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Parenting after a Loss
jertie
member
Colic and MSPI check-in
jertie
member
Hi ladies! Welcome to our weekly colic check-in. Let's hear how things are going for all of you out there! Tell us about your trial and tribulations, successes, stresses and all things colic, reflux or MSPI related.
Also, it might be good to know how long you've been coping with colic, reflux or MSPI. (We'd even love to hear from mom's who have successfully navigated this trying time and might have useful tips.) Remember, we're not going to judge you, so just get it all out and feel free to vent.
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This discussion has been closed.
Re: Colic and MSPI check-in
I'll kick things off. Pip has had colic - acid reflux since week 3 and she's going on 10w now. The doc put her on Zantac - which worked great, but made her throw up quite a bit. We switched to Prevacid and that seems to work fantastic! She still spits up a lot and occassionally we'll get the projectile vomit - even out the nose, but it's gotten a lot better.
Truly, from the incidents that other ladies have described, I've got it really good. Pip has never screamed while eating and her bouts with crying have improved tremendously. We're finally starting to get a handle on things and are able to manage her crying. I'm doing a lot of attachment parenting and carrying her pretty much everywhere I go (my arms are so tired!), but it has cut down on the crying by 80%. DH set up her crib so the mattress is on a slant - one side is on the highest level up and the other side on the lowest level. This really cuts down on her spitting up at night. A couple things that I've found to help calm her down once she's started crying - hold her while bouncing on an exercise ball. It usually causes her to burp a lot and that seems to relieve the pressure. Another thing that's AWESOME - a friend gave me a CD that she used with her colicky DS which plays 60 minutes of the sound of a vaccuum (sp) cleaner. Usually within 3 minutes of playing it Pip is out like a light! I try not to use it unless I'm absolutely desperate (don't want her to get used to it) - but so far we're 3 for 3.
Finally, this week hasn't been too bad. There have been days where she cries a lot, but I've felt up to the challenge and usually DH takes her during the witching hour at night where she can cry from 45 - 1.5 straight. I usually use this time to catch up on stuff like laundry and various chores, take a shower and check email and The Bump. This time has been invaluable and knowing that I'll have a break in the evening helps me to not get freaked out when stuff doesn't get done during the day - and just focus on taking care of Pip. Oops - I hear Pip on the monitor, off I go...
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Hi Girls... I survived Acid Reflux! LO is 10 months old now... but we started dealing with reflux around 4w. At first the doctors did not listen to me... but I kept pushing... at 3months we finally were given Zantac and I stopped nursing. I had PPD & PPA (the reflux was part of the reason.. but there were other reasons.)... LO and I were both a hot mess. I went on meds and we put LO on formula with rice in it. It was like MAGIC! Within 48 hours I had a different baby! If you are ok with formula... I recommend it! We were on enfamil AR.
G has reflux (diagnosed at one month) and colic. He was a very unhappy newborn, and we had BF issues his first few weeks of life. I knew some of the signs of reflux from my past career as a nurse, and he had them. When the Zantac was not working early on, and he had weird poops, the pedi suggested I cut out dairy and soy. Things seemed to improve, but for many weeks he literally spent 70%+ of his waking hours crying (I made a chart to show the pedi--and that was the saddest chart you'd ever want to make). His demeanor was generally cranky (hence the affectionate nicknames "captain crabapple" and "Senor fussypants"). The women on this board kept me sane when I was at my many breaking points. Friends and family did not and do not "get it" at all. I am eternally thankful to whomever (scout?) suggested earplugs to me at one point. They saved my sanity some days.
So almost 20 weeks in, we do have glimmers of a light at the end of the tunnel. G is a terrible sleeper, and still has inconsolable periods throughout the day, Recurrent eczema and explosive gas (no matter what I do or don't eat) but he has also started to smile a lot more. He is behind from a physical development standpoint (still has very spotty head control, hasn't rolled, nowhere near enough tone to contemplate sitting upright). The fact that he could not tolerate more than a few minutes of tummy time a day, and even now can't hack it for more than a few minutes at a time before screaming and grinding his face into the mat till he pukes, does not help. I suspect we'll end up in PT eventually, but I am trying not to freak out yet.
As for the MSPI, once the Zantac started to work I got skeptical about whether cutting out dairy and soy was really doing anything other than torture me. So I did a "dairy trial" on Christmas and that did not go well at all. So other than that I've been dairy and soy free since shortly before thanksgiving. My supply is tanking despite various attempts to boost it, and I have exhausted my small non-dairy non-soy freezer stash, so today G will get his first taste of formula. Alimentum. Blech. I'm sad that I can't continue to give him BM exclusively, and worried that he will react to the proteins in the formula. We'll see how it goes. DH is working from home today to help monitor for any reactions.
So that's where we are today. Hope everyone had a great day!
BFP #1 5/2010 - Missed m/c at 8 weeks
BFP #2 2/2011
Baby G welcomed with love and relief 10/2011
Surprise BFP 1/8/2013...say what? Baby A arrived 9/2013
Motherhood is not for wimps
Yay! Gotta love a survival story.
BFP #1 5/2010 - Missed m/c at 8 weeks
BFP #2 2/2011
Baby G welcomed with love and relief 10/2011
Surprise BFP 1/8/2013...say what? Baby A arrived 9/2013
Motherhood is not for wimps
Cole was a dream baby for the first 4 weeks of his life, I probably would have a dozen more if it was always like that! Right around christmas his stills got more and more mucousy and I saw a few specs of blood. I refer to him as Fussy Gussy because he is definetly more high needs than some babies but never really had inconsolable crying so I shouldn't complain. He just likes to be entertained.
Nothing has changed on the diet and I am now dairy/soy/egg/nut free. Frustration doesn't do how I feel justice. I'm hungry and overwhelmed with guilt that his stools aren't normal. We saw a GI specialist that tossed is some Elecare after a 3 min appt so I just can't seem to let go of BF at this point but we may be getting there. He had his first day of day care yesterday( with family) and she said he is not a fussy baby at all so maybe my expectations are just to high. He is growing like a weed and a chunky boy so it seems this is bothering me more than him but why can't it just be normal poop!! Although to be honest I don't think I know what that is!
ITS A BOY!!!! Born 11/13/11 BFP #4: 10/29/12 edd 7/11/12
Jules, you deserve so much credit and ((hugs)) for trying such a restrictive diet. I could not go nut free (between the almond milk, trail mix, Lara bars, and other nut-containing items that are my diet staples in dairy and soy-free land). I understand all too well the guilt that you are feeling. Any time G has a "bad day" or he blows out his diaper yet again, or his eczema flares up, I feel terrible. DH and I half-jokingly refer to my BM as "battery acid" on those days -- as I once said that I felt like that's what I must be feeding him to make him act/feel/look so miserable. Even though, in all likelihood, a lot of that was out of my control.
As for the "normal" poops, we never saw blood in G's stool (but we did not do a hemocult so who knows) but -- TMI/Grossness Alert -- when this all came down he had nasty explosive green poops with stringy mucous that did not resolve even when I resolved my oversupply/overactive let down issues. This is what led the pedi to suggest the dairy/soy elimination. He still has explosive, liquidy poops but they are various shades of yellow and not at all mucousy.
((Big hugs)) you are doing all you can for your DS and it is no picnic to do so. I give you major props for your efforts -- and hope the hard work gets you the results you hope for!
BFP #1 5/2010 - Missed m/c at 8 weeks
BFP #2 2/2011
Baby G welcomed with love and relief 10/2011
Surprise BFP 1/8/2013...say what? Baby A arrived 9/2013
Motherhood is not for wimps
Thanks lady....poops are still stringy and mucousy. The kicker is that they are just now turning green despite my diet. I wonder if I am focusing on it to much. I just don't know if I should just switch to the formula or if I just hope he grows out of it. All questions I could have asked the specialist if he stayed in the room for more than 2 mins. Waiting on a second opinion. He is happy and doing well so I don't think I'm hurting him but there are times I feel like my BM is poison
ITS A BOY!!!! Born 11/13/11 BFP #4: 10/29/12 edd 7/11/12
hi ladies! i finally got a minute and thought i would join in if you don't mind.
Jace was born on January 23rd, we are officially one month old today! time is flying, although at the same time i feel like it's standing still.
at two weeks, like clock work - Jace started his fussing. it's every night, starting at 7 and ending when he'd finally go to sleep, which wasn't until around midnight. that's a guarentee of his fussiness. it varies during the day, with his episodes lasting until his next feeding because i swear my child is always hungry. his screams were ear piercing, like he was in serious pain. night after night, i'd just sit and cry with him. i've tried everything from gripe water to gas drops to burping positions, nothing helps. the only sort of relief i have found, is driving him around for hours in the car - which sucks considering i live in a one square mile town, but whatever it takes! i truly believe there is something wrong with his little belly, because the gas/burps that this child has are INSANE. i'm talking, adult burps. i can always hear his little belly gurgling and making noises - and that keeps him from sleeping most nights/naps. he'll have a good day where he'll nap for two hours, then followed by 3 days where he will only sleep in like 30min-1hr intervals, being awoken by something and waking up screaming like he had a nightmare.
we are currently breastfeeding and formula feeding. he had to be supplemented when he was born due to his jaundice, and we just kept doing it because we decided to stop breastfeeding once i went back to work. we started out with similac from the hospital, which he would throw up EVERY time he ate, with in minutes of eating it. so we got off that, and went to enfamil newborn - which he reacted awesome too. no more spit up, burping really well, great! then the fussiness started so we switched to the gentlease from enfamil. that appears to be helping a litttttle bit. we were also using the first years breastflow bottles so avoid confusion. well those give him hiccups, so we switched those to dr. browns. we just switched those last week, so i'm not sure how much they are helping. he isn't getting the hiccups anymore, so that's a plus.
we took him to the pediatrician tuesday because he had 4 days in a row which were horrible. even at night time he wasn't sleeping more than an hour at a time, and he refused to sleep anywhere but on me. at the point, i gave in - but even on me it wasn't more than an hour. i mentioned about his issues, and she just said "it's colic, you'll just have to deal until he grows out of it". i think there is something else behind it - even though he isn't spitting up. he does arch his back and stuff while eating, but he loves to eat. we got scolded at the doctors because he went from 7.7lbs to 9.4lbs in two weeks. i feel bad, because i thought i was soothing him and "feeding on demand" but apparently, i'm a bad mom who overfeeds my kid. i told her we never feed sooner then every two hours, but she moved us to 3oz every 3 hours. she blamed his bowel noises and 15+ poopy diapers a day on that, and pretty much shrugged me off. if she thinks i'm going to quit pushing and just deal with the "colic" diagnosis, she's wrong. my intuition tells me there's a reason behind this, and i will push until we find it out.
i also think i'm dealing with post partum depression, but i don't have the guts to bring it up to anyone. i have my post appointment tomorrow, so i think i'll bring it up then if my husband doesn't come back in the room. i don't feel connected with my baby like i think i should. please don't judge me, because i know how this is going to sound, but it's just not there. i love him, with everything i have, but i feel like this colic is robbing me of my child that i longed for. i find myself getting angry and annoyed at him, like he can help it. i hate the way that i am feeling. i even found myself last week doubting if having children was really what i wanted.
my husband isn't helping much. i'm still on maternity leave, so i'm dealing with it all day and all night. he takes him for maybe an hour or so after work but once he's fussy period comes - he brings him back to me and says "here, he wants mommy". i'm starting to resent him and try asking for help but it's like he's more important because he has to get up at 6AM. i'm almost afraid to know what is going to happen on march 5th when i go back to work. he says he's going to help me, but i don't see it happening and am certainly not holding my breath.
ok, enough rambling. i sincerely apologize for moving over, introducing myself, and then disappearing. it's just hard to adjust to being a mom, getting in the swing of things, and dealing with a colicky baby. i honestly try to get on here and respond, but any free time i have i use to shower and eat. i've lost all my baby weight because i just don't have time to eat because we he sleeps, i sleep because i know it's only a 30 minute nap. i lurk alot from my phone! but it's really tough to comment from there. i feel so lost, like i have no clue what i'm doing, my child hates me, and i'm not connected to him. i feel alone, because my husband is all i have. all my family and friends are 3,000 miles away across the country so i feel like i bear the brunt of the weight on my shoulders. i feel like a crybaby, because after reading the stories that you ladies put on here, my situation seems minor but i honestly feel like colic is robbing my of my happiness and connection with my child, who just screams and screams and screams.
sorry so long!
? BFP #1 EDD 10/18/2011. Twin Blighted Ovums 3/10/11. D&C on 3/11/11 ?
?BFP #2 5/19/2011 ? 9/1/2011 - it's a BOY!!! ? Jace Matthew born 1/23/12 ?
?BFP 6/21/2012 - EDD 3/5/2013 - natural MC 7/22/2012 at 7w ?
?BFP 10/24/2012 - EDD 6/26/2013, grow little one grow!?
? BFP #1 EDD 10/18/2011. Twin Blighted Ovums 3/10/11. D&C on 3/11/11 ?
?BFP #2 5/19/2011 ? 9/1/2011 - it's a BOY!!! ? Jace Matthew born 1/23/12 ?
?BFP 6/21/2012 - EDD 3/5/2013 - natural MC 7/22/2012 at 7w ?
?BFP 10/24/2012 - EDD 6/26/2013, grow little one grow!?
Massive ((hugs)). I nodded the entire way through the bolded areas above because you are me just a short time ago. YOU ARE NOT ALONE IN HAVING THESE THOUGHTS. I hope that helps to know.
I never would have thought that one screaming infant could reduce me, a 40-year old professional who generally takes no guff from anyone and routinely takes high-falooting executives to task, to a blithering pile of tears, self-doubt and regret. I never cried as much as I did during the first 3 months of G's life. In the wee small hours, I found myself secretly wishing that we never had LO, fantasizing about having my old life back, and wondering what the eff I was thinking if I ever thought I would be a good mother. Clearly I was a failure, right? DH genuinely thought I had lost my marbles. And I think I did for a while. In retrospect, I should probably have disucssed these feelings with my OB. Instead I just swallowed it and pushed on. I really encourage you to follow your instincts and bring it up with your Dr at your appointment. Get DH out of the room if you have to -- but it might help for him to hear you express what you are feeling. Doing so does not mean you are weak or different from anyone else. It means that you are identifying that you need support and your Dr is in a position to do so and to direct you to resources that could help. If you are afraid that you cannot get the words out, write them down and give him/her the note to read to get the conversation started. Don't miss the opportunity to bring this up.
I have loved my son from the moment I knew I was pregnant, and once he was born I was so thankful he was safe and with us, but I could not correlate that happiness with the screaming (and I mean screaming!) infant in my arms, sapping me of all my energy, and making me doubt my abilities in pretty much everything. Truth be told, I really think it is only in the last month or so that I have felt connected to G in the way I expected. And that is probably due to a combination of time, better understanding of his behavior, and the glimmers of a happier baby that are starting to shine through from time to time. At Christmastime, I posted here that I was able, with my mom's help, to sneak off to the mall to try and find a Christmas gift for DH. I failed at finding a gift, and as I sat in the car in the parking lot afterwards I started to cry. I did not want to start the car and go home to the screaming and stress. I wanted to curl up and stay right there. In the parking lot. Alone. It was so sad. I was so sad. I am still not quite myself, but I am getting closer every day.
My DH is great, and while he was not the biggest help at the start, he has really picked up the pace in helping out in the last couple months. However, he has never understood the level of the pain I experienced and still feel from time to time. I think that is the burden mothers carry. Our bodies and our lives are committed to growing and nurturing this little person in a way that is not true for fathers. Then you add PgAL anxiety on top of that. As a result, I think we feel more deeply and viscerally that we are responsible for everything that happens to our LOs, and we tie our "success" as mothers to how our child acts and matches what we are led to believe is "typical". I know I constantly think that G is not like my friends' kids as babies, or the neighbor kids as babies, or any baby I ever knew before him. Even though it is not fair to compare him to anyone else -- he is his own self.
The thing I've worked on accepting is that there is no "typical" in our lives. I've reduced it to "getting used to it" and "working within it" and "looking beyond it". That's why I think Jertie's idea for this check in is a good one. It helps to know that you are not alone in this experience.
((More hugs)) and apologies that this is so flipping long.
BFP #1 5/2010 - Missed m/c at 8 weeks
BFP #2 2/2011
Baby G welcomed with love and relief 10/2011
Surprise BFP 1/8/2013...say what? Baby A arrived 9/2013
Motherhood is not for wimps
I was going to quite but it was getting long. Huge hugs to you ladies. Nikki you are doing everything right and are not alone. It's hard to be so grateful but also have resentment at the same time and often I feel guilty for even letting the thoughts cross my mind. We have given a lot and had very high expectations to bring these LOs into this world and I think the burden of responsibility is heavy. I think it's good you recognize that you should talk about it.
Sandy... You always have the right thing to say. You have been through a lot with G and are such an amazing mom.
Rachael.. Good luck tomorrow! Update when you can!!
ITS A BOY!!!! Born 11/13/11 BFP #4: 10/29/12 edd 7/11/12
Also jertie thanks for starting the post !!
ITS A BOY!!!! Born 11/13/11 BFP #4: 10/29/12 edd 7/11/12
thank you ladies so much! i'm just feeling conflicted in my feelings - i don't understand how something that i wanted more than anything, something i would give my life for, i can feel that way toward. it almost doesn't make sense. but like i said, i feel like i have it easy compared to some of you. the strength you guys have is amazing! to be dealing with all that y'all are, and still have time to support and crybaby like me - i obviously need to take some pointers and learn from you ladies!
jertie - thanks SO much for starting this idea. it's going to be a wonderful safe haven for my feelings. it's nice to have a place to say how you feel, without worrying about judgement about them. hugs!
sandyd - you are an amazing woman! thank you so much for making me feel a little less crazy. no apoogies for it being long! i loved every word of it, and needed that more than you know. and plus, mine was SUPER long too lol.
and julesjb and rachael, thanks to you guys also! one day this will pass, and hopefully we can look back and laugh - well maybe not laugh, but look back and be stronger from the experiences. hugs to all of you! and hugs to all of your babies too! poor babies.
? BFP #1 EDD 10/18/2011. Twin Blighted Ovums 3/10/11. D&C on 3/11/11 ?
?BFP #2 5/19/2011 ? 9/1/2011 - it's a BOY!!! ? Jace Matthew born 1/23/12 ?
?BFP 6/21/2012 - EDD 3/5/2013 - natural MC 7/22/2012 at 7w ?
?BFP 10/24/2012 - EDD 6/26/2013, grow little one grow!?
I'll try to make this a quick post you guys:
Nikki - your post broke my heart and I saw myself in your post and everything that Sandy said was so spot on - it's like she was in my head. I'm not used to feeling like I can't handle things and this whole parenting thing has totally rattled me to the core. It's only been within the last 2 weeks or so that I've felt connected to Pip - and that seems to come and go - it all started when she started smiling. I caught her grin on my cell phone and I keep it with me all the time so I can pull up the pic when I need strength to go on. Please, please talk with your doctor and see if they can do something for you. Having a baby is hard enough - the hormones, lack of sleep, scary learning curve, etc. - but when you throw colic, lack of support, PPD into it - it's an unfair fight. Don't hesitate to talk with us, PM me or any of us - we've got your back and we're here for you!
Sandyd - You are awesome and I agree with PP, you always know the right thing to say. And...I wasn't exagerating, you put words to everything I was feeling - I'm so thankful that you're so incredible at expressing your emotions!
RachelA - Let us know how the test goes!
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I keep trying to get on and respond to this, but screamy colic baby is making it hard! Hopefully I can get on and write something up in the middle of the night when she's nursing for the billionth time. In case I can't get the time for a day or two, I wanted to send much love to you all. I'm right there with you on this crazy ride.
Niki - you are definitely not alone in your thoughts. I almost feel like I have a split personality right now. I hope you can discuss how you are feeling with the doc so you can start feeling better.
I don't know if Gabriel has Colic or reflux. MY pedi refuses to diagnose till 6 weeks. He says that you can't tell if they are still just not holding down everything or if they just are eating too fast and too much until then.....
But he spits up almost everything he eats everytime he eats. No matter how long I hold him upright after eating. And he SCREAMS afterwards for about ten minutes, like ear piercing screams.
He will spit up the "just ate BM" two or three times and then will spit up curdled or chunky BM on and off until it is time to eat again.
He doesn't scream all day or all night, unless you try to lay him flat. About a minute after laying him flat he is shrieking and throwing up spitting up, I don't really know the difference.
He will have like episodes of crying, inconsolable crying, he will stop for a second when you reposition him and then resume the crys. It lasts for about 40 mins at a time and then he doesn't do it again until a few feedings later. He also always always gets hiccups after eating and spitting up.
We are trying gripe water, I can't tell if it is working or not, but I feel like I should at least be trying something. I don't eat dairy anyways so that isn't really an issue, I am at a loss. I don't know what is wrong or what to do to help him....Does this sound like colic or reflux or anything that you are familiar with.
I agree with RachelA - that's total crap that the doc won't do anything un 6w. That's a long time to wait, especially when your LO is vomiting and crying after eating - there's a definite pattern. Having your LO suffer (and you!) seems completely unnecessary. Is there another Pedi that you can see to get a second opinion? I hope that your doc pulls his/her head out of his bum and gets you some help soon! (BTW - sounds like reflux to me.)
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It is very projectile. Sometimes he hits the wall behind us instead of us. I mean at least I am not wet when that happens though....But even after two or three of those it will kind of come up in dribbles for the rest of the hour. We have given up on burp cloths and just use recieving blankets b/c of the volume...
The other pedi in the area that is any good has a two week waiting period for new patients..By then he will be six weeks so I am just waiting it out for his ped. I really like them they are open until 9 every night of the week and if there is a high fever or something overnight you call the nurse line and the OC pedi will meet you at the office no matter the time.
The facilities are great so I don't want to change but it is very frustrating for them to refuse to do anything at all.
Thank you for your responses. I feel a little better knowing that I am not crazy and that it isn't normal for him to be doing this. I felt like I was whining b/c the Dr said that it was normal for "new babies" to do that. Thank you so much.
Definitely sounds like reflux. I'm sorry you have to wait for a dx, that's BS. P was on her second reflux med by the time she was 4 weeks old.
In the meantime while you wait, try leaning back at an angle while you nurse. That will slow the flow of milk and may help him tolerate it a bit more. Also, you can do a modified football hold and have him practically sitting all the way up while nursing. That one is kind of hard to maneuver, though.
Also, try feeding him less but in more frequent intervals. He may protest at first, but it should help take the edge off. Not sure if you mentioned it already, but be sure to keep him upright at at least a 30 degree angle for 20-30 min after each feeding. Good luck and I hope he's doing better soon.