Poll: birth and visitors

goodhartedmommy

Did you want anyone or have anyone there besides DH at the birth? How did you feel about visitors immediately after, in the first few weeks, etc? Did it change after the first time?

 

I just wanted it to be me and DH for E's birth. It was, but I remember asking for my mom partway through pushing (I pushed for 3.5 hours, and as I said a few days ago, DH just wasn't that hands-on support I needed). No one got her for me, though...it's like they never heard and I just gave up.

 She was there for B's birth, and she will be there for Maile's birth.I'm not sure if anyone else will be there. I know my MIL will NOT, but I would have my sister there if she could make it, along with one of my friends

I also loved having visitors, not so much in the hospital at times because I never got a moment alone with my babies, but I loved having people come to my house, bringing me food, keeping me company, etc. 

**BAC***

It was me, DH, my mom and my MIL.  And that was what we wanted.

After delivery, there were about 30 close family and friends waiting and they all got to see Regan.  I wanted her greeted with all the love and support she could get. 

But I also totally see how someone would want it more private than what we had.

neesernicole

I would honestly like it if i could have a secret c/s and then call them up and surprise them.  this would be after dh and dd had time to meet the new baby, i get cleaned up and refreshed, etc. 

 when i had M i swear i was learning how to bf in front of a crowd.  i was so drugged up at the time i didn't say anything but never again.

Wan-naBe

we agreed that it would be just me and the hub when the bean was born. ?we stuck to the plan of not calling anyone till after she was actually born. ?

however, we were totally okay with visitors right after. ?the ILs were there within the hour. ?my parents rolled in about 8 hours later.?

sunshiny79

For my first, a close girlfriend, mil and DH were in the room.  We have no other family near us and I actually didn't mind mil in there.  Didn't have any visitors (except mil) either.  Again, no family.  DH stayed the entire time with me.

My second was a planned c-section.  Only my DH was there, mil visited the second day and DH went home each night to be with G.
 

REOM

Only DH during the actual pushing/delivery.  With DD#1 I had the epidural, so I had no problem talking with visitors. With #2, no epidural so I was in a lot of pain. My mom did come in for a short time.

We had SO many visitors, it was kindof overwealming. I remember, I couldn't wait until 8:00 when visiting hours were over and they all had to leave. 

I really appreciated the visits and help once I went home. Especially this time around.

DandR

#1 was a scheduled c-section.  I needed my mom to be there during the prep stuff because she's my mom.  I was annoyed that my mom brought my dad along....but we all knew it would be JUST DH and I in the OR..obviously.  My mom and dad got to see #1 when DH wheeled her down the hall to the nursery for shots/bath, while I went to recovery.  So besides my dad being there, it was perfect.  IL's arrived hours later.

#2...water broke in the middle of the night...my SIL came over to watch #1, so my brother and SIL were the only ones that knew we were at the hospital until after the baby was born.....my mom lived 5 minutes away and actually was on her way to the gym/wellness center that is attached to the hospital, so she arrived minutes after we called in her workout clothes.

#3...my mom knew we were going to the hospital...no one showed up until after #3 was born...and luckily they all got there quick enough to see him because he was whisked off to the NICU shortly after he was born.

I wouldn't have it any other way.  I can't imagine having a crowd.

amiamish

Is you're going to have a "poll" use the poll feature... DandR can explain how...she is Poll God.

amiamish

If you're going to have a "poll" use the poll feature... DandR can explain how...she is Poll God.

goodhartedmommy

There are way too many options to make it an actual poll. I guess this is a survey, huh?

MrsErickson

With DD #1 everyone knew I was being induced on Monday morning.  I ended up going in Sunday night and having a c-section.  We were able to call everyone in the morning to let them know she was here.  For both of my girls it was important to us that it just be me and DH.  I was fine with visitors in the hospital, although after #1 was born and they came every day all day, I put a limit on visitors with #2.  Once we were home I was more than happy to have as many visitors as could come.  I loved having people over to see the babies.

LinzDavid

I only wanted my husband in the room.  My mom and mil came in briefly before I was in active labor and I was o.k. with that.  We had about 10 visitors that showed up right as they whisked Ryan away to the nursery.  It was nice to have them there but, I was STARVING and wanted a real meal.  (Had already been in the hosp for 3 days for PreE).  And I wanted a real meal from outside of the hosp.  But that took forever since everyone was so caught up with the baby (myself included).

When I have another It will be the same with only H in the room.  Also, I want our own family moment when Ryan meets his little brother or sister. 

KoriBrett

We wanted me, DH, docs, baby. 

Both were scheduled c's though.  Which meant the entire focking family showed up later in the day and I had to have the nurses kick everyone out twice.  At one point there were 9 people in my damned room.  My mom saw our pede in the hallway (they're friends) and actually sent him back to check on me when I was in recovery.

With #2, it was way more sedate, probably mostly because we only told our parents what time/day it was scheduled, and DS was in NICU for 9 days so things were weird.

dallystarr

It was just DH and I for the birth. My mom lives out of state, but I maybe would have her there otherwise. NO WAY would I have my MIL in there!!

I had a few family visitors and friends at the hospital, and at home I had alot. Too many and honestly, when DH and I have our next I will put more of a limit on the daily guests. It just tired me out. It was nice, people brought food and it was fun to show DD off to everyone, but was a bit draining...

katie277s

I was induced, so everyone knew I was going in.  It was only DH and I during the birth, but I had my mom, dad, brother, MIL, FIL, Aunt and AIL all in the hallway.  I didn't mind having them all there.  I actually felt bad for them because they had to stand in that hallway for what seemed like forever in the middle of the night. 

Vanessa11

With my first it was dh and I plus some friends of ours. My friend was a doula and was starting classes to become a midwife and my OB let her catch dd. Her husband was there and took some awesome pictures. My mom came the week after she was born for a week then my dad came the week after that for a week.

With ds it was just dh and I. everything happened so quickly we only had time to drop dd off with MIL. I wasn't able to call my family until after he was born. I would have called once I was sure that labor was started but by the time I was sure I was getting ready to push. My dad came out 2 days after ds was born and he stayed a week, then my aunt came for a few days after that.

 I love having my family and friends around and I enjoy having people there for the birth. For my 3rd baby I will likely have dh, mil, sil and a friend there for the birth, provided everyone makes it on time. I am sure my dad and maybe my mom will come for a week or so following the birth as well.

eclaires

Our feeling was we didn't mind people coming to the hospital, even coming to the room when I was in labor, as long as it was only MH and me when it came close to time.  We never got there, because I ended up w/ a c/s.

It worked out well for us, b/c our family seems to be pretty normal.  My MIL can be a bit overbearing, but her extreme prudishness and modesty keeps her from being too in my face about some things (which is GREAT).

As far as visitors once we had him - home or in the hospital - I loved visitors.  With the c/s I was in the hospital for 4 days, so I was bored out of my mind.  Also bored at home.  Loved visitors.

femmegem

I wanted only DH there for DS's birth and will only want him there if we have another. My mom is not helpful. She hovers and fawns but she's not practical. She'll drive me insane and she's overly sensitive so her feelings will end up hurt if I snap at her while I'm in labor and in pain. Everyone will end up stressed out and upset and that's the last thing I want. I had an emergency c-section the first time and will likely just have another anyway, so there's no really good reason to have other people around.

I loved having visitors. The more the merrier! 

SpartanGirl

It was just me and DH for both births.  Our family is out of state, so for DD's birth, we called everyone when I went into labor and no one made it here until the next day - which was fine with me!

My mom was here when DS was born (to take care of DD).  I wouldn't have minded having her in the room with us, but we had no one else to care for DD and I didn't think it would be fair to have her and not MIL - and there was NO WAY my MIL was going to be allowed in the room.

I liked having alone time with the kids before visitors showed up.  We asked that no one come to the hospital until we told them it was okay.  We didn't want a line forming outside our door while we were enjoying the first moments together.

heyitsme

I wanted it to be just DH and I for DD's birth, and it was. Both of our families are 3000+ miles away. The only thing I didn't like was DH's uncle and DH's best friend showed up (when DH was at school) to visit... it just felt awkward for me not having DH present (back then I didn't know them as well as I do now).

My parents didn't visit until DD was 2 months old. And it was REALLY good because by then we had our "home routine" established. Whenever we have #2 I think we'll wait at least 2 weeks before having visitors at home... I really enjoyed that time bonding as a family.  

PoundCake

DH was with me when I was pushing.  And then when i had to have the c-section, I had to be knocked out so they wouldn't let him in.  My mom, brother, sister and aunt were in the waiting room and would come in now and then while I was in labor and I didn't mind.

By the time I came out of the recovery area, it was 1 AM and everyone had gone home except DH.

The next night I had a roomful but really don't remember.  I think I didn't mind, but I remember wanting them to leave so I could sleep.  I was still hooked up to magnesium and felt so out of it.

I loved having family visit when we got home.  DH was only home with us for one night and then had to go back to work.  He was on nights so it was lonely.  I had really bad PPD so having people around did help.

hopefulmom

Only DH and myself each time.  My oldest DD wanted just her and her DH but as it was the doctor wanted another pair of hands so her DH came out and got me.  Her MIL was there too...but she stayed in the waiting room.  I stayed at her head helping to lift her shoulders and also giving words of encouragement.  I also told her to LOOK in the mirror which she didn't want to do.  Afterwards she said it really helped that she could see the progress she was making with each push.  Not sure if she'll want me in for the 2nd one or not...we'll see when the time comes.

hopefulmom

Forgot to mention...I loved having visitors at the hospital and at home.  I was in for 6 days with all of them (even the one natural delivery) so it was great.

SumnerBride

It was DH, my mom, and my two teenage sisters in the room when DD was born.  They were there for the whole thing.

I hate visitors-at the hospital, and at home.  I had a bad hospital experience, so when my IL's came to see Ashlyn the day she was born, I was in a piss poor mood, and wanted them out as soon as they showed up.

When I got home, the PPD was starting to set in, so I didn't want anyone coming over.  I didn't answer the phone either.

I hope it goes a little smoother this time around.