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TTC after 35
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feeling left behind

owlprofowlprof member
in TTC after 35

Does anyone else feel like the last person picked for a game of dodgeball?  Or that you are stuck on a merry-go-round and everyone else comes and goes, but you are stuck going around and around endlessly?

I am overjoyed for all of our alums who have moved on to PG 35+, and I am happy to see all the newcomers, but I am starting to get really bummed out for those of us who just can't seem to get a break. 

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Re: feeling left behind

  • KGS2003KGS2003 member
    Yes to all of it. I mostly hang out on TTCAL and there has been a big wave of BFPs over there too.  While I am happy for them it's hard to be left behind. 
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  • Roxie5739Roxie5739 member
    Oh, so true! I hang out on the IF board mostly, but asked to be part of this board and the IFV board as I need to get to know more people and sick of seeing everyone else move on (even though I am so happy for them, quite sincerely) - just hard while we are are all in this void....

    Multiple ectopics, 2 failed IVF's
    IVF #1: Did not get to ET, embies all failed PGD (major chromosomal defects)
    IVF #2: We have 2 chromosomally perfect embies as a result of PGD (Boy/Girl) 1 failed the thaw (Girl) Transferred 1, yet ended as a c/p
    Thought it was the end of our TTC Journey 6/20/2012
    SHOCK BFP 9/28/2012: IT'S A BOY! and everything is normal !!!!!!

    Little A born 38w 2d on 05/23/13 and is a true miracle for this IF Vet!
     

    image              

     


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  • happywifemomofonehappywifemomofone member
    Yep, some of us have been here way to long.  Many of the ladies that I was hoping to join on PG after 35 have now had their babies and moved on :-(  Never dreamed I'd still be here when I started this whole TTC journey.
    TTC since 10/09 Me-43 DH-44 RE and testing 10/10-11/10, Recommending IVF 1/11 New RE AMA and DOR-DH low motility IVF #1.1 cancelled 3/11 due to poor response IVF #1.2 May 2011, one perfect 8-cell embryo, 3dt-BFN, IVF #2.1 Converted to IUI d/t poor response. New RE 9/2011. IVF 2.2 completed using HGH,EPP,DHEA, Q-10 and accupuncture. Transferred one 8-cell, grade one embryo on 10/19. BFP 10/31/11 Chemical pregancy on 11/2/11. Started stims for IVF #3, our final try, on 12-2-11. ET on 12/18. Transferred 3 Grade A embryos-BFFN Planning DE IVF, late March/early April- Donors ER expected to be 4/2-4/4. PAIF/SAIF welcome
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  • ooglie26ooglie26

    I'm new here, but was going to post a little something on this tonight, from a different aspect. 

    So sorry you're feeling left behind.  Sending hugs your way.

     

    Me: 37 DH: 43 20+ years post-vasectomy and AMA PAIF / SAIF Welcome!
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  • brooklynesquebrooklynesque member
    I know what you mean.  I kind of feel like I'm stuck in purgatory.  ;-)
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  • owlprofowlprof member

    imagehappywifemomofone:
    Yep, some of us have been here way to long.  Many of the ladies that I was hoping to join on PG after 35 have now had their babies and moved on :-(  Never dreamed I'd still be here when I started this whole TTC journey.

    Exactly.

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  • winidpuwinidpu
    Yep. You said, sister! I am 1 one year this month on the bump and two years trying and am no closer. I feel cheated!
    TTC #1 since 2/10 Me 38 FSH 12.9 & AMH 0.16 DH 47, low sperm count due to meds. 07/11 We have sperm! 28 million, 70% motility, morphology 1% normal. 08/14/11 1st IUI unmedicated BFN. 09/11/11 2nd IUI w/ Femara + trigger BFN 10/14/11 trigger & Final IUI 10/16/11 BFN 10/21/11 Started acupuncture and loving it! 01/21 ET one embryo 6 cell grade C. Beta 02/02. BFN. Taking a much needed break. image
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  • Bubs711Bubs711
    I hear ya.  I started on the GP board on TN over a year ago, and just recently it seems like a whole bunch of women who had been on there when I started are now having their babies.  I'm happy for them, but I just want it to be my turn.
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  • Mrs.McIrishMrs.McIrish member

    imagebrooklynesque:
    I know what you mean.  I kind of feel like I'm stuck in purgatory.  ;-)

    I think it is actually hell and I'm never getting out..

    TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46
    DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
    5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
    OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
    DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
    DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
    CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE
    DE IVF #3 1/14  ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d

    DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!!
    First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!

    K & K born 11/21/14 at 38wks 4 days

    imageimage

    SAIF/PAIF Welcome


    http://waitingforraintostop.wordpress.com

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  • 10-4LilBuddy10-4LilBuddy member
    I hear ya.  I felt the same way when everyone else got married before me.  I felt like an unmatched sock, but I now know that he was worth the wait.  This kid / these kids should be too (kid better be a Nobel prize winner...)
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  • annaliselannalisel member

    image10-4LilBuddy:
    I hear ya.  I felt the same way when everyone else got married before me.  I felt like an unmatched sock, but I now know that he was worth the wait.  This kid / these kids should be too (kid better be a Nobel prize winner...)

    Me too about the marriage part. And being in graduate school for so long. I've gotten pretty used to the left behind feeling by now. 

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  • annaliselannalisel member

    I sympathize. I feel this way about several things in my life. The differences in family structure, income, general lifestyle has created distance between some of my friends.

    I suspect I won't care in the long run, if, in the end, we get to have the family we long for.  

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  • FaithfullyinloveFaithfullyinlove
    I feel ya....even thou I new....Good luck to all of us!!!
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  • Maybe JoleisaMaybe Joleisa member
    I'm happy when I see a TTC >35 or 3T gal conceive on these boards, as it gives me hope! What hurts more for me is seeing my friends IRL get pregnant rather quickly doing it the conventional way and not having to spend $$,$$$ to get their baby. I'm still happy for them, but it makes me have the sadz for myself and our situation.

    image
    TTC since 10/2010
    IUIs # 1-5 = BFFN
    IVF # 1(July 2012) = BFN
    IVF # 2 (November 2012) = BFP (MIssed MC D&C @ 8w3d on 1/10/13)
    IVF # 3 (June 2013) = BFN 
    IVF # 4 (September 2013) = BFP Fraternal twin boys! (Loss at 21w6d due to IC on 1/26/14...devastated.)
    3/21/14--TAC (transabdominal cerclage) w/Dr. Davis in NJ
    IVF # 5 (May 2014) = BFN
    FET (August 2014) = BFN

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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  • MrsNukemMrsNukem member

    imageMaybe Joleisa:
    I'm happy when I see a TTC >35 or 3T gal conceive on these boards, as it gives me hope! What hurts more for me is seeing my friends IRL get pregnant rather quickly doing it the conventional way and not having to spend $$,$$$ to get their baby. I'm still happy for them, but it makes me have the sadz for myself and our situation.

    That and they really don't understand IF or loss.  When I had my miscarriage, I had a friend (who has 2 kids of her own) say to me "At least you can get pregnant".  Um, yeah, thanks for that pep talk.

    Me:40 AMA, DH:36 0% morph, TTC#1;
    BFP#1 4/2011, MMC 6/2011 11wks Trisomy 13;
    BFP#2 11/2011, CP
    FSH: 17.9, AMH: 2.2
    IVF#1 w/ICSI: ER 4/3: 5R,4M,4F
    ET 4/6 All 4 (1-8A+, 2-8A-, 1-3A) BFP#3
    Two weeks of beta hell = Blighted Ovum
    IVF#2 Aug/Sept: ER 8/27: 4R,3M,3F
    ET 8/30 (1-8A+, 1-6A+)
    Beta#1 9/10: 350; Beta#2 9/12: 796; Beta#3 9/20: 9155
    Expecting Boy/Girl Twins! My babies were born 4/23/13 at 36w1d!

     
     

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  • XV11StarXV11Star member
    Completely agree with all PPs.  It's seriously depressing.  :(
    <a href="http://s164.photobucket.com/albums/u17/SossityG/?action=view
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  • MelleTXMelleTX member
    imageMrs.McIrish:

    imagebrooklynesque:
    I know what you mean.  I kind of feel like I'm stuck in purgatory.  ;-)

    I think it is actually hell and I'm never getting out..

    This. 

    Single Mother by Choice. Life didn't work out the way I planned so I did it on my own. IUI #s 1-3, unmedicated = BFN, IUI #s 4-6, 50mg Clomid, Ovidrel = BFN IVF #1: 23R, 20M, 17F. 5 day transfer 2 blasts. 2 Snowbabies BFP 6dp5dt, Beta #1 7dp5dt = 58, Beta #2 9dp5dt = 114, Beta #3 10dp5dt = 187 1st Ultrasound = 5/3, not much to see yet. 2nd Ultrasound = 5/17, TWINS!!! Hospital Bed Rest at 32 weeks due to pre-ecclampsia and severe edema. Audrey Grace, 5lbs9oz, & Lydia Louise, 6lbs, born via emergency c-section on 12/6/12 at 36w1d My IVF Journey
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  • Nita14701Nita14701 member
    I can totally relate. Feel like I spent so much of my adult life in grad school. Spent my 20's and my early 30's in the crazy dating world trying to meet that special someone. Most of my friends married people they met in college and aready have a couple of kids. So now their kids are starting to go to school and DH and I are TTC. I feel like everything is a struggle... nothing comes quickly or easily. I guess the grass is always greener on the other side...
    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers image
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  • mtlaurelmtlaurel
    Yup. Last month I went back and realized that I'm about 14 months on this board, and lately, I recognize fewer names here than not. Similar things happening on the IFV board for me, so that I sometimes feel like I don't even fit in on an IF board anymore.
    TTC #1 since June 2010
    Me: 36, DH: 42
    Dx: DOR and MFI

    DH: low count + very low motility; hormones all normal; Sperm DNA Frag. test = poor to fair; male karyotyping normal
    Me: FSH 13.4 + AMH 0.26 + hypothyroidism; Scratch the hypothyrodism (?); Blood clotting and immune panel all negative; endometrial biopsy normal

    IVF #1 (MDLF - Jul/Aug 2011): BFN (9R, 5M, 3F with ICSI, 3dt of 1 10-cell grade 2, no frosties)
    IVF #2 (EP-antagonist - Sep/Oct 2011): BFN (6R, 4M, 3F w/ ICSI, 3dt of 1 6-cell, 1 7-cell, grade 4s, no frosties)
    DE IVF #1 (shared cycle - June 2012): c/p (6R, 6F w/ICSI, 3dt 1 8-cell grade A- and 1 7-cell grade A-; no frosties)
    DE IVF #2 (shared cycle with new donor - Nov/Dec/ 2012): - BFP!!!!! 12/14/12. U/S on 12/27 shows twins!!!!!

    SAIFW/PAIFW
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  • BAKERMOMHDSBAKERMOMHDS member

    I feel like this everyday.. then I start to feel like a bad person because I feel this way.  I WANT to be happy for all the BFP's...but, when all your friends, family have had 2..3...babies since you started the journey..it really, really SUCKS.

    *Big Sigh*  another day....

    Me = 39 DH = 50 TTC (since 01/2009 after a short break, I stopped counting *cycles* in 2010)
    DX 2010 : Unknown Infertility , AMA
    HSG 2005 = Normal / HSG 2010 = Normal
    SA 2005 = Normal / SA 2010 /2012 = Slightly low count : motility, morphology GREAT!
    Chromosomal analysis, MTHFR, ANA's, Lupus, Protein C, Protein S, APCR = Normal 2011

    M/C : 2005 (7wk), 2010 (6wk), 2011 (7wk)

    8 IUI's 2010-2011 all BFN

    IVF/ICSI antagonist 01/2012 #1 = BFN

    IVF/ICSI antagonist long 06/2012 #2 = BFN

    IVF/ICSI/CGH MDLF New Clinic/New RE 11/2012 #3 = One beautiful boy blasty frozen PGS normal

    IVF/ICSI/CGH MDLF 02/2013 #4 = One more beautiful boy blasty frozen PGS normal

    FET 6/20 : One 5AA PGS normal transferred Beta 1 6/28 = 53.9 / Beta 2 7/1 = 220 / Beta 3 7/3 = 550!

    1 U/S  6w3d - Heartbeat 119 /  2 U/S - 7w5d- Heartbeat 169 / 3 U/S (OB) 8w5d - Heartbeat still great!

    Baby G welcomed into the world 3/7/2014

    SAIF / PAIF always welcome ****

     

    image

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  • Mrs.McIrishMrs.McIrish member

    imagemtlaurel:
    Yup. Last month I went back and realized that I'm about 14 months on this board, and lately, I recognize fewer names here than not. Similar things happening on the IFV board for me, so that I sometimes feel like I don't even fit in on an IF board anymore.

    I was trying to think the other day of who is still here that I started with in Oct 10.  I think Melle was here with me and then you came along. I can't think of anyone else left?

    TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46
    DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
    5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
    OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
    DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
    DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
    CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE
    DE IVF #3 1/14  ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d

    DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!!
    First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!

    K & K born 11/21/14 at 38wks 4 days

    imageimage

    SAIF/PAIF Welcome


    http://waitingforraintostop.wordpress.com

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  • mtlaurelmtlaurel
    I think Solarflare came along shortly after me, but I can't think of anyone else.Sad
    TTC #1 since June 2010
    Me: 36, DH: 42
    Dx: DOR and MFI

    DH: low count + very low motility; hormones all normal; Sperm DNA Frag. test = poor to fair; male karyotyping normal
    Me: FSH 13.4 + AMH 0.26 + hypothyroidism; Scratch the hypothyrodism (?); Blood clotting and immune panel all negative; endometrial biopsy normal

    IVF #1 (MDLF - Jul/Aug 2011): BFN (9R, 5M, 3F with ICSI, 3dt of 1 10-cell grade 2, no frosties)
    IVF #2 (EP-antagonist - Sep/Oct 2011): BFN (6R, 4M, 3F w/ ICSI, 3dt of 1 6-cell, 1 7-cell, grade 4s, no frosties)
    DE IVF #1 (shared cycle - June 2012): c/p (6R, 6F w/ICSI, 3dt 1 8-cell grade A- and 1 7-cell grade A-; no frosties)
    DE IVF #2 (shared cycle with new donor - Nov/Dec/ 2012): - BFP!!!!! 12/14/12. U/S on 12/27 shows twins!!!!!

    SAIFW/PAIFW
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  • Country Girl in the CityCountry Girl in the City
    imageannalisel:

    image10-4LilBuddy:
    I hear ya.  I felt the same way when everyone else got married before me.  I felt like an unmatched sock, but I now know that he was worth the wait.  This kid / these kids should be too (kid better be a Nobel prize winner...)

    Me too about the marriage part. And being in graduate school for so long. I've gotten pretty used to the left behind feeling by now. 

    I was the first of my friends to get married.  My sister met her husband the same day I met DH.  They have a 13 year old and I keep getting lapped by friends and family.  I have had my share of not fair moments.

    BFP on IVF #2 6/29/2012. Beta #1 7/3 = 522; Beta #2 = 1180; Beta #3 = 6491 image BabyFruit Ticker
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  • versace1008versace1008
    yes, tahts the story of my life! sucks!
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  • BeckyP005BeckyP005 member
    Sucks big time. Keep thinking when I was trying with ex husband like 10 years ago if we never got divorced how many rugrats I would have running around the house  now :(  Then again maybe not that many since I started to go to a fertility clinic back then also. Sigh...hang in there.

    ME:46 MH:44 DE IVF 2014
    Met with RE 4/11. 2 IUI's BFN. DE best option. Switched clinics to do "shared" program. Had to retake all tests and a mamm that put me behind and then on a DE waiting list for 12 months. Picked a donor!! (10/13/13) Got matched. Estimated transfer in December. After 2.5 years of patiently waiting I will finally cycle....can hardly believe it. DE cycle got cancelled. One of her tests came back positive.  Waiting for another donor. Donor picked!! (1/18/14)

    DE IVF #1 (4/26) BFN  DE FET #1 (6/4) BFP! Beta 1=339 Beta 2=852 Beta 3=9957 EDD 2/22/15!!


     

     

         imageimage 
         image   imageimage



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  • LlamamamaLlamamama member
    Yes I feel the same way.. SUPER happy for those who move on to PG35 but wishing I could tag a long...
    Me: 40 Dh: 41, TTC since August 2009, began Acupuncture and Herbs Sept 2011, began Temping and Charting Nov 2011. image
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  • skidoogrrlskidoogrrl member

    Although I am very happy for everyone that has gone on...I totally feel the same way...not only on the bump but everyone around me is pregnant! We just have to stay positive! Good luck everyone 

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  • alibee09alibee09 member
    I know I'm a newbie, but I wanted to give you guys hugs and support for all that you're going through.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    the secret blog

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