Wow (Preg mentioned not mine)

Heatherhah

So I just received a text from my SIL who isn't or hasn't been so nice during our loss to inform me that they are now expecting a little girl. That stings so much I have no words to express the pain I am feeling.

They decided to get pregnant at the hospital right after finding out Sydney died because life was to short. So they tried 2 times that month and she became pregnant and found out a month later.  Also she is the same person who told me when she first found out I could give her Sydney's stuff if she had a girl. So I am so hurt right now. My heart hurts they will get to bring home their baby girl and mine had to die this sucks so bad. Why me why did this have to happen to us? I feel so cheated right now and can't stop crying.

Heather

eroplane

Oh gosh I am so sorry you have to go through this. How can people be so insensitive and cruel!! She should definitely know better than to say those things. I would never wish this on anyone but I do wish they understood what kind of pain we were in. Maybe then these kind of hurtful remarks wouldn't exist. I hope she has severe m/s and terrible constipation. Big hugs to you. 

fluttergirlmoonchild79

So, so sorry.  Your SIL sounds like a real piece of work.  You are more than in the right to be totally and completely upset right now.  I often ask why this had to happen to anyone.  {{{GIANT HUGS}}}

pottermommy

There is no way to answer why.  I wish there was.  I am so so sorry, your SIL is a word that I don't want to say.  

Just breathe and remember that you are better than her, you have more compassion, more heart, more love. And you are so blessed because you know the meaning of your children and how amazing they are and she can't even see how hurtful she is being.

I am sorry you have to deal with her, I am.  But you are amazing with or without her.  And if she starts being a...word I am not going to say..Tell her that you don't need her to make this worse than it already is and if she can't be there for you in the right way than you don't need her there at all.

HUGE HUGE HUGE HUGS!

MandynStephen

(((hugs)))  That is rough!  So sorry you are having to deal with that mess!

JessicaRobb

that simply sucks! What an insensitive thing to say, you could give her Sydney's stuff?!?

We are here for you! 

Gizu92708

I hate to say it but your sil sucks! How dare she ask for Sydney's things. I'm sorry you have this woman in your family. Hugs!

krysiahamaty

So sorry you have to deal with that. I can't believe she asked for her stuff! So not right. Big hugs. 

Petunia844

I'm so sorry Heather!  Just know that if the day comes when you really just have to let her have it- we'd all be behind you!  I know you're a sweetheart and it's not in your nature, but she needs to be sensitive, and if you need to tell her how hard this is for you, do it.  Big huge hugs.

Auki13

I'm so sorry.  (((HUGE HUGS)))

pb127

Gizu92708:

I hate to say it but your sil sucks! How dare she ask for Sydney's things. I'm sorry you have this woman in your family. Hugs!

Agree, what a piece of work! Big (((HUGS)))!!

careyalis

I am so sorry that you have to deal with this girl. It's hard enough to have to deal with other people's pregnancies, but it is 10x worse when it is an insensitive b!tch. Please give her a piece of your mind if she ever brings up Sydney's things again. If your not feeling up to it, post her number on here. I'm sure there are plenty of loss mommas who would be more than happy to do that for you

medblais

I am sorry you are having to deal with this, and from a SIL who you cannot avoid forever.  I have found that women who can stoop to this level of insenitivity don't even realize how rude and hurtful they are being; they are too selfish and self absorbed to know they were in the wrong.  A day after I sent an email out to my coworkers, letting them know what happened to Genevieve, I got a text from a teacher who I had worked closely with over the past 2 years. She needed "to know what she died of because her and her doctor are concerned about her brief exposure." She by the way did not take care of herself at all during her pregnancy, or after, cried to me the first couple of months that she didnt even want to be pregnant, treats her step son badly, etc. I struggle every time I see her with how unfair it all is.  I know no one said life was fair, or should be fair, but its the only word that seems to fit. It just feels so unfair. 

butterfly843

Sending hugs, I'm so sorry you have to deal with such an insensitive family member.

Jackie2200

I am so sorry you have to deal with that! So insensitive. 

I'm in Baltimore.  We're so close that I would love to give you a real hug....you deserve it!

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frogs007

careyalis:

I am so sorry that you have to deal with this girl. It's hard enough to have to deal with other people's pregnancies, but it is 10x worse when it is an insensitive b!tch. Please give her a piece of your mind if she ever brings up Sydney's things again. If your not feeling up to it, post her number on here. I'm sure there are plenty of loss mommas who would be more than happy to do that for you

 

This.  I'm so sorry.  I can't believe she would say that crap to you (OR tell you she decided to get pregnant the day your sweet baby died).  Some people are idiots.  I don't want anyone to go through what we've been through, but I wish people understood a little better.  Hugs. 

weddedwife

That is so thoughtless!  I can't believe how self-absorbed some people are.

What on earth did you say to her when she said you could "give her Sydney's stuff if she had a girl"? What an absolute jerk.

Heatherhah

@weddedwife I basically told her that if we have a DS in the future we will use the stoller I bought that was brand new and never used and if people have issues oh well that stuff would be his sister in heavens stuff I am not getting rid of anything that was Riley or Sydney's stuff . She just sat there looking at me. She has no filter and just blurts stuff out with out thinking all the time and it always seems to kick me in the throat when such terribel things are said like she also replied to a question that I had a DHs cousins baby  shower that I shoudl ahve probably given the baby shower gifts back to the people who bought gifts. I was like what seriously and she said well yeah probably, I truly think that she doesn't think before she speaks. That's okay i will be talking to her soon about how she has hurt me over the last 4 1/2 months. Pregnant or not that is no reason to be so mena to someone whos baby has died.