WWYD- Friend hinting for me to throw her a 2nd shower. — The Bump
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WWYD- Friend hinting for me to throw her a 2nd shower.

Okay, so I love my friend dearly... but this seems SOOOO rude to me. Tell me what you would do.

My friend had a little girl 2 years ago and basically threw her own huge shower. She always complains that her mom, MIL, and me never can get it altogether. *My personal reason is that she is very picky and honestly, though we are close we didn't talk much there for quite a while. Like can easily go a few months w/o talking, w/o there being a problem... Anyways, she is pregnant again and said if it was a boy that there would be another shower and I think was hinting that I should help throw it. We both live very far from home now and I think it is rude to do a shower so soon after the last one. I kind of feel that if you chose to get everything in pinks and purples last time that was your choice. Am I being a brat? Mind you I found out b/c I was offering some of my LO's things b/c they are unisex. WWYD?

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Re: WWYD- Friend hinting for me to throw her a 2nd shower.

  • I wouldn't take the hints and wouldn't feel the need to explain why.
  • I would ignore any of those hints.  She sounds like she has a case of the gimmies/attention whoreness - throwing her own huge first shower, and now all but asking you to throw a shower for another baby 2 years later. 

    Maybe she'll throw herself a gender reveal party and somehow turn it into a gift giving event, lol.

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  • image jociejones:
    I wouldn't take the hints and wouldn't feel the need to explain why.
    This.  At MOST I'd smile and say "Well, hopefully someone will offer to throw you one.  but just so you know, many people see it as tacky to have a shower for a 2nd child.".

     

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  • image EastCoastBride:

    image jociejones:
    I wouldn't take the hints and wouldn't feel the need to explain why.
    This.  At MOST I'd smile and say "Well, hopefully someone will offer to throw you one.  but just so you know, many people see it as tacky to have a shower for a 2nd child.".

     

    Or laugh like she is joking and say "Oh my goodness! You got SO much stuff at your first shower, what could you possibly need for another? You'd need to buy a bigger house!" or something that might sound better than that.  Play it off like she couldn't possibly be serious. 

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  • When my SIL was pregnant with her second, we did a girls day of mani/pedis and afternoon tea at a local hotel.  It was really nice to still celebrate but it wasn't about getting gifts.  It was a small group of 6 of us (moms and sisters).  With another friend of mine, we threw her a "pamper mom-to-be" party.  So it had a spa theme instead of giving baby gifts.

    I definitely wouldn't feel like I HAD to throw her a shower, especially since she's asking for one.

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  • Indifferent This is a classic case of someone who is GIFT GRABBY.  She has tacky written all over her face.  I would just ignore her hints and if she flat out asks you be honest and say you think it's rude to have another shower since she just had one 2 years ago.
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  • image jociejones:
    I wouldn't take the hints and wouldn't feel the need to explain why.

    This. She's the one acting like a brat.

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  • image EastCoastBride:

    image jociejones:
    I wouldn't take the hints and wouldn't feel the need to explain why.
    This.  At MOST I'd smile and say "Well, hopefully someone will offer to throw you one.  but just so you know, many people see it as tacky to have a shower for a 2nd child.".

     

    I agree with this.  If you are really close to her maybe offer to take her and a couple of other close friends out to lunch. 

  • image jociejones:
    I wouldn't take the hints and wouldn't feel the need to explain why.

    I agree. 

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  • image 526SadieSadie:

    image jociejones:
    I wouldn't take the hints and wouldn't feel the need to explain why.

    I agree. 

    Me too.

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  • What she did was very tacky by throwing her own big baby shower and now she wants a 2nd one. I'd tell her to her face that you're not going to do it. It's rude and tacky for her to impose on people and also she can buy her own baby stuff!

    I'm mean, but seriously it's one thing to have someone surprise you with a 2nd or 3rd baby shower, but it is a whole different ball game when you're being gift grabby and asking people to host and imposing on others just so you don't have to buy baby stuff.

    I'm a FTM and I have boughten everything my daughter will need. I don't expect any of my guests to give me anything at all. Whatever they give me will be awesome and I will be more than grateful, but I'm not going to hound people just so I don't have to buy my own child things they need.

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  • image NariaDreaming:

    image jociejones:
    I wouldn't take the hints and wouldn't feel the need to explain why.

    This

    Double this. Ignore your friend, it's rude to hint/ask. She'll live.

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  • image missyscadoo:

     I kind of feel that if you chose to get everything in pinks and purples last time that was your choice. 



    this! I *hate* when people do that for their first baby. Why pick gender specific things, then get KU again and most likely have the opposite and will want all new things
  • Maybe, when she finds out the sex, you could get her a few cheaper items that are gender-specific if it's a boy, or just new in general if it's a girl so that she feels that you're helping her celebrate the baby but don't have to feel like you need to throw her a shower. Just a thought...
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