Bachelorette Party

daniellelovesjacob

So one of my best friends is getting married in July. I'm in the wedding and I have posted about this before. I am going to be in the wedding- just ordering more material for my dress. No problem. Well her maid of honor sent everyone an email about her bachelorette party over the weekend.  It is going to be an hour and a half away and its going to be pole dance lessons then they are getting a suite and going out to the bars. I will be about 32 weeks pregnant. What would everyone else do in this situation. My other two very good friends who are in the wedding aren't going to be able to attend because they work weekends and can't take this weekend off and the wedding off because the party is two weeks before the wedding. There isn't going to be anything I can do at all and I hate to drive there by my self in an unfamiliar area and be so pregnant driving home at night. 

CLeigh03

Best friend and 32 weeks? I'd be there with bells on. 40 weeks could be iffy but 32 weeks you should be good to go.

workingmama

I would arrange a spa day and lunch with my friend at another time that works for the two of you.  It would mean a lot that you make the effort and I doubt she expects you to be a bump on a log during pole dance lessons.  The bars could still be fun while pregnant, but it sounds like the general mood of the party will not be conducive to a pregnant lady and you don't want your friend to have to worry about you not enjoying yourself.

sdlaura

I would definitely go to part of it, even if you skip most of the bars and head home early.  I'm sure they will be eating dinner or something between the pole dancing lesson and the bars.  Especially since it's not like you have to fly anywhere or spend lots of money.

I'm in a friend's wedding over 4th of July weekend (when I will hopefully be 34 weeks), and her bachelorette party is over Memorial Day weekend in Portland and the wine region near there, so I have to fly to Portland for the long weekend and spend time at wineries while not being able to drink.  It would really be easier tohave my shower that weekend, since I have to fly cross-country for it, but I want to be there for my friend, so I'm going to suck it up, and I'm sure I'll have a good time regardless.

daniellelovesjacob

If it was near by I would be there in a heartbeat.... I am not much for the bar scene even when not pregnant. Just not sure what to do. But going to Minneapolis and driving by my self worries me. 

MandeeFoFandee

CLeigh03:

Best friend and 32 weeks? I'd be there with bells on. 40 weeks could be iffy but 32 weeks you should be good to go.

this exactly! I think you'll be fine going. if it makes you nervous to drive by yourself, ask if you can bring a friend along with you. 

secretkeeper321

I'd go and be the Historian....cheer them on while they are pole dancing. Eat dinner with everyone (I'm sure you're eating somewhere throughout the course of the night.) Then, I'd go to as much of the bars as I could manage, enjoy my soda water and lime and then head home and sleep in the next morning.

I went to a college reunion 6 months pregnant with DS. I was already HUGE. I just took tons of pictures, enjoyed a few shirley temple's and danced until my feet fell off. Got the side eye being the pregnant lady in a college bar, but I seriously didn't care and my friends were thrilled that I joined them.

Once the baby comes, organizing these kinds of weekends are much more difficult. Although you'll be sober...enjoy it while you can.

secretkeeper321

daniellelovesjacob:

If it was near by I would be there in a heartbeat.... I am not much for the bar scene even when not pregnant. Just not sure what to do. But going to Minneapolis and driving by my self worries me. 

Are you all staying in a hotel? Does your friend live in that area? What are the rest of the ladies doing?

I say figure out a carpool or stay with some of the local gals if the drive is the part that is scaring you off.

MichelleWest85

Honestly?  My first thought was no way would I go.  I'm not a big "lets get drunk and be somebody" bachelorette party person anyways though.  Maybe I'm just a party pooper, but I would do like pp said, find a day that you can do something with just the bride instead.  If she really is your best friend, she will completely understand.

Crossingfingers

Definitely go. However, since you will be saving some $$$ at the bar scene, have your husband go up with you, book a hotel room, and you two make a weekend of it- Win-win- you get to go and support your girlfriend and you get some nice time with your husband and don't have to drive home late by yourself..

everydayk

I'm in a similar situation, and I'm not going to the Bachelorette party. I think your friend will understand, since you won't be able to partake in part of the festivities.

Edited to add: my rationale for not going is the fact that I wouldn't be able to go to the bars... I don't want to sit in a hotel room by myself while they're out partying. I would schedule another day that you two can get together, maybe

lupineaura

If it was really one of my best friends, I would go. Watch and cheer the others as they pole dance, and leave the bar scene early. I'm sure everyone will understand. It stinks it's such a non-pregnancy friendly party, but I would definitely go to support my friend. If you are worried about driving by yourself, would any other friend be willing to carpool? Or perhaps your SO or family member would be willing to drive with you (if there is something else for them to do in the area)?

everydayk

Also, just assess if you want to go. You have a legitimate excuse not to, if that's what you feel. Don't let the fact that other people can't go (and maybe that makes you feel bad that a lot of people won't be there) dictate your decision. You said in OP that there isn't going to be anything you can do while you're there... so why drive there to do nothing? Your friend should completely understand.

And if you really want to go, do it! 

MusicBride

Crossingfingers:

Definitely go. However, since you will be saving some $$$ at the bar scene, have your husband go up with you, book a hotel room, and you two make a weekend of it- Win-win- you get to go and support your girlfriend and you get some nice time with your husband and don't have to drive home late by yourself..

This exactly.  Sounds like a great solution.

ashS10309

LucyD1029:

I'd go to cheer them on during pole dancing and stay for dinner (I'm assuming there will be dinner), then I'd head home.  Bar-hopping at 32 weeks sounds awful and your friend should understand.  The drive wouldn't bother me.  I was uncomfortable in the car at that point, but I could do it. 

I think this is what I would do.

Mrs_Bennett

MichelleWest85:

Honestly?  My first thought was no way would I go.  I'm not a big "lets get drunk and be somebody" bachelorette party person anyways though.  Maybe I'm just a party pooper, but I would do like pp said, find a day that you can do something with just the bride instead.  If she really is your best friend, she will completely understand.

this exactly.

workingmama

MusicBride:

Crossingfingers:

Definitely go. However, since you will be saving some $$$ at the bar scene, have your husband go up with you, book a hotel room, and you two make a weekend of it- Win-win- you get to go and support your girlfriend and you get some nice time with your husband and don't have to drive home late by yourself..

This exactly.  Sounds like a great solution.

This is a great idea if you want to be there on the day of.

nycteach

I'd go for sure.  I'd even participate in the pole dancing to the best of my ability and bars in Minneapolis at least are smoke free and many have yummy alcohol free cocktails so I'd go there too!  For one of my best friends, I'd definitely want to be there.

Can you get (or borrow a GPS) if you are worried about getting lost?

GenieBK

workingmama:

MusicBride:

Crossingfingers:

Definitely go. However, since you will be saving some $$$ at the bar scene, have your husband go up with you, book a hotel room, and you two make a weekend of it- Win-win- you get to go and support your girlfriend and you get some nice time with your husband and don't have to drive home late by yourself..

This exactly.  Sounds like a great solution.

This is a great idea if you want to be there on the day of.

 

what a great idea!!! might use this one for a overnight wine tasting bachelorette party I have in april. I'll be 25 weeks with twins and so not into the wine tasting or bar hoping scene, but no way I wouldn't be there.

becky679

daniellelovesjacob:

If it was near by I would be there in a heartbeat.... I am not much for the bar scene even when not pregnant. Just not sure what to do. But going to Minneapolis and driving by my self worries me. 

becky679

daniellelovesjacob:

So one of my best friends is getting married in July. I'm in the wedding and I have posted about this before. I am going to be in the wedding- just ordering more material for my dress. No problem. Well her maid of honor sent everyone an email about her bachelorette party over the weekend.  It is going to be an hour and a half away and its going to be pole dance lessons then they are getting a suite and going out to the bars. I will be about 32 weeks pregnant. What would everyone else do in this situation. My other two very good friends who are in the wedding aren't going to be able to attend because they work weekends and can't take this weekend off and the wedding off because the party is two weeks before the wedding. There isn't going to be anything I can do at all and I hate to drive there by my self in an unfamiliar area and be so pregnant driving home at night. 

I live in Minneapolis- it is not that bad. If you need any guidance or a place to crash for the night instead of going home I could help

EarsToYou

MandeeFoFandee:

CLeigh03:

Best friend and 32 weeks? I'd be there with bells on. 40 weeks could be iffy but 32 weeks you should be good to go.

this exactly! I think you'll be fine going. if it makes you nervous to drive by yourself, ask if you can bring a friend along with you. 

All of this! But you'd best believe I'd have my pg a$$ up on that pole too! You can still go out and dance w your friends pg, plus MN is no smoking so that's not an issue. I would totally suck it up for one night for my bff. I also liked pp's suggestion of getting a room, bringing DH and making a weekend out of it. And the Cities aren't too hard to get around in, I'm sure you'll be fine. Have fun!

TNWifey

  I definitely would not go. A super pregnant woman should not be in the bars around the drunk people who could knock you down, the slick floor from all of the spilled alchohol, the smoke...Pole dancing lessons probably wouldn't work so well in this situation either. Doing a long drive to an unknown area...I wouldn't go. Possibly swollen ankles and being out all night...None of that sounds smart to me.Its never fun to be around drunk people when you're sober. It sounds like a headache. If she's a good friend, she will totally get it. 

alykabob02

I'm REALLY looking forward to going to my sister's bachelorette weekend in Miami over Memorial Day. I even checked with airlines to make sure I'd be allowed to fly at 30 weeks (they all say yes, but recommend I have a "good-to-go" note from OB). My sister thinks it's great that I want to join in the fun and we were giggling over the idea of me standing at the bar and surprising people with my belly (so far, it's all in front) when I turn around.

I still go out for happy hour with my friends most Fridays, but instead of a martini, I get a martini glass filled with a fruity, non-alcoholic, mystery concoction. The bartenders at our usual place even put a fancy fruit garnish on and let me play "guess what's it in it this time". No reason I can't still have fun just cuz I'm pregnant!