First post

Ecsims

Our little girl will be a year old March 24. I am getting ready to plan her party soon, shes getting ready to really start walking and I'm sad. She is our last baby and this also makes me sad. We have a 12yr old and a 6 yr old son and knew that we weren't going to have any more. But I'm very sad and almost regret that we won't be able to have any more. When does the desire to have a baby go away? Or will it ever? She's a pretty good baby and very nurturing. She would have been a great big sister...

mrsjune25th

I don't want to tell you how to feel but being sad when you have a healthy child celebrating a milestone is a little selfish. Celebrate your daughter enjoy the milestone and celebrate the stage you are in as a parent.

srs5624

mrsjune25th:

I don't want to tell you how to feel but being sad when you have a healthy child celebrating a milestone is a little selfish. Celebrate your daughter enjoy the milestone and celebrate the stage you are in as a parent.

Really? Did you seriously just pull the "you have a healthy child so just be grateful for that" card?

 

We're one and done and I'm happy about that, so I can't commisserate with her but I have enough compassion to realize that the first birthday of your last child is bittersweet if you want more children.

It's assinine to tell her her feelings are invalid just because she has a healthy child having a birthday. I'm sure she's not going to make a scene at her daughter's birthday by crying in the corner and cursing at her husband because they can't/won't have any more children.

Ecsims

Wow, what a way to kick someone when they're feeling down by judging them solely on one comment. I was under the impression this was a place where feelings could be expressed. Should I have stated that the reason my children are so far apart in age was not a choice but because we lost three pregnancy, one at 20 weeks. Would that have made it more "acceptable" to feel sad that the first year of my daughters life went by so quickly? Sheesh..

skio

mrsjune25th:

I don't want to tell you how to feel but being sad when you have a healthy child celebrating a milestone is a little selfish. Celebrate your daughter enjoy the milestone and celebrate the stage you are in as a parent.

Woah. Cripes.

I think if you DON'T get sad watching your baby grow up, you're a heartless demon. lol. Not really, but there's certainly nothing wrong with it.

I agree with pp's...it's not selfish to be sad that your baby is growing up, especially if it's your last one. I'm sure OP isn't locked in a closet wallowing in her sorrows over not being able to have more babies. Being sad that your baby is growing up is PART of celebrating the milestone, IMO. It's a happy-sad.

I can't speak for anyone else, but being a mother completed me, and my little girl is my heart and soul and I can't even begin to describe how much I love her. I have teared up like a child EVERY time I put away clothes that she has outgrown. It's happy tears. It's tears of utter joy and disbelief that this amazing, beautiful little person is mine and is growing up happy and healthy. It makes me want to have babies forever, and I know I'll be sad when we decide we're done.

srs5624

Huh. And here I thought I was going to get flamed for telling mrsjune that she's being ridiculous.

Good to know.