LO #2 is here and I'm freaking out a little bit...

ctodd498

Hi!  I don't post a lot, but was hoping that someone would tell me that everyone feels this overwhelmed when they bring home their second little one. 

My little girl is a year old (birthday on Jan 27) and my little boy joined the family this month (on Feb 7).  For the most part, they're both wonderful babies and I'm a lucky mommy.  However, my little girl ended up with a cold and croup the day before we left the hospital with my little boy.  So we spent a week trying to keep them separated from each other.  It sort of worked out okay thought because I wasn't supposed to be lifting our little girl (I had a c-section) right away.  So Daddy took her downstairs to play each morning and the little man and I camped out in Mommy and Daddy's room.

Next week, though, Daddy is going back to work and I'm starting to freak out a little about the thought of handling both of them.  What happens when they both melt down at the same time?  I'm sure the postpartum hormones don't help my panic any.  Please tell me that everyone feels like this and it passes...

12bailey18

It will be OK! I, for one, know you feel. Once I accepted the fact that it is impossible for me to meet the needs of both children at the same time I did much better. I was putting so much pressure on myself that I had to please both of them, all the time and I was going crazy in the process. There's only one of you and two of them. It's OK if one is crying while you're tending to the other one. It really is OK if you have to set your baby down (and she may cry!) while you get lunch for your toddler or vice versa. Let go of that pressure and you really will survive! I also tell people that the thought of doing it is much scarier than the reality. So, you may just surprise yourself! Good luck!

PS- and yes there have been some days where all three of us were having meltdowns. We all survived and those days are now far and few between.

MommyRN1

Deep breath!  Mine are 17 months apart, but the oldest, my little boy, is a devil!   I was so nervous to be home w/ the baby and him on maternity leave.  It turned out to be wonderful.  Don't sweat the small stuff and just enjoy them.  Things won't go perfectly, but the more relaxed you are the better it will be.  I love having 2u2

StefB28

12bailey18:

It will be OK! I, for one, know you feel. Once I accepted the fact that it is impossible for me to meet the needs of both children at the same time I did much better. I was putting so much pressure on myself that I had to please both of them, all the time and I was going crazy in the process. There's only one of you and two of them. It's OK if one is crying while you're tending to the other one. It really is OK if you have to set your baby down (and she may cry!) while you get lunch for your toddler or vice versa. Let go of that pressure and you really will survive! I also tell people that the thought of doing it is much scarier than the reality. So, you may just surprise yourself! Good luck!

PS- and yes there have been some days where all three of us were having meltdowns. We all survived and those days are now far and few between.

This is great advice. Mine are 13.5 months apart and if they both need something at the same time, I usually try to get to DS1 first unless DS2 urgently needs something-- I reason that DS1 is old enough to know/understand that he's being put 2nd (which occasionally has to happen), but DS2 is not.

sparklenshine_89

No worries mama! You will be okay and it will take a little bit to adjust. It's hard and I see that your little ones are the same age difference as my little ones so I completely understand how you feel. Just do the best you can and make sure that you take care of yourself too.

Congrats on the new baby!

06162006bride

Deep breaths and remember your doing your best.  A little crying is ok Your one person, the babies will adjust too.  For you have a glass of wine to calm yourself if you must...seriously.

kcisthebombdotcom

It really wasn't as bad as I expected being alone.

The best thing I learned from this board before having 2u2 that helped immensely was prepping things ahead of time. Before DH left for the morning/the kids both were napping/the baby was napping and my oldest was playing fine alone for a bit, I'd prep for the day as much as possible. I'd line up enough bottles that I'd need for the day until DH got home (I used playtex drop-in liners) so when the baby was hungry, all I'd have to do was pour water in the bottle, shake and go feed her. Naturally they would both be hungry at the exact same second, so I'd have DS's lunch prepared hours before he would eat. Instead of changing diapers in the nursery, I kept supplies for changing in every room we spent lots of time in so I didnt have to leave one LO alone to go change the other. I knew I would have to commit lots of time to feeding, so I kept things near the rocker like sippies of water/snacks/toys for my older one so I could multitask easier.

If both were just fussy from sickness or anything at the same time, I'd have one in each arm and rock them together in the rocking chair. I also used Mickey Mouse Clubhouse for a babysitter for my oldest in the early days more times than I care to admit. lol

If they both needed something, I'd prioritize. If the baby had to hang out in the swing for an extra minute before eating because my DS had a poop diaper, it wasn't the end of the world if she cried for a minute and a half.

You will be fine. GL!

kagl08

StefB28:

12bailey18:

It will be OK! I, for one, know you feel. Once I accepted the fact that it is impossible for me to meet the needs of both children at the same time I did much better. I was putting so much pressure on myself that I had to please both of them, all the time and I was going crazy in the process. There's only one of you and two of them. It's OK if one is crying while you're tending to the other one. It really is OK if you have to set your baby down (and she may cry!) while you get lunch for your toddler or vice versa. Let go of that pressure and you really will survive! I also tell people that the thought of doing it is much scarier than the reality. So, you may just surprise yourself! Good luck!

PS- and yes there have been some days where all three of us were having meltdowns. We all survived and those days are now far and few between.

This is great advice. Mine are 13.5 months apart and if they both need something at the same time, I usually try to get to DS1 first unless DS2 urgently needs something-- I reason that DS1 is old enough to know/understand that he's being put 2nd (which occasionally has to happen), but DS2 is not.

This. Mine are also 13.5 months apart! Helping my toddler before the baby has also worked for us.

Also, the swing (for DS) and Sesame Street have become our best friends! And I agree that the anticipation was WAY worse than the reality of 2u2. I love it!

ctodd498

Thanks ladies!  I'll try to calm down a little bit. 

These are all great suggestions.  I'm a planner by nature, so I can totally see myself prepping bottles/snacks and things ahead of time. 

Your encouragement has been awesome...thank you again!

sxyhrdrssr

I have also found that having a carrier works wonders on multitasking. Usually in the afternoon I put ds2 in the moby. That way I have my hands free to play with ds1 jill ds2 wants to cuddle. Or I can chase after the older while I'm burping ds2 . It makes the day much easier. The reason in the afternoon is so ds3 isn't in it all day, a we can make a point to have him on te activity mat as well. Ds1 is usually less rambunctious in the morning.

delg23

The first 4 days were crazy. I was about to jump out the window. But by the 5th day I managed to have a good day. Good luck! PP gave great advice.