My water broke late at night Tuesday and Dr on call advised me to go the ER. Ultrasound at ER confirmed no water around her. They said that more than likely I would be going into labor within the next 24-72 hours. She was only 19 weeks and wasn't going to make it. Friday night my blood work and high temp confirmed that I had an infection and my labor soon started.
It was my first baby so I didn't know what to expect during labor. I was so scared and in pain. I got an epidural because my nurses advised it. My body became numb and my husband and I fell asleep. Around 11 am I awoke to the feeling of water rushing out of me. I hit the nurse call button and she came in and looked under my blanket and told me that it was my little girl.
She came out while I was sleeping. And had a faint heartbeat.
I held her and she went to heaven.
Her daddy and I are hurting so bad. And I'm mostly numb.
I don't know where to go from here. How to deal with everything. It just hurts too much.
Re: I'm just so lost.
My heart goes out to you. Something very similar happened to me on Friday and my little girl at 19 weeks went to heaven too. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. It's awful and unfair and terribly painful. I'm not sure where to go from here either and I'm sorry I don't have any advice for you, but want you to know you have a support system here and all of these women have been incredibly helpful since I introduced myself a short time ago.
So sorry for your loss. Hugs
type 1 diabetic for 7 years. Been on the pump for 6 years.
My husband picked her first name and the middle name was after both of our grandma's.
Buffy Amelia Mae Brown.
She had her daddy's nose all the way.
I'm glad we held and saw her.
We weren't sure that we'd be able to.
BFP 10/31/11 EDD 7/15/12 pPROM 2/25/12
"How very softly you tiptoed into our world. Almost silently; Only a moment you stayed. But what an imprint your footprints have left on our hearts."
I am so sorry for the loss of your baby Buffy. I hate to say it but welcome to this board. These women are amazing and I hope we can help you find comfort and peace in this aweful time.
Again I am so sorry for your loss but I am so glad you got to see and hold her.
BFP #2 - EDD 2/26/12 M/C 6/28/11 @ 5w2d
BFP #3 - EDD 4/7/12 M/C 8/2/11 @ 4w2d
Too beautiful for this earth
BFP #4 - EDD 12/09/12, Lucille arrived 11/26/12
Jenn
3 IUI's all BFN
IVF#1 BFN IVF#2 BFP, loss at 19 weeks FET#1 BFN IVF#3 BFP, m/c FET#2 BFN
Missing our twins Zachary and Madison, lost at 19 weeks on 11/13/09, edd 4/9/10
BFP 7/17/10, m/c 7/25/10, edd 3/25/11
Ectopic, lost left tube 4/20/11, edd 12/6/11
my blog
I am so very sorry. I was really hoping that you would have gotten that miracle. Please know that we are all here for you whenever you need. It is such a tragedy to be in this situation.
I have been through this twice and remember all to well the fear and the pain of not knowing what will happen. I am so glad that you at least had a few moments to hold your little girl before she passed.
((huge hugs))
Our baby boy,Logan, was born still at 19w3d on 7/1/2011
Our 2nd baby boy, Mason, was born still at 20w3d on 1/31/2012
After a much needed sanity break... we are praying for our rainbows
((BFP 7/29/13)) ((EDD 4/12/14)) It's BOY/GIRL twins!!!
I am incredibly sorry for the loss of your sweet little girl Buffy. We are all here for you.
Hugs,
Jenn
We are so thankful that our second daughter, Lillian Elizabeth "Lily", was born healthy and happy on February 11, 2013. We love her to pieces.
We lost our first daughter, Hannah Grace on May 4, 2011. She was buried on May 14 during a beautiful service at my home church. We are grateful that if she could not be here with us, that she is healed and whole with the Lord. We look forward to the day when we will get to meet her. We love her so much.