"I'm not Josie, call me Rachel!" and some s/o of the emotional post

macaroni1979

or maybe I should call this post "my child is making me crazy, tell me I'm not alone!"

Josie has been in this "stage" for awhile now, and I can't stand it! Everyday she is someone new. She will not respond if I call her by her name, I have to call her whatever name she has created for the day. She then walks around the house commenting on all the toys/furniture she has never seen before, you know, since she has never been here. I ask her to do something, and she will tell me that she doesn't have to, "Rachel doesn't have to do that." She also calls me by name, and not mom. This I hate. It has been going on for at least a year, and I don't know how to fix it. She will be yelling at me in Target because I won't buy every toy in the $ bin, and she is yelling "Alison" while she has a tantrum. I sound like the evil stepmother. 

I watch these videos of her at DS's age, and I just want that sweet, loving daughter back. She used to call me mommy then

Oh, and I can totally relate to every post in the emotional post below. Especially if I do anything to take away her independence -flush the toilet, get the spoon out of the drawer, open a door. And then I don't even know who to comfort/yell at, Josie or Rachel?!

jlw2505

Wow is about all I can say.  Sorry my kids never went through this stage and from the sounds of it, I hope they don't.  My girls both have given themselves nicknames but nothing like you are talking about.  I don't have any real suggestions other than to sit her down and have a heart to heart about what is OK and what is not and if she keeps up the back-talk and not listen, she should start getting lots of time outs or losing things or a combo of both.  Stand firm as hard as it is and stick to whatever consequence you have decided on.  I would give her some choices  - if you have asked her to pick up her toys and she says no, tell her that if she has not started cleaning up by the time you count to 3 then the toys that are on the floor are all in time out for the rest of the day - she can then choose to clean up or lose her toys.  If you are in the store and she is doing what you described above, give the option of stopping the behavior and helping you finish the shopping or leave the store right away and have a time out in the car with child strapped into her car seat.   Sounds to me like you need to be strict with her to get her past this stage and see what behaviors are OK and what is not.  And make sure to praise her like crazy when she does what you ask and do a ton of positive reinforcement.

RaeAnt

Does she change other than her name? like does her personality change, facial features,reactions to things? Are you accommodating to this new little person or do you treat her like Josie?

Leila'sMommy

I agree with fred, I think it's pretty awesome. If you can just minus the disobediant part, LOL. It's how Robin Williams got his start - when he was a child he would act out many made-up characters, sometimes with different voices.

My DD thinks that once she puts her fuzzy brown boots on, she is Scully from the X-Files (yeah, yeah, she watches it with us when we have it on. There are worse fictional characters out there than Mulder and Scully ) She asks me, "what's my name with boots?" and I say, "is it Scully?" and she gets all excited. I think it's cute. Just let her play it out. She's using her imagination.

macaroni1979

fredalina:

Honestly it sounds pretty genius to me. For her to have "theory of mind" enough to know that Rachel has never seen the furniture before at 3 1/2 is pretty incredible. If it were me I would enforce "house rules" vs "Josie rules" and tell her that other children may call you Mrs Smith or Josie's mommy, but not your first name.

]

This is what I thought. She has always been "older than her age" but when she is Rachel, I think she is 13. She calls me "Aunt Alison." She has ideas I would never think of. I guess that is the problem, I need to out think her. I was just hoping others are going through this stage, and that it is normal.  

Thanks ladies for your responses!  

macaroni1979

RaeAnt:

Does she change other than her name? like does her personality change, facial features,reactions to things? Are you accommodating to this new little person or do you treat her like Josie?

 

No, she just changes her name. And she tells me she is 5, not 3. I try not to accommodate Rachel. Sometimes she will ask me to hang up Rachel's jacket and she will pretend to hand me something, so I do. But I am firm with behavioral issues-- the things that are creating the problems. 

snowinlv

This is my daughter exactly! She is someone else several times a day. Often it she pretends to be her aunt (who is young), a close friend, or a nursery rhyme character. It is hard to keep up with who she is and she won't respond if you don't call her the right name. It's going to confuse my baby because she doesn't know who her big sister is She will even have a doll be "her" and talk to me like I'm the doll's mommy and my daughter will be someone else. I just go with it and am glad she has such a vivid imagination. None of her friends do this, but I think it's normal!

macaroni1979

snowinlv:

This is my daughter exactly! She is someone else several times a day. Often it she pretends to be her aunt (who is young), a close friend, or a nursery rhyme character. It is hard to keep up with who she is and she won't respond if you don't call her the right name. It's going to confuse my baby because she doesn't know who her big sister is She will even have a doll be "her" and talk to me like I'm the doll's mommy and my daughter will be someone else. I just go with it and am glad she has such a vivid imagination. None of her friends do this, but I think it's normal!

Oh thank goodness, I'm not alone! I think our daughter's would be good friends  

snowinlv

macaroni1979:

snowinlv:

This is my daughter exactly! She is someone else several times a day. Often it she pretends to be her aunt (who is young), a close friend, or a nursery rhyme character. It is hard to keep up with who she is and she won't respond if you don't call her the right name. It's going to confuse my baby because she doesn't know who her big sister is She will even have a doll be "her" and talk to me like I'm the doll's mommy and my daughter will be someone else. I just go with it and am glad she has such a vivid imagination. None of her friends do this, but I think it's normal!

Oh thank goodness, I'm not alone! I think our daughter's would be good friends  

 

They would be good friends one day but then be a new person the next and forget they met  

macaroni1979

snowinlv:

macaroni1979:

snowinlv:

This is my daughter exactly! She is someone else several times a day. Often it she pretends to be her aunt (who is young), a close friend, or a nursery rhyme character. It is hard to keep up with who she is and she won't respond if you don't call her the right name. It's going to confuse my baby because she doesn't know who her big sister is She will even have a doll be "her" and talk to me like I'm the doll's mommy and my daughter will be someone else. I just go with it and am glad she has such a vivid imagination. None of her friends do this, but I think it's normal!

Oh thank goodness, I'm not alone! I think our daughter's would be good friends  

 

They would be good friends one day but then be a new person the next and forget they met  

awww, i like you! that made me laugh! 

segerama

My daughter will be three in May and is very into pretend play.  During story time, she got bored and left the circle.  By the time I made it to her, she was sitting in a chair pretending to be the librarian saying, "I'll be nice.  I'll show you the pictures.  Sit down, cross your legs."

She also pretends to be her teachers at daycare, the infant teachers, princesses, pirates, and Oliver (not sure where this name came from).   I think this is normal.  At times it is annoying, though.  Like in the grocery store when she kept saying me, "Mean, Cruella -- be nice to this cute puppy."  She also threw a fit at Target wanting a snow shovel, so she could help her brother Ian (Olivia) find his present in our backyard.