared426:

    I love that idea.

    DH is steadfast on Team Green; I would love to know, but we compromised too, we won't find out with this one, but will with the next.

    Thanks hun.  I like the idea of the gender and the name being Dh's and my little secret.  We both get to bond with the baby and start calling him or her by their name before anyone else.  So it still makes it special and I'm excited!  I totally understand your side of things though.  Since were finding out the gender this time for the next we will be Team Green!

    "Sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in your heart"

    Our TTC Journey

    BabyFetus Ticker

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    I'm a mom to my 4 angel babies who were taken from us much to soon!
    BFP#1 on 09/29/09 and EP discovered/Left Tube lost on 10/19/09 EDD 06/12/10
    BFP# 2 on 03/21/2010 EDD 11/30/10 Natural M/C on 3/27/10
    BFP# 3 on 02/14/2011 EDD 10/28/11 Missed M/C discovered 4/19/11 and D&C 4/21/11 On 5/6/11 we found out our Oct Angel was a beautiful little girl <3
    IVF#1=BFP#4 on 8/31/11 EDD 5/12/12 EP discovered and MTX shot given 9/14/ & 9/21 M/C on 10/9/11
    IVF#2 and Stims started 12/2 ER 12/16 ET 12/21 transferred two beautiful blastocysts. Please stick LO's! BFP 12/26
    Benjamin Matthew Our Little Miracle Born 9/5/2012!
    BFP 1/2/14 EDD 9/11/14

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    laoch101laoch101
    Team Green! So many few surprises in life. I left it up to my SO and he wanted to be surprised. I like making my family squirm too, lol. I'm not a big fan of all pink anyway, I like color! 
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