Adoption
Julia on Parenthood is driving me crazy
I wish she would just leave Zoe the heck alone. Why is she butting in so much???
LOL
Warning
No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Julia on Parenthood is driving me crazy
Yeah, especially since Zoe wanted a closed adoption to begin with!
Another annoying thing about Hollywood depictions of infertility/adoption... Addison on Private Practice getting matched with a birthmother who gives birth, like, the next day (unlikely but possible); then the birthmom decides to parent the child, and then (here's the most unlikely part), Addison just GIVES UP ON ADOPTION. After being in the process for, what, one month?
WTH?
Right, because in real life, no one would give up after 5 minutes. LOL.
I agree that Julia's behavior toward's Zoe would drive me absolutely insane, but pretty much everything about her control-freak, perfectionist behavior in general drives me batty. I honestly don't think the show is making the case that this is a typical arrangement, but instead just trying to be true to the personalities of the characters they've created. I imagine anyone who had the Julia's personality in real life would probably have a really hard time butting out of their birth mom's life in a situation like this.
Personally, I'm just happy that adoption gets any play whatsoever in primetime/popular shows. I don't like when negative stereotypes are fostered, obviously, but showing the process and that it is full of ups and downs is a good thing, in my opinion. It opens the door to conversations and more people will become comfortable with the idea of adoption as a choice to build families.
So I just watched the episode this morning.
I actually saw alot of myself in Julia... of course I never acted on my thoughts. I wish they would have Julia just talk about those feelings... because they are real or atleast they were to me. Acting on the feeling isn't realistic but the desire to want more for your birth mom was very real to me.
Our second birth mom had SO MUCH potential... and I saw such good in her, like Julia and Zoe. Our birth mom is bright and witty but she had everything working against her. DH and I often talked about how we wished we could help her relocate and start over so she didn't succomb to the negative pressures around her. Her hometown sucked life out of her but she wasn't in a place to move either. She was enrolled in an on-line credentialed college and was definitely moving in the right direction but temptations around her made both of us feel like she could easily fall. And she did.
What I saw in the episode beyond Julia being completely annoying and overstepping boundaries was Julia seeing the good and potential in someone. (Of course Zoe seems to have it together and really doesn't need that much guidance).
I know I am rambling now but I see this story line representing what I don't feel great about with open adoption. We help birth moms when they are pregnant w/rent, food, etc but once postpartum is over, our financial support leaves. From someone who's lived this side of the story, it's just hard watching temptations cross was with your birth mom and seeing her fall to them. (FWIW, our second birth mom went from supporting herself while working towards a bachelor's degree to being arrested four months after birth. It's just a hard thing to be close to but have no control.)
I get this, but I agree that Zoe doesn't need as much guidance as all that.
But I would never be that pushy with my own sisters, let alone a woman/girl I've only known for a short period of time. I don't know, it just seems like really alienating behavior.
Being concerned and caring is one thing, but being overbearing is another.
I agree with this, and if I were Zoe, I think I might reconsider not my choice to have an adoption plan, but perhaps my choice of parents. Who wants someone who "cares" so much they are overbearing as their mother (or the mother of their child)?
Completely agree with Alison and CS.
I sort of watch and think that Julia might not be cut out to be part of an open adoption plan if she needs so much control. As we all know, adoption includes a huge leap of faith.
Another thought that crossed my mind was when Zoe ranted that she's doing everythinng "right"... taking pre-nat vitamins, etc. It made me laugh because I remember taking our birth mom out to eat. She had gestational diabetes and was suppose to monitor her diet. Without thinking twice, she drank a soda and ate food that was "wrong" for her condition. Did it bother me? Not at all. That's part of the leap of faith. You can't expect someone else to do things the way you would... and if that's what you are looking for, a surrogate might be a much better fit.
I never even thought of this part, but you have a great point.