Great punch in the heart (DD in ticker)-long

muriel & eder

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(Sorry, I have to give you background info so you can understand) I returned to sub in a school where they have known me for years. They knew I was pregnant with my DD and they all asked about her. Well, last year when I was pregnant, there was another teacher pregnant and we had close EDDs. Well, today at lunch someone asked me, ?When are you having the next one?? (Good thing I was turned around washing my hands, so they didn?t see my facial BLOCKED EXPRESSION, I told them ?not soon? (they didn?t know about my 2^nd pregnancy or m/c). Then someone said joking around, ?well, you need to catch up soon because D is already pregnant again. She is 2 months already? (D is the teacher that was pregnant at the same time as me last year). I swear I felt a great punch in the heart. I would have been in my 2^nd month of pregnancy now. I couldn?t say a thing, but ?good for her, is she looking for the little girl?? Work does keep me occupied, but that ruined my lunch and made my day a sad one (besides that is a rainy one). I just wish they don?t mention this again, I don?t know if I can handle it a second time. Oh, did I also mention that the teacher I am subbing for just had her baby today. Don't get me wrong, I wish them the best, but it is just too recent and all this does is remind me of that horrible day.

 

Thanks for reading. I just had to share.

 

P.S.: I haven?t had the opportunity, but want to do so now. I pretty much came here for support for the lost of my angel, but I want to apologize that I didn?t realize that my DD's ticker could be uncomfortable for some people. So, I am really sorry for that, I should of thought about that, but when I started posting here all I can think of was what had happened. I promise I?ll warn in my title about my ticker from now on like others do.

jonesdouglas

Sorry you had such a rough day. Some people just don't know when to STFU! I just found out one of my good friends is pregnant...and that stung...BAD.

I hope tomorrow is better for you.

((hugs)) 

kpowers982

Wow, I can't believe you held it together, you are so much stronger than I would have been. Sorry you had to be in that awkward, painful situation.

ilenegrace

I know exactly how you feel! People ask me all the time when I am going to give DS a brother or sister (as if they have to convince me or something?) It is annoying enough in normal circumstances but now it is just down right painful every time people ask. Most don't know about my first m/c last year let alone about my most recent and it just stinks. I am not about to turn around and say look we HAVE tried, but I really wish I could say something to make them stop.

Also my cousin and I were pregnant the same time with DS and she is now pregnant again and didn't tell me and when I walked into Christmas and saw her little belly I was shocked, happy for her, and extremely sad for myself. I really felt in that moment for the first time since my first m/c that I was really missing out and I had to listen to her and my other pregnant cousin talk about how excited they were that their babies would be here for next Christmas. I seriously sat in the bathroom crying for atleast an hour. So anyways I just wanted you to know I totally get that conflicted feeling of feeling happy for someone but sad (and a teensy jealous for me).  

muriel & eder

Thanks of your responses. I just love how we can let all our feelings out on this board. If it wasn't for this board, I would probably go crazy.