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Babies: 9 - 12 Months
Give me sleep advice please (kind of long)
My son does not sleep through the night. We went through a bad phase around 6 months where he was waking every hour but used Ferber and got it down to waking just a few times a night. I was happy with that for a while.
He goes to bed between 6:30 and 7:15 most nights. He's got a pretty consistent nap schedule going. Every night he wakes up at 10:30, 1:00 and 4:00. He usually goes back down pretty easily except after the 4 am waking, I have to bring him to bed or sleep in the recliner with him and then around 6 he wakes for the day.
I want to cut out the 10:30 and 4:00 waking. I don't feed him at 10:30 and just this week am phasing out the 4:00 feeding. I have tried to let him cry at the 10:30 waking but he will seriously cry until 1:00 when I feed him, figuring it's been 6 hours since he last ate and he might really be hungry (breastfed, if that matters). And I have tried it for a week at a time, it does not get better each night, he does not cry for less time as the week goes on. It just does not seem to work.
I know it's just a comfort thing, he will go back to sleep within a few minutes of being rocked. Sometimes he wakes when I put him back down, and a lot of times he will just fuss for a minute and go back to sleep. So am I not doing something right? Is he just really stubborn? Any advice for how to get rid of the 10:30 wakeup? Should I try letting him cry it out for longer than a week? It's so disheartening to see all these success stories where Ferber worked after 3 days when I go back to it each month thinking maybe he just wasn't ready last time and it never works. I need more than 3 hours of sleep at a time! Any advice appreciated!
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Re: Give me sleep advice please (kind of long)
First, have you asked your pediatrician about this? I do think it's unusual that he's still waking up for a middle-of-the-night feeding.
Do you bottle feed at all, or will he accept other soothing besides a boob? Something we had to try with Noah when he had some sleep regression issues was giving him a bottle of water. He wasn't actually hungry, he just wanted the comfort that he associated with the bottle.
Another thought would be to adjust his evening bed time. Maybe try putting him to bed at 7:30 and see if it makes a difference in his overnight waking.
Yet another thought would be The Baby Whisperer's pick up/put down method. I haven't used it, personally, but I used some of her methods earlier on, and they were really key to us getting Noah sleeping through the night. A quick Google search yielded this description: https://blogginaboutbabies.wordpress.com/2009/05/11/pupd-pick-up-put-down-baby-whisperers-sleep-training-method/.
Hope things get better! We don't have any major sleep issues these days, but I know when we do, it makes a big impact on the whole family!
At his 6 month appointment she said to let him cry it out. We did and that was when we had the improvement from every hour wakups to these 3/night. I will ask again at his upcoming 9 month appointment.
Just last night I tried the sippy cup with water but at the 1 am wakeups the only thing that gets him back to sleep is the boob. At the 10:30 and 4:00 wakeup I can usually get him back down with just rocking. I read somewhere that when they consistently wake up the same time each night it's more habit than a true need for anything, besides maybe a cuddle. Anyone know if that's true?
I will check out that link, thank you for that.
Oh yeah, and we tried moving his bedtime and whole routine, including naps, but it just made it harder to get him down for naps and he was miserable through dinner, bath and the nighttime routine. And it made no difference in overnight wakings or morning wake up time. We tried for about 2 weeks, that should be long enough to see some change or progress, no? He's been sick this last week so that threw everything off again but once he's healthy I'm going to try everything in my power to get this kid sleeping through the night.
I am a working mom so my opinion might be a bit different- We are no longer breastfeeding and or pumping but we havent had an overnight feeding for quite some time. I understand that a lot of kids still need it, but we also dont put the little one down that early. If she went to bed that early, I would honestly see her for about 20 minutes when she is awake. WE have adapted our nap schedule to make it work with our family. Have you considered that? We usually wake at 7, bottle by 8 (8oz) breakfast food around 8:30-9, lunch around 12:30-1, playtime until 2 then bottle and nap from 2:30/3-4:30/5. She will eat again about 6:30, eat dinner with us and in bed at 9. we dont sleep through the night, but we only wake once or twice more for comfort or a paci- have you thought about changing the schedule a bit to see if that helps.
A friend of mine was putting her son down early and he wasnt sleeping either, she extended his bedtime even to 8 and he is much more pleasant and sleeps better now.
We tried to adjust his schedule and move it so that he would be going to bed later because I am so not a morning person and the 6 am wakeup is killing me...although maybe if we slept through the night it wouldn't be so bad.
we tried for about 2 weeks moving everything back in 15 minute increments and it just made him fussy and naps and nighttime sleep were worse. Should I try longer? Maybe try moving things backmore gradually? I'm not opposed to a later bedtime, especially with summer coming up it will really suck having to be home for bed everynight at 6:30. That just seems to be his natural meltdown time right now.
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Breastmilk digests more quickly than formula. It sounds like he may be hungry (at least at 1:00). Perhaps feed him and time how long he eats. Then, allow him to nurse for a little less every few nights until he has cut out that feeding. Personally, I would rather feed my LO if she is hungry than let her cry (especially if she goes right back to sleep). There's a lot of good information on infant sleep and night nursing / night weaing at kellymom.com https://kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/sleep.html
Our LO mostly selpt thru the night (10-12 hours) since week 8 (and he was bf), but has gone thru some spurts of waking often. At four months I introduced rice cereal and that was the trick; I think he just needed something more for his body. At about 7/8 months he was waking at 3:30, 4:30, or 5:30 when he previously slept until 7 or 8, so then we tried letting him CIO for 2-3 minutes and most times he went back to sleep. When he cried louder we would go in and comfort him. Sometimes we picked him up and sometimes we talked to him and sometimes we just patted his back....we always wanted to do what he needed. I know this is not straight forward advice, but I want to encourage you to do what you think is best and go with your instincts. How about soothing (holding or back patting) every 2/3 minutes then every 3/5 minutes for the 10:30 waking? Maybe feed at 1 and then try only holding or back patting at the 4am waking?
Do you have a solid bedtime routine? What does LO eat during the day? Is it time to bulk up the diet with something extra? Is there something you are eating or he is eating that isn't agreeing with him?
Thanks to everyone, I think there is some good advice here. The only reason I am thinking the CIO isn't working is because even when I'm consistent with it there is no progress from night to night. And after a couple nights his voice is all hoarse so then I worry that his throat hurts him at night.
I think he is definitely hungry at 1:00 because he eats a lot for 10 minutes at least...even if I try to feed him at 10:30 to get him back to sleep he just sucks for a couple minutes and goes right back to sleep, comfort nursing all the way. I think I will try to not pick him up, so go in and comfort at 10:30 with back rubbing or try the pick up/put down (I was kind of doing that on my own but not consistently so reading about the method helped). I think I just need to be more strict and consistent with whatever I try.
I re-read Ferber, the section about night weaning (and will check out the kellymom link from PP, I love that site but haven't thought of it in a while since I have the BF down pat) and I think I'm going to still nurse at 1:00 but try to move it back in 15 minute increments so hopefully we can get down to just waking at 4:00, nursing, and right back to sleep.
I'm really interested in this...I hope you come back and see this! I'm doing mostly BLW with him, which I know isn't really as big a deal at this age, but it seems like he still doesn't eat much it mostly ends up in his bib. My husband will spoon feed him on nights that I work, usually oatmeal with veggie puree, and there doesn't seem to be a difference to how long he sleep, he still has the same 3 wakeups. But do you think I should be feeding him more during the day? Maybe he's just not getting enough feeding himself?
And yes, solid bedtime routine, the same each night except sometimes it's DH (so a bottle) and somtimes me (boob). Maybe I should always have DH do it just to stay consistent? But I love the bedtime routine
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I feel like I could have written your post... I am BLW too and have wondered if she'll sleep better if she ate puree and more ended up in her tummy than on the floor!
LO usually goes down fairly easily at 6:30pm and adjusting her bedtime up and down 15 minutes hasn't helped. She's usually awake at 11pm, 2:30 then hourly from 4am onwards until 7am for the day. I've tried to curb the nursing until the 2:30 when I honestly feel she's hungry but often find myself feeding/comfort nursing when we cosleep the rest of the night so I can get a little shuteye. I feel your pain and also have no idea what to do next. I tried to Ferber last night for over an hour and she just screamed and screamed. Good for you sticking to whatever you are trying for a couple weeks to see, if it hasn't gotten better by then I'd think it isn't working. Have you read about the 8-10 month sleep regression?
https://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-sleep-patterns/8-9-10-month-old-baby-sleep-regression/
If you were interested in emailing to share sleeping ideas, sounds like our situations/feeding/nursing habits are similar! misssurly@shaw.ca
Me too!
My DD was waking every 1 1/2 to 2 hours starting at about 8 months. I started trying to fill her up with more solids (homemade purees). That has helped a lot. She doesn't STTN, but we don't expect her to. We don't believe in CIO, so we realize we will have to deal with some night wakings. She just nurses and goes back to sleep ans that's okay with us.
I like the idea of BLW, but that alone didn't work for us. Our baby is a big eater and really needed something more than BM at 4 months (at 2-4 weeks he started taking 40oz of expressed milk in a 24/hr period) and while he has always been a healthy weight, he has never had that "chubby" baby look.
I had every intention of waiting until at least 6 months to start solids/BLW. However, when he started waking up at 4 months (after sleeping 8-10 hours thru the night and taking 3 naps since 8 weeks) I figured it was time to start feeding him some rice cereal and puree. It did the trick. I do some BLW but I also feed somethings that I know he can't feed himself. Here is what Isaac had yesterday...Nursed at 7:30am, 9am he fed himself cheerios and raisin bran, then I fed him a yogurt, around noon he nursed, at 3pm he fed himself 9 raviolis with sauce, at 5pm he fed himself half an avocado, I fed hime rice ceral with a carrot puree, he fed himself strawberries, and at 7pm he nursed. Seriously, I feel like I am feeding a "Very Hungry Caterpillar" instead of a baby.
So to answer your question, yeah I think it's time to beef up his diet.
As far as bedtime routine, I would leave it alone. I think its nice that you and DH can share in that time together. Plus, IMO, I don't like to get into such a routine that myself or LO can't get out of it....ya know? Yes I want to be consistent, but I also want to be able to make sure that things aren't so rigid that I can't change them up as needed.
So I would try patting him and other forms of soothing (besides the boob) at the first and last waking and only feed at the 1 am waking. Also, add to his diet, and leave the bedtime routine alone. I hope you keep us updated. And I really hope this helps.
I like the idea of BLW, but that alone didn't work for us. Our baby is a big eater and really needed something more than BM at 4 months (at 2-4 weeks he started taking 40oz of expressed milk in a 24/hr period) and while he has always been a healthy weight, he has never had that "chubby" baby look.
I had every intention of waiting until at least 6 months to start solids/BLW. However, when he started waking up at 4 months (after sleeping 8-10 hours thru the night and taking 3 naps since 8 weeks) I figured it was time to start feeding him some rice cereal and puree. It did the trick. I do some BLW but I also feed somethings that I know he can't feed himself. Here is what Isaac had yesterday...Nursed at 7:30am, 9am he fed himself cheerios and raisin bran, then I fed him a yogurt, around noon he nursed, at 3pm he fed himself 9 raviolis with sauce, at 5pm he fed himself half an avocado, I fed hime rice ceral with a carrot puree, he fed himself strawberries, and at 7pm he nursed. Seriously, I feel like I am feeding a "Very Hungry Caterpillar" instead of a baby.
So to answer your question, yeah I think it's time to beef up his diet.
As far as bedtime routine, I would leave it alone. I think its nice that you and DH can share in that time together. Plus, IMO, I don't like to get into such a routine that myself or LO can't get out of it....ya know? Yes I want to be consistent, but I also want to be able to make sure that things aren't so rigid that I can't change them up as needed.
So I would try patting him and other forms of soothing (besides the boob) at the first and last waking and only feed at the 1 am waking. Also, add to his diet, and leave the bedtime routine alone. I hope you keep us updated. And I really hope this helps.
Thanks kodiakk! Today I did offer him more food. I did kind of like you said, the normal whatever I would have let him feed himself and then afterwards I spoon fed him oatmeal/apple puree for breakfast and a pasta thing from gerber for lunch. Hopefully that will help. He did poop a lot more today, like 4 times instead of his usual 1. But if it helps him sleep through the night I will gladly deal with more poopy diapers.
Last night there was a small success...I have been doing pick up/put down for the last 2 nights (since I posted and someone gave me that link). The first night it took 2 hours before he fell asleep. Last night it was only 1 hour. And then he still woke at 4:00 am but then he slept in his crib from 4-6:30. Yay!
Thanks so much to everyone for all the advice and sympathy
Sometimes I feel like everyone else's baby sleeps through the night so it's nice to know I'm not alone.
Yay! I am so happy you had some progress so soon.
Yay! I am so happy you had some progress so soon.