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Austin Babies
New AAP stance on breastfeeding
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Re: New AAP stance on breastfeeding
This kind of comment does burn me a bit. It's paternalistic ("Oh poor parents who just don't know any better. Don't worry, I, the educated, well informed, person who HAS done her research will tell you that you are wrong. It's for your baby's health. And you do want to do what's best for your baby's health, don't you!?! ") It smacks of condescension.
I know this was not even remotely your intent, but this is a very common message from the breast feeding community.
I love "Breast is Normal." I've never heard that before.
Word.
What if someone has done her research and still thinks that FF is just as good? My pedi thinks BF'ing is great and always praised me for doing it, but she also said that, with her twins, one got formula and one got BM, and they are equally wonderful, so not to sweat it if I couldn't or didn't want to. So, I don't think it's all that odd for someone to think that FF is just as good as BM. And, in the case of a mother who has decided that she doesn't want to BF, it's better for the whole family if she doesn't suffer from guilt for her decision.
Oh, FFS. That horse I was talking about? You're on it. Way up on it.
I sure hope you SAH with your kids, because *I* know working moms just aren't as good. I hope you RF your kid until she's 4, because *I* know forward facing any sooner is tragic. You better have taken the same prenatal vitamin I did and do, because *I* know that's the only one that's good! Poor, uninformed you for making a different choice!
(read it. you know you want to.)
anderson . september 2008
vivian . february 2010
mabel . august 2012
Doctors make health recommendations all the time, it's their job. The vast majority of the scientific community is in agreement that in the absence of an external factor, breastfeeding is better than formula feeding for the health of mom and baby. It's perfectly sensible for a doctor to inform their patient of the differences and leave it at that.
I'm not saying they should attempt to make FF'ing mothers feel guilty, or that there aren't myriad valid reasons why someone would choose to formula feed.
This is what I was thinking as I read the article. I really think society needs to be accepting of both choices and I like the article because it helps support a mother's choice to breastfeed.
However, the last sentence about it not being beneficial after a year annoyed me because I have gotten a ton of flack for continuing to nurse DD past one year - from several different medical professionals as well as random people (and family members).
I also agree with the pp's point about the mental health of the mother needing to be taken into account!
Ugh, here we go again. You love to get into this battle. I'm not on a high horse, I formula fed my daughter. I make plenty of bad decisions, but I do my best.
Most doctors agree that, in the absence of any other contributing factor, breastmilk is better for the baby than formula. I want them to state that fact and leave it at that.
It really IS okay for some people to think breastfeeding is better than formula feeding. It really is. This subject is really not worth getting so worked up about because everyone is going to think that the choices they make for their kids the right one. And they are.
i like the "breast is normal" message too. when i look at how other countries and cultures raise children and breastfeeding is overwhelmingly the norm for feeding babies, i wonder what happened here in the states? i'm looking at a chart on kellymom that shows only 57% of US moms start breastfeeding. that's a pretty small number for something that's normal.
i'm going to throw out a half-thought-out analogy here.
breastmilk is organic milk (i think we can all agree on that) and formula is non-organic borden's. we know that organic is healthier because it's straight from the source, has all the natural good stuff built in and hasn't been engineered in any way, but that's not to say that non-organic borden's milk is bad. if you can handle the cost (emotional and physical cost) of organic, why not? if getting organic isn't worth the cost, then borden's is still good for you. no one is or should be judging you at the checkout when you buy either organic or regular. but maybe the AAP is trying to get more organic milk on the shelves so that it's the normal product rather than a special, more expensive one.
i'm too wiped to even go back and edit so hopefully this makes sense and gets my point across.
Your statement implies that by choosing to formula feed you have made a bad decision.
Here's the thing. It's not what you're saying. It's the implication that your words have. For mlf and other mothers who chose to FF over BF, this kind of attitude is condescending. It's paternalistic.
Right, duh. And it also really IS okay to state your preference for one type of thing over another type of thing without making it seem like the other type of thing is only for people who don't know better or are somehow mistaken. Which is a point that seems to be lost on the poster in question, who posts similarly inflammatory comments each and every time this argument arises on the board. Which gets old.
(read it. you know you want to.)
anderson . september 2008
vivian . february 2010
mabel . august 2012
I think it's interesting that both sides (BF and FF) feel that they've been judged for their decisions. Sleep training, vaccinations, newborn eating, finger foods, tv - It seems there's nothing that trumps motherhood when it comes to being judged.
If all this does is raise public awareness that BFing is an acceptable practice, then fantastic. There were many times where my choice to BF made me feel embarrassed, whether it be when I was asked why I was taking so long in a dressing room, or started at in public while doing it, or reprimanded for going to meetings late (when they were scheduled during my known pumping times), or when I had to demand a better place to pump than the AV closet that had no ventilation, or when I was walked in on 7 different times while pumping (regardless of the sign and locked door).
::::puts on flame retardant suit::::
And it fuccking is!! I breastfed Molly for 6 months. I also formula fed her. I resented feeling like I had to be tied to my baby. I couldn't be within 2 or 3 hours of her because I was her only food source. Formula gave me freedom!
I resent the hell out of the expectation that mothers are supposed to sacrifice their wants and needs for that of their children. Well guess what? Not this mama. I come first. Always. Every time. If I can't take care of my needs, I have nothing left to give my children. I balance that with what they need. My children do not go without care, love, food, shelter, encouragement...a mother.
But breastfeeding was such an imposition to me. How dare this little creature demand to be fed from my breasts 24/7?! Well, she took a bottle just fine and I left her in the loving arms of my husband who fed her with all the tenderness of a nursing mother. She is bonded to me like she's covered in Gorilla Glue and she's healthy and well.
But damn! If not for formula, I think my mental state would have reached a crisis point. I know I'm not the only one out there in Internets World who feels this way, but I might be one of the few willing to say it.
Boy, I like you.
Also, if I hadn't borrowed my sister's pump, I definitely would have taken my husband's sledge hammer and gone "Office Space" on that GDeffing thing. THAT gave me my anger issues. I HATED that effing thing. Spencer had TT and could not/would not nurse, so I *had* to pump. But always supplementing w/ formula. It made me a maniac. And I know it was not PPD. It was that damn pump!
I think I've talked about ff vs bf once before. That's hardly every.single.time.
You're f'ing right, if the one and only reason that you choose to formula feed is because you think it's just as good as breastmilk in every possible way, I do think you either don't know better or are mistaken.
My entire point, stated for I think the 4th time now, is that I'd like -somebody- in the medical community to tell a new mom at some point that if breastfeeding works out for them it's going to do both mom and nursling some good.
I don't understand why you continue to react like I'm attacking you. You don't seem ignorant, so I'm guessing that you thought through your decision and chose to do what would work best for your family. I just want people to have some amount of information at their disposal when they make that decision.
You're not alone.
::catcalls cheers and whistles::
I've tried so many times to say exactly that but it always comes out like I'm insulting the women who do suffer though breastfeeding. Well said.
You're not alone in thought or willing to say it!
I totally agree, and was SO effing frustrated when DS wouldn't take a bottle. That's my only hangup with bfing, and next time (hopefully) baby #2 is getting a bottle every.damn.day so help me GOD because I WANT TO GO ON A DATE WITH MY HUSBAND WITHOUT WORRYING IF I'M GOING TO GET BACK ON TIME.
I suffered through nursing - mentally, emotionally and physically. But, I did it because I believe in the scientific data that has found it to be best - yes, I said best, because that's what science has found. For me, the "cost" was worth the outcome. My DH was allergic to everything as a child and I wanted to do everything *I* could do to avoid that and we were fortunate in that regard. My kids are never sick, to the point that I've worried (and been afraid to post about it because everyone around here is always suffering through sickness) that they are not building any antibodies because they never have a chance to fight anything off (honestly, I don't even know if that's how it works, obviously). I have seen enough proof in my own children to continue trying to BF exclusively with #3. I hope we will be successful, but only time will tell.
All that being said, it is HARD. And, even though I'm very much pro-BF (and really, pro-whatever parents want to do for their own family) there is a billboard on 183 that really pisses me off right now. Something like "Keep working, keep breastfeeding." I feel like a man wrote it because only someone that didn't know how HARD all of that really was, would have put it on a billboard. It's like they are telling us to keep up all of our outside duties, keep all of our professional duties and oh yeah, be chained to a baby or pump 24/7. I did all of that, but it still pissed me off seeing a billboard "instructing" me to do that. I feel like saying "eff you" every time I pass that monstrosity. I know that probably not the intent of the campaign, but that's how I take it.
I've seen that billboard and thought to come here and post about, but figured it would result in yet another shiitstorm like it always does!
who sponsored that billboard?
I don't even know. It's probably supposed to be supportive like "You can do it all. You CAN be Wonderwoman!" But, I read, "Hey women, you girls go ahead and do it all, while men just work and sit on their asses and don't aid in raising children or household duties."
I'm highly hormonal right now. I should also add that I am not upset with my DH at all and he is a very involved Dad. So, in that regard, I don't know why I read all of this into the billboard. I plead temporary insanity due to pg hormones.
I love this, especially the bolded. Breastfeeding is hands down THE HARDEST thing I have ever done in my life. Saying it is hard is an understatement. There were many times in those first 8 weeks that DH would come home for lunch and DS and I would both be crying while I was trying to BF him. And the pump, my god the pump. I strap that thing on 3 times a day and every single time I say to myself, "this is certainly not fun". But, I was able to emotionally get through the worst part in the beginning and now it is absolutely one of my favorite things about being a mother. The cost was worth it for me.
I imagine that everyone who FF would say the same, the cost is worth it to them. The ladies who hated BFing are not any less of a mother than those who love it. I hate spending money on anything that I can provide for free (monetarily), so it was worth it to me to push through until it BFing got better. The act of BFing lifts me up emotionally. If it tore me down, I would not have continued. Everyone agrees that Mom needs to take care of herself before she can take care of anyone else. But Mommy Guilt is awful and if there is even one person who insinuates that you are not doing the absolute 100% best thing for your child, then you (collectively) have to get defensive. We all do, it's our natural Mama Bear instincts. Everyone has to do what is best for their family in each situation.