Does anyone post loss-related stuff on FB?

weddedwife

I have posted a few things recently. I really only lurk on fb now & read the loss groups stuff; all the day to day posts by everybody seem so lame & trivial to me now. Plus, I'm trying to protect myself from seeing anymore BFPs & newborn photos in my news feed.

Anyway, if you post stuff, do people respond? With my recent posts, I swear I can hear the virtual crickets. Only 1 person has replied anything at all, I think most people see it and just think, "Eek! There's that crazy mama w/ the dead baby posting again". It makes me sad that even people I'm friends w/ IRL just ignore it.

fluttergirlmoonchild79

I post stuff quite a bit actually.  I mentioned Corbin in my Valentines Day post yesterday, I post poems or articles I read regarding child loss.  People don't typically "respond" to the posts but I do get quite a few "likes" and then typically private messages usually saying something along the lines of "thinking about you guys often" or "thank you so much for sharing that."  I don't know, I think part of it is just that I'm in this place right now where I just don't really care what people think.  If I upset them by what I post, so be it.  But also, like I was telling my mom yesterday, all of us who lost children - we're like this secret society that you don't realize is as big as it is until you experience it for yourself.  I've noticed quite a few people here lately have mentioned that they "want to shake people they know who are PG".  Believe me, I do too.  I think people like us talking about what we've been through IRL or on FB may help people realize that being PG is not a guarantee that you'll bring home a baby.  I just want people to think and to know.  But maybe that's just me.

lrichmond86

Occasionally I post about milestones.  When we first lost baby Gary I posted a long post explaining what happened and thanking everyone for their thoughts and prayers, mostly because I didn't want to go through the pain of explaining what happened again and again. I know that there are people who don't want to read about our loss either because it makes them uncomfortable or because they aren't close friends, but as far as I'm concerned they don't have to if they don't want to.  As far as PG friends go, it kills me to read their posts about how excited they are about their babies.  But I try to keep in mind that I used to be like that and I truly hope that they never have to go through what we  did.  I

johnnys june

I'm not an avid poster on facebook anyways, but when I do post, it often relates to my loss... I miss Logan, or a quote, or a song, ect. I have to come to not expect replies, and I'm ok with that. I don't post for response, I post because it's what I'm feeling or what I need to say. It's not doom and gloom. Usually more informative, or to promote awareness. To let people know I'm still here and this is where I'm at. If they don't want to see it, they don't have to read it. The way I look at it...people use facebook as a means to communicate...to pronounce to the world their every move--regardless of how insignificant and often absurd. Sometimes I post quite literally to "throw my thoughts into the universe.". There is no shame in being a baby-loss-mom. It's our life now and I don't think we should have to hide it because the vast majority of people around us are afraid or uncomfortable.

BeccaMarie

We posted a link to his Caringbridge site after Carter was born, and I posted a picture of him on his due date, but that is about it.

I really considered sharing this - https://smallbirdstudios.com/2012/02/05/when-you-lose-a-baby/ - but, in the end I decided that my friends that 'get it', get it without reading that post. And my friends that don't get it, won't be helped by the post, it will just make them uncomfortable or make me seem like I am fishing for sympathy.

For some reason, it seems so scary to post about him on Facebook...

krysiahamaty

I post about milestones, I post quotes, links to articles, etc. For the most part, only close friends and family respond. But I don't care, I put it out there. I want people to be aware that Jack is still on our minds. As the months have passed, I want to bring him up all the time, even if it scares people from my page. 

Mjmksb04

I really don't, just because I am a private person. I don't know how to explain it, but I don't want to be garnering attention to myself because of my loss and I know the people who are close to me are already moved by my losses. I just don't like to bare my soul to the FB world.

Heatherhah

I post about Sydney all the time and my motto is if they don't like what I say they can either unfriend me or not subscribe to me. My loss of Sydney now defines me and they have to understand that it is on my mind all the time. I just recently put her pictures on facebook mainly ones I figured people could handle seeing as most people had no idea what to expect. It was very nice to see all of the responses about her that they couldn't imagine how I was feeling because I think some people just don't get the fact that our babies were little people who had 10 fingers and 10 toes they seem like sometimes they think they are just not like regular babies which I think shows that most people don't truly understand that babies die at any age and they are still our babies and we love them no matter what. But I am a facebook junkie I have though blocked people who are currently pregnant and or just had their babies as it kills me to see the posts all the time.

dandywarhol

I tend to post about how I'm feeling related to my loss.  By and large people have been very responsive and supportive.  I agree with Heatherhah, if people don't like what I have to post they don't have to read it.  Right after Sylvie's birth I was worried about the stigma of "the crazy lady who lost her baby" but now I care less about what people think.  Sylvie is part of my life and her life/death is part of mine - IRL or on FB.

{{hugs}} 

magdalina.h

I post a lot, but I have always been very very open with my emotions involving Aidan. I usually get ((hugs)) or responses.

beck2624

I was kind of wondering the same thing. With the loss being so new I feel that people might not know what to say or maybe I am just worried that they will say something that I don't want to hear. I haven't been brave enough to post anything on facebook except for explaining the original loss because I didn't want people to be texting and asking questions.

I have quite a few friends who are pregnant and it is really hard to see there happy posts, especially because they are right around 25 weeks where I should be right now.

foxxy1

I only post March for Babies information now. I really don't go on FB as much as I used to; I actually post once a month, if that. Everything is...trivial nowadays. I can't believe I was on FB as much as I was at one point.

 

erbarmywife

I post on important days, or when I'm having a bad day.  I usually just post quotes or something, with their names and 's.  I will post links to blogs and whatnot for other people to read, and pass along.  I actually have quite a few baby loss mamas on my friends list, so I either get stuff from them, or they get stuff from me.  I figure people can ignore me if they want. 

That being said, at one time I had someone on my friends list who was "offended by the amount of dead baby pictures" I had on my profile.  I had 1 picture of Thia from after she died posted, the rest were from when she was in the NICU.  I never posted a pic of Ella, since she was so purple when I got to see her.  I will someday, but I havent yet.  I basically told the woman if she didnt like it, dont look at the pics.  And if my profile pic (at that time, it was of Thia after she passed, she looked like she was sleeping) offended her, she didnt need to be friends with me.  She deleted me shortly after that.  This was the same woman who was telling people that I had killed my babies, and people would believe her when I killed my other kids, too.  She swore up and down that I had Munchhausen by Proxy. 

butterfly843

I post things once and awhile, usually only get a response from my fellow loss moms, sometimes some of my friends and family will respond.