MIL Question

HeatherK524

Ok, so DH and I are first time parents, so naturally both of us ask our moms questions about our son. My questions is, did anyone else have a problem with MIL's giving different advice about "what to do" or "do this" or "do it like this..." and did it start an argument or disagreement between you and your SO?

DH and I have this problem all the time! Of course I love getting advice to moms that have been through the same things, and appreciate it alot, but not when it causes tension between DH and I

He of course wants to do what his mom says, and I want to do things like my mother says. I am very strong in my ways, and don't depend on everything someone says, because obviously I want to raise my son the way I want. It just seems like every time they have different advice on the same situation it causes a problem between us.

Anyone else have a problem similar to this?

aveeh

Definitely!  I think its pretty normal, everyone was raised differently and we all turned out alright though!  Just try to focus on what the two of you want to do as parents, its okay to not agree with either of them. 

ps. last night I brought up to DH that my MIL does patty cake wrong and he got SUPER defensive!  I mean honestly who doesn't say "roll it, and pat it, and mark it with a ()"?  Instead she just says "roll em and roll em"  Weird!

northerngirl11

We did a lot in the beginning, and I am still overly annoyed of her when she's around and doing things but I learnt the hard way during one fight how mean I was really sounding and how SO just wanted to help make things better which was why he always wanted to do things his moms way because he has no experience. I'm the SAHM so I just bit my tongue and did what worked for us and sooner than later SO realized that Cole was our son to raise, and when there were things we weren't sure of we got books so that it was the only method we were using and both understood it. I hope your situation clears up, sounds like you and DH need a good date night!

linzica

Yes and yes. I think it's natural to want to raise your kids the way you were raised but I think the way to get along is to raise your kid the way you and you H raise your kid. It's fine to ask for advice but take it with a grain of salt. Do you're own research and base the majority of your child rearing decision on that and when you do run into a difference talk about it as "what works for us" instead of "what worked for my mom"

HeatherK524

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love my MIL, but sometimes I just don't wanna take her freakin advice! But DH is SOOO set on doing it the way his mom says, it's like "If she says it, it must be right" and it's irritating!

DH is not confrontational at ALL, he absolutely hates to argue or fight, but I just want him to understand that this is our child, and we need to raise him the way WE want to, not the way our moms say we should