The little things.....

wmthorpe0815

       I didnt think that the easiest of tasks would be so hard. The things I loved to do like listen to music, shop, or lay on the floor with the boys is so hard now. Drove to go get some food tonight by myself. I thought I would cry the entire time or drive my car off a bridge (that thought popped in my head when I was pulling into the driveway) but I didnt. I turned on Alt Nation on sirius and drove. I turned the music up as loud as I could handle and drowned out everything that was going through my mind. I definately feel like I have a scarlett letter on my chest. I am seriously thinking about sewing one to all my clothes so instead of imagining one there will actually be one there.  Talk about rambling I think I take the award for that tonight. But wow is it nice to have a place that no one judges you for what you say. I cant even say all of this to my husband. Im sorry, Im done.

weddedwife

I totally know what you mean about the scarlet letter. I feel like I have a sign on my forehead everywhere I go that says "dead baby".

Right after Nathaniel died, I had some random thoughts about getting in the car & driving and driving and just running away. I couldn't do it though; I couldn't leave my DD. Also, I had no idea where I would go. I was on bedrest & unable to drive for weeks anyway- maybe that was a good thing.

dandywarhol

I also had the driving away from it all urge.  I just wanted to escape.  I still have that feeling sometimes.  {{hugs}}

Heatherhah

Hugs to you!!

olp79

I know how you feel, driving is when I start remembering and getting sad. I've been crying pretty much every day while driving except for the past three days.

cherrycobbler

I still fell like running away.  Except my car had been busted since last summer, and I don't really know where I would run away to.  And that "scarlet letter", I've got it too.  Big hugs to you.