Feeling a bit overwhelmed

futuremrsruta

This morning I found out that I am pregnant with baby #2 and our first is only 9 months old. The range of emotions is vast. Shock. Scared. Guilty. Upset. Ideally we wanted a bit of a bigger age gap but sometimes life has other plans. My biggest emotion right now is the guilt I am feeling over the fact that my little guy won't be my one and only for as long as I wanted him to be. I feel terrible about this. Then I immediately feel terrible for starting off a pregnancy not feeling complete joy and excitement. I'm hoping for some guidance and kind words that everything will turn out ok (of course I know that it will) and any words of advice reasons why this actually might be a good thing.  Thanks!

NikiBaby

I found out I was pregnant with #2 when DD was 8 months old.  They will only be about 16 months apart and I felt the same way you did!  I still have a few months to go before DS is born but I think I've had the time at least to mentally prepare myself for how life will change!  From what others have told me is that it will be difficult and very busy for the first while but it gets easier as they get older.  I am now completely over being upset about it and am very excited to have #2!  Just give yourself time you will come to grips with it and it will be possible.  Many people have their children this close together on purpose )  Good luck!!

winminpin08

I feel the exact same way as well.  I just found out yesterday that I am expecting again.  I still lurk on the July 2011 and 6-9 month boards I wasn't expecting to be lurking on the Nov 2012 board, too!  Honestly, reading through the posts on this board have really helped me start to come to grips with this.  As the pp said, lots of people plan it this way, so I know I can handle it.  Its just that the shock hasn't worn off yet!  (although, how shocked can I really be when I can pinpoint the exact night we made the fateful decision that led us to this point).  It just wasn't our "plan" but sometimes plans change and we all adjust.  That's what I keep telling myself, anyway.

baby_mama88

It was a couple of hectic months in the begining and I did cry the last time I saw DD1 before DD2 was born, but now it is a dream. They play so well together.

 Try not to think of it as not having more time with just your son, but time to give your son a sibling. He will never remember not having a sibling and will always have a playmate. He is young enough to be more flexible than a 3 or 4 year old would be with a new sibling. You will be able to look at your son in a new way: as a big brother. It will also give you opportunity to have him be your big helper boy.

And you wont have firstborn syndrom anymore...you wont be fussing over every little detail like you might have done with your DS. (I know I did.)

It really will be ok. And even better.

I can't stop myself from smiling when they make eachother laugh. Precious moments indeed.

hecallsmecat

I found out I was pregnant again when DD was 3 months old! We weren't really trying but not preventing either. It came a little sooner than expected and I went through a lot of guilt emotions at first too. Now that I'm 5 months along I am getting really excited for DD to have a little playmate. I know it might be crazy and hectic at first, but I figure that I am giving my children friends for life (hopefully!). I have cousins who are 11 months apart and they went through a period of fighting like cats and dogs when they were little, but are best friends as adults and do everything together. One of them had her own kids 14 months apart and they are as close as siblings could be. I think it will be a great thing, just give yourself time to get used to it.

I felt guilty at first too for not really "connecting" with the new baby the way I felt I did when pregnant with DD. In fact, I was so concentrated on taking care of her that I swear I forgot that I was pregnant a few times. But I feel connected to this baby now (feeling kicks and seeing u/s) and I can't wait until it is born. You will get there too. Give it time.

Congratualtions!

babyhunbun7

I'm in the same boat. My son will be 18 months when the new baby comes. I go through some of the same feelings. One minute I'm excited then the next I'm panicked.  Overall I think not will be great for them to be close in age. They will be great playmates. My son has no cousins and won't so it's going to give him someone to play with and bond with. 

Mrs.M317

I can totally relate to your emotions. I felt the same way at first, mine are 13 months apart.

Honestly, it's difficult but I wouldn't change anything.  My oldest had jealousy for maybe 2 weeks and now he just gets it.  Can't remember a time without her.  Again, it's difficult but I felt my second was easier because i was a more confident mother and I had just gone through it all.  I was second nature.

Also, we have a great support system of family and friends.  I am not someone who likes to ask for help, but I learned quickly that I needed to ask for help.  Even just to get through the pregnany when I was sick or tired.  

Good luck! 

futuremrsruta

Thank you to everyone who responded to my panic post. It honestly does make me feel a lot better to know that there are plenty of other families with siblings this close in age (whether it was planned or a surprise). With almost a week behind us since finding out our news I am feeling a lot better about everything. Communities like this are a great reminder that you are not alone. Thanks again!