Yesterday I went to the doctor thinking I was having weird discharge. Turns out my uterus had dilated two centimeters. I was sent to the high risk doctor where I had an ultrasound and an amino to determine if there was an infection in the amniotic sac before having a cerclage done. I was convinced everything would be fine. The amino determined however, that there was an infection and the doctors determined that I would have to deliver the baby at 19 weeks. They told me my baby wouldn't survive. They told me I would have to go through the whole labor process. I felt like part of me was dying. It was the most horrific experience of my life. I just wanted to take my baby home with me. I have cried and cried. This is completely unfair and this wasn't supposed to happen. I was supposed to be going in for my anatomy scan next week. I'm supposed to be having a baby.
My 3 year old DD already loves this baby is much, so talks to my tummy everyday and has named the baby cupcake. I don't know what to say to her. She was so excited about being a big sister. I know I should be able to get pregnant again in a few months when we are ready but I wanted this baby. I wanted to love this baby.
I'm just beyond devastated. Here I sit in then hospital and I don't know where to go from here.
Thanks for reading
Re: Devastated. New here.
You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through.
If you were in my shoes, you'd fall the first step."
type 1 diabetic for 7 years. Been on the pump for 6 years.
Delivering a stillborn baby is among one of the worst experiences I think one can I have. My heart breaks for you as I can remember being there in some ways like it was yesterday. We are all here for you.
If they have not told you this, you can have your baby buried or cremated (or both) if you want. You just need to contact a local funeral home and the hospital will arrange for the transfer. Some women do this, some do not. There is no right answer, I just wanted you to know your options.
I am so, so sorry for your loss.
Hugs to you.
Jenn
We are so thankful that our second daughter, Lillian Elizabeth "Lily", was born healthy and happy on February 11, 2013. We love her to pieces.
We lost our first daughter, Hannah Grace on May 4, 2011. She was buried on May 14 during a beautiful service at my home church. We are grateful that if she could not be here with us, that she is healed and whole with the Lord. We look forward to the day when we will get to meet her. We love her so much.
Septated uterus, pcos (on metformin), MTHFR
Clomid # 1- July 2010 = BFN / #2 Sept 2010= BFN
IVF#1 - 1/2011 = BFN (Severe AF started 7dpo)
IVF#2 - 3/2011 = Ectopic
Aug 2011- FE - Thaw all - cancelled - embryos didn't make it!
Oct 2011 - IVF#3 = BFP!! ~ TWINS!!
Said goodbye to Twin B @ 9w5d
Hudson Edward ~ Pprom 18 wks 2/16/12 - We love you forever. You have our hearts.
8/15/12 5dFET = BFP! ~ Said goodbye at 7wks gestation
11/9/12 5dFET = BFP! ~ Said goodbye at 5wks gestation
12/28/12 - Septated Uterus Found (was misdiagnosed as bicornuate!)
BFP #2 - Sylvie V. Q. born and died on 10.28.11 at 21w.
BFP #3 - Evie V. Q. Fetal demise @ 16w. DC 7.8.12
BFP #4 - Beatrix V. Q. Born 6.2.13 at 23w6d.
My blog My chart
thelossblog.blogspot.com
I'm so sorry about what you are going through, the same thing happened to me on 2/6 and lost our twin boys :-(, also had to deliver them and I had a hemorrage and on top of that needed blood transfusion, it's been the worse thing I've gone through in my life, not only losing my boys that I loved so much but on top of that going through the labor and funeral home arrangements :-(, we're here for you, hugs
Our baby boy,Logan, was born still at 19w3d on 7/1/2011
Our 2nd baby boy, Mason, was born still at 20w3d on 1/31/2012
After a much needed sanity break... we are praying for our rainbows
((BFP 7/29/13)) ((EDD 4/12/14)) It's BOY/GIRL twins!!!
BFP #2 - EDD 2/26/12 M/C 6/28/11 @ 5w2d
BFP #3 - EDD 4/7/12 M/C 8/2/11 @ 4w2d
Too beautiful for this earth
BFP #4 - EDD 12/09/12, Lucille arrived 11/26/12
I'm so sorry for the loss of your sweet Harper. I lost my son Nathaniel almost 4 months ago, he was born at 22 weeks 4 days due to preterm labor. I went to L&D 4 days earlier for some strange discharge, they checked me (cervix was long & closed) & sent me home. Everything seemed fine. Then 4 days later I started cramping & having contractions, got to the hospital & I was 4 cm dilated & the bag was bulging. I delivered my son a few hours later and he died during the delivery. They never found any infection or any problems as to why this happened.
You're right- it is devastating & traumatizing. It was the worst experience of my life. We have a 2&1/2 yo daughter and I'm not sure she quite "got it" yet but she knew there was a baby in mommy's tummy, etc. We were very straightforward with her, told her the baby died. Our cat had died 2 weeks before & so she knew "Lucy died too", it was something she could equate it to. I want to give her an explanation she can grow into, rather than changing our answer as she grows. She will come to understand in time.
I send you big hugs, and lots of love. All the ladies here are wonderful & know what you are going through. It's a very tough road to walk but you're not alone!