Petrified of something I can't control..

Lhand11

So my BFF just told me about how a little baby boy died of SIDS in his father's arms. The baby was just taking a nap with his daddy and never woke up. This scares the crap out of me. I am so heartbroken for this family and any family that loses a child. All the SIDS cases I have heard of involve baby boys. This may be just a coincidence, but still unnerving none-the-less.  My DH's cousin/godson died of SIDS several years ago, so unfortunately they know loss. Also, all of the cases I have heard of have occurred around 4-5 months. I am going to worry about his for 11 more months and then after that it will be something else. 

I said an extra prayer today at church for all mothers and their babies.  I guess the life of motherhood is all encompassing worry. 

michelle_1221

I can relate.  I am extra terrified about this because I don't think my MIL has any regard for the "new" way things are done, such as babies sleeping on their back.  And while so far I've avoided her being on alone with DD, I know eventually, like around the 3-5 month mark, she'll end up keeping her and I'm terrified. 

As an aside, a co-worker loss her baby at 7 months due to cord compression and we still pray daily for her.  I am just so grateful for my fussy baby. 

SRK128

My friend lost her daughter when she was 4 weeks old to SIDS. She just had another baby on February 5th. I am also terrified of this as well. 

megaloo27

SIDS is very scary, but when I did more research I felt a little better. According to one research project about 90 percent of "SIDS" deaths are actually accidental suffications. So if you take precautions to prevent suffication the scary factor is a bit less. The article I was reading was a study in Chicago I believe, and they said most cases were from babies sleeping in bed with the parents, or a crib full of blankets and toys. They also said they call many cases SIDS to spare the grieving parents any grief of hearing "accidental suffication". Obviously SIDS is a real threat, but don't let it consume you. 

rebelina1

megaloo27:

SIDS is very scary, but when I did more research I felt a little better. According to one research project about 90 percent of "SIDS" deaths are actually accidental suffications. So if you take precautions to prevent suffication the scary factor is a bit less. The article I was reading was a study in Chicago I believe, and they said most cases were from babies sleeping in bed with the parents, or a crib full of blankets and toys. They also said they call many cases SIDS to spare the grieving parents any grief of hearing "accidental suffication". Obviously SIDS is a real threat, but don't let it consume you. 

When we took our infant CPR class this is what the instructor told us also.  She said you should never fall asleep with a baby napping on your shoulder because they can turn their head into you and have accidental suffication.  I am so paranoid about accidental suffication that I rarely let my DS sleep on me, even when I am wide awake.  I can't even imagine experiencing a loss like that.

rebelina1

megaloo27:

SIDS is very scary, but when I did more research I felt a little better. According to one research project about 90 percent of "SIDS" deaths are actually accidental suffications. So if you take precautions to prevent suffication the scary factor is a bit less. The article I was reading was a study in Chicago I believe, and they said most cases were from babies sleeping in bed with the parents, or a crib full of blankets and toys. They also said they call many cases SIDS to spare the grieving parents any grief of hearing "accidental suffication". Obviously SIDS is a real threat, but don't let it consume you. 

When we took our infant CPR class this is what the instructor told us also.  She said you should never fall asleep with a baby napping on your shoulder because they can turn their head into you and have accidental suffication.  I am so paranoid about accidental suffication that I rarely let my DS sleep on me, even when I am wide awake.  I can't even imagine experiencing a loss like that.

pottermommy

I normally post on the loss boards because I lost my 19month old due to accidental drowning while I was away at work. 

Let me tell you the fear is terrible, especially if you have lived the horror before.  But I try to remind myself that if I allow the fear to control everything I do with or for my son than I am not living at all and there is no reason to lay down and let sorrow, frief and fear consume everything.

Do I miss my daughter? Everyday, every minute, every second.  I think about her all the time.  But you are right, you can't control everything, so the best thing that I can offer is to tell you, to love your baby every second.  Let him see how much you care and don't feel guilty or bad for spoiling him or overindulging him and his whimpers.  Because when it comes down to it, you get this time once with him.  And we don't know the future.

I have no regrets when it comes to my DD, I adored her and she knew it.  She was so so spoiled and rotten and she knew all she had to do was pout out that lip and she had me.  And I wouldn't change it because that is all I have.  So just know that you are doing something, you love that baby and that is what matters! 

Don't let the fear of what could happen run what is happening.

jnk062602

pottermommy:

I normally post on the loss boards because I lost my 19month old due to accidental drowning while I was away at work. 

Let me tell you the fear is terrible, especially if you have lived the horror before.  But I try to remind myself that if I allow the fear to control everything I do with or for my son than I am not living at all and there is no reason to lay down and let sorrow, frief and fear consume everything.

Do I miss my daughter? Everyday, every minute, every second.  I think about her all the time.  But you are right, you can't control everything, so the best thing that I can offer is to tell you, to love your baby every second.  Let him see how much you care and don't feel guilty or bad for spoiling him or overindulging him and his whimpers.  Because when it comes down to it, you get this time once with him.  And we don't know the future.

I have no regrets when it comes to my DD, I adored her and she knew it.  She was so so spoiled and rotten and she knew all she had to do was pout out that lip and she had me.  And I wouldn't change it because that is all I have.  So just know that you are doing something, you love that baby and that is what matters! 

Don't let the fear of what could happen run what is happening.

I'm sorry for your loss, thank you for sharing.  Kamryn is beautiful.

Lhand11

pottermommy:

I normally post on the loss boards because I lost my 19month old due to accidental drowning while I was away at work. 

Let me tell you the fear is terrible, especially if you have lived the horror before.  But I try to remind myself that if I allow the fear to control everything I do with or for my son than I am not living at all and there is no reason to lay down and let sorrow, frief and fear consume everything.

Do I miss my daughter? Everyday, every minute, every second.  I think about her all the time.  But you are right, you can't control everything, so the best thing that I can offer is to tell you, to love your baby every second.  Let him see how much you care and don't feel guilty or bad for spoiling him or overindulging him and his whimpers.  Because when it comes down to it, you get this time once with him.  And we don't know the future.

I have no regrets when it comes to my DD, I adored her and she knew it.  She was so so spoiled and rotten and she knew all she had to do was pout out that lip and she had me.  And I wouldn't change it because that is all I have.  So just know that you are doing something, you love that baby and that is what matters! 

Don't let the fear of what could happen run what is happening.

Thank you for the advice and thank you for sharing. You seem like an amazing mom and woman. I am sorry for your loss.