Facebook??

sept14

We found out yesterday that we lost our soon over the weekend.  I have shared with family and close friends, but I am trying to figure out how to share with everyone else.  I kinda feel since we had announced that we were pregnant on FB as well as the fact it was a boy... that we should also share about our loss on there.

Did anyone else do this?  What did you say?

Bread09

I am so very sorry for your loss. 

We were very public with our infertility, pregnancy, and loss.

We had posted that we had the babies and then followed up with this the following day when one of the twins died:

Thanks for all the well wishes for the twins. Sadly Baby Hannah was born with a lot of complications and passed away peacefully this evening. She fought an amazing fight and proved a lot of doctors wrong. Brother Nathan is doing great and we are extremely grateful. Thank you again for your support.

foxxy1

I'm so sorry for your loss. Did you name your son?

When I lost Ethan, I posted a very brief story about what happened (I mentioned I went into labor and gave birth but that was the end of it) and how our son is in heaven now. I also told everyone I was taking a break from Facebook to recoupe and if anyone wanted to reach me they could call or e-mail. I received an incredible outpouring of support and even had a few friends share their personal stories of loss with me privately.

I hate to welcome you here but you're among friends. The ladies here are wonderful and are just full of so much encouragement and understanding. They all have really helped me out tremendously since I first joined.

fluttergirlmoonchild79

After we told our family and close friends we lost our son, my DH and I both posted something on FB stating Corbin had passed and we were devastated and asked for prayers and some time to deal so that we didn't get bombarded with phone calls and text messages.

magdalina.h

I'm so sorry for your loss. I was/am very open and FB knew I was pregnant, knew he was a boy, knew he was born, knew he had a devastating bleed and knew he passed. That being said, even 2 years later (as I'm still very open on my emotions) I have people ask how he is...

I'm so sorry for the loss of your son.

Heatherhah

I did a very short birth story since I was actually scheduled to have my c/s 3 days later and explained the situation that my DD was still born and an angel.I was very public the whole pregnancy so I wanted friends and family that didn't see me everyday to know that she had passed.  So sorry for your loss.

roxyttandme

I am so sorry for your loss. My DH wrote and posted this in the note section of fb. 

 Russell  and his wife Elizabeth are deeply saddened to share our recent news with you ? our friends and extended family. 

In our lives? occasions come that rock us to our core, that defy reason, that question our beliefs, that challenge our sense of right and wrong, that confront our compassion, that tender our souls, and test our endurance? 


Family and friends, that time is upon us. 


Please keep us in your thoughts as these days pass. Those inclined to prayer; please pray for us. 


On May 2nd of this year, we shared with our closest of friends and family a very special day ? when we were joined for life in the joy of marriage. The celebration was beautiful ? the enduring love was immeasurable. And those in attendance were the first to hear of our good fortune ? that we were blessed with pregnancy. 

Over the past many months we have dreamed of our little girl; talked hours upon hours of our hopes for her. We spent countless hours preparing for her, choosing just the right name, just the right necessities, choosing special luxuries for her comfort, just the right educational tools, just the right home to bring her into. 

Through Ultrasound, we were tickled and excited to see her miraculously formed being ? her perfectly formed fingers, her beautifully shaped face, her carefully developing body. She was our very own miracle ? our greatest gift. 


A couple days short of 24 weeks of pregnancy, still inside the womb, the heart of our young daughter stopped. 


On Thursday of this past week, at 12:17 just afternoon, the doctors informed us of her suffering. Pastor David, who wed us, was there to give blessing and release her soul to the hands of God. 

On Friday, at 9:40 at night, just 12 ? inches long and one pound, seven ounces, her body was delivered. Her spirit, her love, her innocence, and her soul expedited a delivery with few complications. We were honored to parent her, to care for her, to hold her and have her ? for a few precious hours. 


Our sweet daughter, Haleigh Mae is safe and sound in heaven now; one of the innocent children of this world. She never did anything wrong; she never drew with crayons on the wall, she never threw a tantrum, she never lied to mom about something she did, she never crossed the street without looking each way, she never cheated on a math test, she never stole candy from the grocery store, she never broke a young boy?s heart, she never snuck out for a Halloween party, she never had an accident with Daddy?s car. She always brought smiles and laughter ? even in just the pure hopes of our future with her. 


Elizabeth?s Grandfather, Harry Leigh, for whom she is named and her first name derived, is with her. He is there to hold her, to look after her, to shelter her and care for her like we were never allowed. 

Russell?s Grandfather is there too, to take her out for ice cream in his boat, to comb her hair, and tickle her to sleep. 

Together our grandfathers hold her hands, with her feet spanned across theirs, each resting on the top of a grandfather?s foot, they teach her to dance, to twirl, to enjoy the peace of a quiet sunset on the lake and the sunbeams of each new and beautiful day. 


A five year old child, a close family friend, may have explained it best to all of us. 

Quite simply, ?God wanted her first.? 


Haleigh will never be forgotten. She will always be yearned for. She will remain perfect in our minds and in our dreams. 


And even as her God given heart has failed her, our enduring and loving hearts never will. 


We love you, dear Haleigh, and can?t wait to be reunited with you someday. 

Thank you deeply and sincerely for your support in this grieving time. Elizabeth has also posted a few words ? please visit her page for her expression of this tragedy.  

Petunia844

I'm so sorry for your loss, I posted something along the lines of:

"Peyton Mark ****** was born on October 25th, 2011.  Even though we never got to meet our little angel when he was alive he changed our lives in more ways than we will ever know.  Cherish the ones that you love."

careyalis

I posted a note to fb explaining Avery's condition when I was about 24 weeks along. We had known for about a month and a half and I had been very hesitant to do it because I felt like she was (and still is) worth so much more than a "status update.". However, in the world we live in, it is the only way to reach a mass audience. I felt a huge sense of relief in sharing my daughter's story and I think our friends appreciated the opportunity to experience it along side us. After I delivered Avery this past Thursday at 31 weeks, I posted this status:

 

 Our beautiful daughter Avery Alis Ogburn was born this morning at 9:51 am. She was perfect in every way. She cried squeaky little cries and opened her beautiful blue eyes. She had a  full head of curly brown hair and weighed in at 3 lbs 13.3 ounces.  Our little miracle lived for a little over an hour before she passed peacefully from our arms into the loving arms of God. Her legacy will live on forever and she will never be forgotten. Rest in peace until we meet again my beautiful sweet angel. Your daddy and I love you so, so very much!

 

My husband posted this to his page:  

Many thanks for all the prayers and messages you have sent Carey and I during this difficult time. I can honestly say that even though the grieving is so tough, the time I got to share holding my beautiful Avery was the best moment of my life. She was so strong and beautiful and made us all proud. We will now have the cutest little angel watching over us forever. 

olp79

I only removed my pics and deactivated my account 2 weeks after that, my closest friends already know and I'm pretty sure everyone else will find out eventually. I am planning to go on fb soon but will have all comments come to me and not be public.

nuttycoconut

Yes, since I had already announced my pregnancy at 13 weeks and the sexes of the babies at 18 weeks, I felt as though I had to announce their birth/death as well. I wrote something like:

On December 8 our beautiful babies Max Joseph and Molly Juliet were born and became angels. They were just over a pound each and too little to stay with us. Max looks just like his daddy and Molly looks just like me. Our beautiful babies are with my grandfather in heaven, as today is his birthday too. Please keep us in your prayers. Thanks. 

We received so much support and many kind messages and I am so happy that I wrote about what happened because it made it easier on us since we didn't have to keep rehashing everything. We had some people open up about the same thing happening to them, and received flowers, texts, dinners, gifts, visits (when we were ready), etc. and we were so grateful for all of the support. My friend who lost her little girl two years ago didn't post anything about it and couldn't go on FB for over a year since people kept asking about her baby. I just saw her a few weeks ago at a Superbowl party and she said that she wishes she posted it on FB once she saw how great everyone was on there. I'm so sorry for your loss. 

hewinked

I am also very open about my loss.  My son was 2 months old when he died, and I wrote on FB, "There are no words.  Rest in peace Adam James.  11.13.10-1.11.11"  I also shared the link to my blog if anyone wanted to know more.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

cherrycobbler

We did not make a pregnancy announcement on Facebook, but everyone knew we were having a baby, so my husband posted this on Facebook, just so people would have a heads up. We wanted to avoid as much awkwardness with people asking 'when is the baby due', 'did you have the baby' and such

My friends, Robin Reed *** was born 8/23/11, a wee and beautiful boy. As was suspected and feared, he had a rare genetic disorder called Trisomy 13, and he died peacefully in my arms the day before yesterday, his mother close by. The six days we spent with him were a true gift, and we are so thankful for him, and thankful that he is now at peace. Thank you all so much for all the love and support, and here's to Robin.

We were not ashamed of what happened, we had the proud parent feeling.  Even though it was not the outcome we wanted we thought the truth was better than to let anyone speculate over what happened.  Of course whatever option you do is the right one for you.  I'm so sorry for the loss of your son and much love and hugs to you and your family.

pb127

I am so sorry for the passing of your son. ((hugs))

I had a later loss, so I posted one of his NILMDTS pictures and some details. Maybe you could just post that your son was born and passed on X date and that he is very much missed and very much loved.

I'm sorry I'm not much help, I hate that we have to do this.

weddedwife

I'm so very sorry for your loss.

 

I too felt like we needed to say something on fb because we had announced the pregnancy there. I couldn't deal w/ people coming to me months later and asking about the baby. We said,

"Sometimes facebook is the least painful way to share terrible news. On Wednesday night, John & I lost our baby, a son, who was born still. We ask that you respect our wishes to grieve privately; we do not wish to be contacted at this time."

I just wanted to create a little space around us for a bit. In hindsight, the part about giving us privacy was a mistake. People kept away and have stayed away I think partially because of this.

frogs007

When we found out about Porter we knew he wouldn't survive.  Announcing that I was having twins (we didn't know until 20 weeks that it was twins) but that one of them was going to die was hard, but I just explained it as simply as I could.  I think I said that twin B (Porter) had major health problems that wouldn't allow him to survive but we were hopeful that Twin A (Isaac) would be ok.  When Isaac also passed and both babies were born I wrote, "Yesterday I had an emergency C-Section because they couldn't find a heartbeat for twin A. Unfortunatly they weren't able to resuscitate him. We were able to spend time with both of our beautiful perfect boys and then we had to say goodbye. We named them Isaac Stanton Palmer (twin a) and Porter Carlson Palmer (twin b). They are both beautiful and perfect. We are planning on burying them next week as soon as I'm recovered enough to do so. I'm so grateful for the plan of salvation and the knowledge that I will be able to raise my sweet boys someday. I'm also grateful for the wonderful support and love we are receiving. We have the best families and friends we could possibly have. I'm also grateful for my sweet Jacob for giving me my perfect angel boys."  I was able to sound way more optimistic in writing than in person, but I was also completely numb at the time.  Share what you feel comfortable sharing.  GL I hope people respond kindly.  Hugs Mama.