Anyone with 2 sets of twins?

sdb421

I have fraternal twin girls who are 2 years and 9 months old. I found out that am pregnant with a very surprise pregnancy (we had decided that we were most likely done having kids) and today saw 2 heartbeats. I'm due with my second set of twins when my girls will be around 3 years 4 months old.

 I wish that I could say that I am happy with the news, but the combination of this being a surprise pregnancy and now finding out it's twins again, I'm really struggling emotionally. I am a SAHM and my husband travels frequently for work. I was finally feeling like I was starting to get my life back. I was back to working out 5 days a week, feeling good about my body again, getting more "me" time since my girls started preschool, able to use babysitters more often and really starting to enjoy having toddler twins and the fun things that we were doing. 

Parenting infant twins was one of the hardest and most isolating things I've ever done and I'm terrified to go back there, mourning the loss of my "life" again,  the plans and future I saw for my kids and our family of 4. I know that this sounds ridiculous and that I should be happy and looking at this as the blessing that it is, but I'm just not there. I was hoping someone on here might have experienced 2 sets of twins and might be able to offer some advice, suggestions, perhaps just someone to let me know that I'll be okay and that I'll get through this...

 Thank you....

august8080

I don't have two sets, just one, very surprising set on the way. Just wanted to send you hugs and say don't feel bad about what you're feeling. DH and I have both had a lot of mixed feelings about having twins and so many people say, "OH MY GOOOOSH!! ARE YOU SO EXCITED?!?!" and I'm like........"welllll" because I don't want to sound or be ungrateful, but it's just not what we expected, not what we would have chosen, etc. and we've had to mourn the loss of a typical singleton pregnancy/labor&delivery/parenting.

I think you'll be able to come around and get, at least, somewhat excited. Also, I would think about what might have helped you feel less isolated in the beginning and try to make some plans to do things differently this time around. Maybe it's using a night nanny to get better sleep? Maybe using a daytime babysitter sooner? Not sure if those are financially an option, but it could help. Hang in there and best of luck on your pregnancy!

atlantic

august8080:

I don't have two sets, just one, very surprising set on the way. Just wanted to send you hugs and say don't feel bad about what you're feeling. DH and I have both had a lot of mixed feelings about having twins and so many people say, "OH MY GOOOOSH!! ARE YOU SO EXCITED?!?!" and I'm like........"welllll" because I don't want to sound or be ungrateful, but it's just not what we expected, not what we would have chosen, etc. and we've had to mourn the loss of a typical singleton pregnancy/labor&delivery/parenting.

All of this!  And I've learned from the little time I've spent on this board that even with one set of twins, what you're feeling is SO normal!

MagPie08

You do not sound ridiculous at all! I would have many of the same thoughts and feelings, so be kind to yourself and don't beat yourself up over being not-so-over-the-moon. 

There are several MoMs here who have two sets of multiples and I hope they post and can offer some support  

SRK128

My mom! I am 32 and my older set of twin siblings are 35 and my younger set it 30. My mom had my brother and sister then me then my brothers. It is totally doable. She said she was worried sick since it was such a surprise. You will get through this I promise. 

klr210

I just wanted to say that I understand how you feel to some extent and sending you hugs. 

erniebufflo

You need Gekeler! She has two sets of twin girls and is a fellow April 2012 mom due with baby girl #5!

LALASEPT05

I am sorry I don't have two sets of twins but I understand everything you are feeling and would feel the same way you are feeling now. I don't have words of wisdom really just that I think having gone through all of this already - you are more equipped to handle a twin pregnancy and twin infants than you were the first time around. You'll have perspective and you'll know that the difficult stages don't really last that long and you'll know that time really goes fast. Before you know it your older twins will also be old enough to be little helpers and little entertainers that you didn't have the first time around and that will make things easier as well. You can do it...you can absolutely do it. Going from 0 to 2 is like warp speed going from 2 to 4 I think is actually slowing down. You'll do it and you'll do it well.

LakeGenevaBride

CateElizabeth (???) had a second set of twins when her first set were 14 months old. 

klr210

I want to add that my twin girls were born when my DD1 was exactly 3 years 4 months old. I realize she's one kid, but she's been a helper and sweetheart and the age dif. has been ideal. I have thought to myself that I wish my DD1 had a twin b/c her biggest need is a playmate. (don't flame that) 

GeauxTigers82

Bless your heart!

Just think about how many people will be looking at you with complete awe and amazement!

 

amanda31H

I don't have two sets of twins, but I really wanted to respond.

I think everything you are feeling is completely normal, as others have posted.  My DH didn't travel, but I also found raising twin infants (esp the first 3 months) to be very isolating.  I really struggled emotionally with being a new Mom, and throw in a second newborn.....well I didn't handle it that well. I don't think anything you wrote sounds "ridiculous."

But now that you're there..... you'll figure out how to do it.  I've always thought that if I ever had a second set (we had ID, so very unlikely...but I was a ball of nerves when I got PG this time waiting for our first u/s), there are so many things I learned from my first set that I'd be much better off the second time around.  Plus, you won't be a new mom this time.  Experience is on your side this time. 

I can only imagine what's going through your head, but thank God we're pregnant for 40 weeks (or less with multiples!) so you do have time to digest the information.  Give yourself some time and cut yourself a bit of slack.  You need time to get used to it, and then once you get used to it, you'll push through just like you did the first time. 

sdb421

Thank you all for your kind responses. I really appreciate it!

lrrb

I have two older daughters who are 5 months apart (one is adopted) so I basically had two babies at the same time and felt the SAME way you did when I found out it was twins....two babies AGAIN.  My twins are now 3 months (almost 4 months old) and I'm finding that having two babies again is a LOT easier the second time around.  My older girls (both 4 now) play SO well together and I find that they keep me company a lot.  I don't feel as isolated as I did the first go around.  We also have TONS of friends who are very supportive and come over and play a lot (bc I can't get out tons just yet).  Its so very different for me this time bc I'm so much more relaxed and we have a great group of friends.  My older girls also go to part time pre-school which helps A TON haha.  

So I know where you are coming from sister and honestly I can truly say its a LOT easier this time around.  Hang in there, you will be okay!  Prayers for you sweetie! 

meredith7327

I have 2 sets, almost exactly 2 years apart.  I was SHOCKED when I found out I was pregnant with the second set and had mixed emotions in the beginning.  Like yourself, my husband travels frequently and it's usually me sun up- sun down everyday.  I must say that although it is a TON of work and VERY hard in the beginning it gets so much easier.  You will get to the point where you "have your life back" and then you'll probably be like me and miss having little babies to take care of.  My twins' just turned 3 and 5 and it so much easier now.  Taking care of my second set was so much easier in that I already knew how to handle twins.  It is much harder to care for 4 then it is for 2, but you do what you have to do.  I feel like our family is so special, and wouldn't have it any other way