Has anyone chosen adoption because of their current health?

khsmajorette

Just after DH and I discussed being ready for kids, I was diagnosed with an autoimmune arthritis disease. We aren't allowed to try for kids while I'm on the medicine I'm on, and I have no idea how long it'll take me to get this under control. We recently started talking adoption, and I am curious to see how many others have done the same due to health issues. I of course am hopeful that this won't take long, but I don't want to waste years that we could have had with an adopted child. Just looking for some ladies in similar situations to chat with.

julandjo

Well, we chose adoption after my second rough, rough pregnancy with a second premature, sick baby, and months of lingering health problems for me afterwards.  I was told that my body just can't handle pregnancy and to try again would be life-threatening.

So I got my tubes tied.  Fast forward and it turns out I have Celiac disease, an autoimmune condition.  I'm quite confident that that was why my body revolted, and now that I'm following a very strict diet free of all the foods (way more than gluten) that were causing the autoimmune attack, I'm WAY healthier than I've ever been.  I'm confident that I *could* have a healthy pregnancy now, but aside from the fact that my tubes are tied, I never ever want to be pregnant again. Too traumatizing.  So we're very happily pursuing adoption for the rest of our kids.  

silliestbunny

I am a cancer survivor and that prompted us to adopt.  My cancer is rare, has a high rate of recurrences years later, and is very vascular.  My oncologist advised that I not ever try and carry a pregnancy.  My eggs/fertility are in question because of chemo too...

So, yes I opted to explore adoption for health reasons.  Some agencies want to know you are IF so I'd have to explain my medical history instead.

daria405

I am so glad you asked that. I lurk and haven't posted here, but I have a similar issue to you, OP.

I have read different books and some say that agencies will require you to be IF in order to adopt. Is that common?

Katybug_h

I have a congenital heart condition, and have had multiple surgeries throughout my life.  Pregnancy, for me, would be a high risk situation, and I would have to be constantly monitored throughout the 2nd and 3rd trimesters.  I got my tubes tied when I was 24, because becoming pregnant just wasn't a risk I wanted to take. 

Good luck with your decision.  Keep us posted. 

EclairAngst

We did not choose adoption for a physical health reason, exactly.  After several failed pregnancies, we decided that mentally/emotionally, we were going to be pushing ourselves further than was healthy for us if we kept trying.  

I wanted to add, though, that none of the agencies we spoke with asked a single question even in the realm of IF.  I'm sure it is asked at some agencies, but we could have just as easily adopted from our agency if we were completely fertile, fwiw.   

julandjo

EclairAngst:

we could have just as easily adopted from our agency if we were completely fertile, fwiw.   

Ditto this.  At our agency, the only reason IF is brought up is to make sure that if you were IF, you have allowed yourself to grieve and that you are in the right place emotionally to begin the adoption process. And that regardless of your fertility, if you do become pg during the process, your profile is inactivated until your youngest is 18 months old.

melissadiga

Hi Eclair!

I just saw your post and congratulations on your recent match!

I know this is a crazy time in your life, but I wanted to reach out to you about an opportunity to potentially share your adoption journey for a documentary series for a cable network. I would love to give you more information and speak to you. Please feel free to email me: melissa.casting@gmail.com with your contact information or you can call my cell phone : 770-891-7171.

 I hope you hear from you soon!

 All the best,

Melissa Miron

Casting Producer

DiGa Vision

New York, NY 

 

DebateThis

melissadiga:

Hi Eclair!

I just saw your post and congratulations on your recent match!

I know this is a crazy time in your life, but I wanted to reach out to you about an opportunity to potentially share your adoption journey for a documentary series for a cable network. I would love to give you more information and speak to you. Please feel free to email me: melissa.casting@gmail.com with your contact information or you can call my cell phone : 770-891-7171.

 I hope you hear from you soon!

 All the best,

Melissa Miron

Casting Producer

DiGa Vision

New York, NY 

 

OMG. What a tool you are. Reported.

MistyHinrichs

This is my first adoption board post, but I've been a long-time lurker. This question just happened to bring me out of "hiding".

My pregnancy with DS was very rough. I have a golf-ball sized cyst in my brain, and I take daily medication to prevent the migraines that are caused by the cyst. I stopped taking them during pregnancy, due to the risk of birth defects, but it was really hard. Not something I'm sure I could endure again...

While I was pregnant, I started having some chest pain. My BP went really high, and then a few weeks later I had full-blown pre-eclampsia. I spent almost a month on bed rest. We just assumed that the chest pain was due to the pre-E. When the pain didn't let up after (a VERY difficult and traumatic) delivery, my OB ordered a chest CT. It was then discovered that I had a very rare birth defect. This birth defect necessitated that I have 1/3 of my lung removed, as well as have some arteries "re-routed", to include my aorta. I HAD to have the surgery or else I would most likely die of congestive heart failure within the year. I made it through the surgery and am now doing fine, but it's unclear how much damage was done to my heart in all of the years that I lived with this defect and didn't know about it. Most of the time, the defect is detected during pre-natal ultrasounds and fixed shortly after birth. My surgeon had never treated someone as old as me for this defect.

Adoption has always been something that I've considered, but my health issues are what really set the idea into motion.

 Sorry for the novel... 

Zaphina

i've had moderate to severe crohn's disease for about 9 years now. my husband and i were trying to concieve despite this, only to find that he has fertility issues. as opposed to going the IVF route, we're looking into adoption because of my health. we're just dipping our toe in the adoption pool, if you will, currently. we went to an informational meeting with our local DCF chapter and we're looking into other adoption agencies, too. we're rather clueless, so if anyone has any advice i'd certainly welcome it!!! good luck all, with adoption and with health.