Now That I've Calmed Down, I Followed My Own Advice

FyreFlyeRush

My phone is being retarded. I tried to update my other post and it tripped out. Anyway... Google is my friend!

After calming down, and talking to my ex, DDs father, I did a little research. First, and foremost, Stephen told me he (Alien's father) can have as many witnesses as he wants to my being an unfit mother, but nothing is going to matter as much as what he (Stephen) tells the judge about my parenting skills in the last 16 years. "You're an amazing mother, and you've done a wonderful job with J." Then he called DD and told her not to worry, we're a family even if not traditional, and family sticks together. Made all three of us cry, I think.

Second, I learned Texas does not favor joint custody. In fact, they believe a single home with liberal visitation is best. They'll award joint LEGAL custody, but sole PHYSICAL. This brought me some relief, but what about his threat? Well, in Texas, the mother of the child is automatically the custodial parent in unmarried couples. The father has the right to apply for, but is rarely awarded custody. It is extremely difficult to prove a woman is an unfit mother. Especially when that mother already has one child as proof. Also, his "proof" is texts between us. Texts and emails are not admissible in court in Texas, as they can be altered. There are exceptions, providing the messages are from the carrier and/or email host, not from either party. Ie, I can't give the court a copy of the texts, they have to be subpoenaed from AT&T.

Lastly, and this is where I'm unsure what to do, his email is considered emotional abuse in this state. Threatening to "get custody" or his "people will believe me when I tell them you're crazy" is grounds for an abuse case. I'm not sure if I should pursue it. At the very least, should I bring it up to the AG? If nothing else, it shows that he is willing to use Alien against me to get what he wants. 

Maybe now I can eat and get some sleep. 

DHYGchica3

Sounds like DD's father is going to be supportive and that's really great. I'm glad you have him to attest to your parenting.

I would use the e-mails if you want a set CO for visits. If they are likely to give him liberal visits does that mean he can come and knock at your door at any time to request visitation, or is there going to be a set time? I think if there isn't ground rules in place he's going to abuse it. If those emails will prove you can't get along and he's abusive then maybe the visits will be more strict, which could help you. That way he's not calling all the time saying he's going to take LO and there isn't anything you can do about it.

FyreFlyeRush

It's an adjusted Standard Order. Instead of every other weekend, he'll get 2-3 supervised days a week, 2-4 hours at a time until 4-5. At four, they go to every other Saturday 9-6. At five one over night visit a month is worked in, if the child seems ready. Summer, spring break, and over night holiday stays don't take effect until age 8, when the 30 day stay is broken up into 4 1 week stays. Again, if the child seems ready. Everything is changeable, and HE has to request each step up. 

Also, my shift is set. It doesn't change. M-F, 6-3 changing at my request to 730-430z his rotates every month. That will affect his visitation.

He was so condescending. So mean. The stuff he said was horrible. He said he could prove I slept my way around every job I'd ever had, and that why I left them all. That I slept with men then run to a new city to fet away from them. I have never run from a man in my LIFE. I was laid off from 2 jobs, and 2 I moved back to San Antonio so my daughter could have better opportunities. 1 I left because insurance was 100% out of pocket, and i made 15/hr. Another, I took because Texas law said I couldn't turn it down. He said he had proof I tricked him into getting me pregnant. What?! How?! I never planned more kids. Don't get me wrong. I love my Alien, even if he was a bit of a surprise. But, I was content to be done having kids. Seriously, DD is graduating in 2 years. Why would I want to start over? At 35?!?!?!

Im sorry. I guess it's easier to unload here than it is to on my friends and family. I have this need to not lean on people. To make them think I can do anything. That nothing bothers me. No, that's not it. I hate making them worry. So, I hide it all.