CP: parents v. ILs

molRN

I'm curious to know and hear your answers and reasonings![Poll]

mamacrunch

Neither!
I love my granny though. We are tight. She even took me to my first bar.

damabo80

My ILs have only seen DD for a total of 3 days since she's been born (they don't travel and live in CA).

My parents have been with DD lots more. They also live in CA, but they travel to see us.

So, just because of that, I'd say my parents. But, if MIL was around DD more, then it would be equal.

tew213

SS- FIL watches DD while we are at work - so we obviously feel comfortable with him (and MIL just the same). My mom lives about 14 hours away. She has been here twice since DDs been. I feel just as comfortable with her but she is not around DD as much to know her as well.

itsmegin

I love my ILs but sometimes they make me uncomfortable, they are very judgy and pretty much disagree with all our parenting choices because it's not what they did. MIL is the sole breadwinner and said to us before we had kids that my SIL wasted her college degree by being a SAHM, so I know she feels the same about me though she won't say it to my face. They even argued with us about CDing. Really? Why should anyone care if we CD? I dread them finding out we aren't vaccinating because I know they'll flip out. The good thing about both my parents and ILs is that they're really pro BFing and did themselves so they're cool with me BFing in front if them, and they all love DD and while they may disagree they'd never go behind our backs and do anything we didn't want them to.

authorofdreamz

I voted SS because I am completely comfortable with both my Future IL's and my mom however not my step-dad as much and my dad/step-mom lives far and has only even seen DD once. I would probably also be comfortable with him and my step-mom but they'll probably never have DD alone because of the distance.

mundayem

I did SS because I feel comfortable with both my ILs and my parents with LO. Everyone lives close by so they all spend plenty of time with him. But they also respect my choices as his mother and don't argue about anything we decide for him. I know they will take good care of them and that they will do it the way we want them to. 

molRN

Ok, I'm an air head...totally forgot to put "both" as an option. 

I'm definitely more comfortable with my parents. I just am not that comfortable with them in general and that carries over into how I feel about them with DD. 

jenniann87

My Mom and Dad watch DS while I am at work. They see him 3-4 times a week and are just amazing with him. So I totally feel more than comfortable leaving LO with them. Where as my ILs, let see, DHs Dad and Stepmom have seen DS twice since he has been born, once at the hospital (and that was only FIL) and once at BILs wedding. But that is how they have always been, very distant with all the grandkids. So with that said they will never be left alone with DS or any future LOs, not because I dont trust them but bc they dont know him well enough. Now DHs Mom and Stepdad see LO a few times a month and are currently taking care of SILs 2yo twins. If that situation were to ever change and SIL gets them back I might allow them to keep LO. But until then it will only be my parents and brothers watching DS.

lauralew

I think both equally, though my mom smokes and that is a point of contention between us. She does not smoke inside/around my babies, but she will go outside while at our house to smoke. Ultimately I would trust my sister the most because she has two children and would follow what I wanted without interjecting her own opinions.

magdalina.h

My ILs watch him every day so they know him better.

biddy53178

I'm so glad my MIL wasn't here last week- she was supposed to come down and see us but couldn't because of a leg issue so my mom stayed with me instead and is SO much more helpful- almost to an annoying point

TeacherVicky

I voted my parents. DH feels the same.

MIL is incredibly annoying when it comes to our son. She hovers and doesn't leave him alone. She is always telling us that she disagrees with the choices we make and "this is what I did when you guys were babies" (she has 4 kids and works with kids, so I guess she thinks she knows it all). She has even said to us "Well I'll do it when I'm babysitting then" when we say we do things a certain way and she disagrees and tells us to do it another way. She has been bugging us to start him on cereal since he was 3m old! She would be the type to just feed it to him while we're not around. So no, we are not 100% keen on letting her babysit very often. She has no respect for the way we do things... I guess she just doesn't respect us.

flutepharm87

DH's grandparents. DH's grandmother watches the boys during the week while we work and I go to class and I trust her completely. She's so good with them and they adore her. My parents and DH's parents are pretty much strangers to the boys since they're not around very much. They're so wrapped up in their own lives and very rarely make time to see them. We try to make plans with them so the boys can see them, but they're always so busy or they cancel at the last minute. My mom is old and lazy and DH's mom is younger and not ready to be a grandma.

HElizabethDU

It isn't that I am so much uncomfortable with ILs, it is just they have only seen her twice so far in her life, so I don't think that she would be all that willing.  They live out of state so it is hard.

Fififa21

I feel completely comfortable with my own parents and with my MIL but not so much with my FIL. He hasnt really been around Luke much and doesnt really have any baby experience (he wasnt around when his 3 boys were babies). Living here in Mexico, my MIL is the only help I have and I would be lost without her, so I am def. comfortable with her. And of course my parents rock :-)

camdenfaithful

For sure my parents.  DH would agree. My mom and dad have really been the only people to watch DD. I'm close enough to them to they know how I like things done and I also wouldn't be afraid to speak up if they were doing something I wasn't ok with. 

I don't even like when MIL holds DD so it would be a cold day in hell before I let her watch her. It's not so much that I feel she would harm her, but due to the limited contact we have with her she really doesn't know much about DD - how she likes to be held, favorite toys, how to feed her, etc etc. 

FIL and his wife are decent people and while I know they care for DD I can't really see them babysitting her.  Much of this stems from my own anxieties about things being done a certain way.  MIL just sucks at life and I personally don't feel she's earned the right to be as involved in DDs life as she would like. 

molRN

thanks for all of your responses ladies!

anonomity

itsmegin:

I love my ILs but sometimes they make me uncomfortable, they are very judgy and pretty much disagree with all our parenting choices because it's not what they did. MIL is the sole breadwinner and said to us before we had kids that my SIL wasted her college degree by being a SAHM, so I know she feels the same about me though she won't say it to my face. They even argued with us about CDing. Really? Why should anyone care if we CD? I dread them finding out we aren't vaccinating because I know they'll flip out. The good thing about both my parents and ILs is that they're really pro BFing and did themselves so they're cool with me BFing in front if them, and they all love DD and while they may disagree they'd never go behind our backs and do anything we didn't want them to.

All of the bold is true for me too.  They question every decision we've ever made, don't respect the boundaries we set, and MIL is mentally unstable.  (Our last visit ended with MIL storming out of a restaurant because she didn't get her way.)  While MIL is the main offender, I will never trust them alone with DD.

So yeah... my parents! lol