If the invite says "Please feel free to drop off and pick up"

Mrs Manners

Does that mean they really don't want the parents to stay? I'm not comfortable leaving ds at a play center without me. Ds just turned 4, this kid is turning 4, I've never met the parents (it's another kid from daycare) and ds has food allergies. I'm wondering if I should just decline or if I should allow him to go and just stay with him. WWYD? And am I the only one who thinks drop off at age 4 is crazy? No way would I want to be responsible for a bunch of other 4 year olds. 

FriskyPanda

I wouldn't leave my 4 yr old at a party without a family member.  Maybe they're just trying to reduce expenses by not providing food for the adults.

soontobemomma

We put that and honestly did not care if people stayed at all.  The parents that stayed had a great time.  I didn't have food/bev for them out during the activities, though.  I really put that b/c we had a limit on the number of kids that could attend, and I wanted people to be able to drop off w/o arranging care for siblings.  I thought if I didn't put that, I would feel obligated to let siblings participate, and I did if they did stay and watch.  I have found that some people bring siblings and assume that it is okay, maybe this gave a clue that it wasn't some big party for all.

Hope that made sense, and I think you would be so fine to stay, and I wouldn't leave a 4yo alone at a play center, either, but I wouldn't bring a sibling along. 

meglew

DD just turned 4 and I wouldn't leave her alone with parents I had never met before.  DD has a few close friends in her pre-school class that I know the parents (we do play dates every other week) that I would consider doing that for.  When you RSVP, I might just ask if it is alright to stick around.  If I were hosting the party, I would have no problem with parents wanting to stay.

surprise3rd

I wouldn't leave my 4yo either, nor would she want me to leave her.  I would accept and just stay.  I would not expect to be fed or anything, and would not feel like I needed to explain myself to the hostess.  I would just stay and that would be the end of it.  I bet there are a lot of parents who choose to stay.

veloelle

I think "feel free" means you have the option of staying, but like others said you're probably on your own for food.

littlemermaid

It sounds like they are leaving it up to the parents.  If the parent is comfortable with dropping off then they can and if they are not then they can stay.  Dropping off is convenient when the invited has younger siblings that are not invited so the parent has the option of just dropping off and not having to worry about what to do with the other non-invited siblings.  I never dropped my kids off at 4 years old esepcially at a pubic place.

Angela814

I think it means exactly what it says. You can drop off your child if you feel comfortable with it. If they didn't want parents at all, they would have worded it differently.

We did our first drop off parties last years when DD was in 4K. The kids were all 4 and turning 5. We had a few parents stay at DD's 5th birthday party, but they were the ones we knew from years at daycare. I think most of the kids were 5 by that point (end of May).

I think if my DC had food allergies, I'd be more likely to worry. I think you are fine staying at the party if that's what you'd like to do.

EXL311

I think it's fine to stay with him.  DD (5.5) was invited to a slumber party.  We've never just dropped her off at a party so I'll be staying with her until she adjusts and then picking her up before bed.  I would absolutely not just drop my 4 year old off.  Plus DS who is almost 7 has a peanut allergy and we don't drop him off at parties either.  I don't trust parents I don't know to make sure he doesn't end up in the ER. 

jlw2505

At age 4 or even 5, I would not just drop off my child at a party especially at a play place.  I think the parents just want to let people know that it is OK with them if you don't stay.  I would still go and maybe when you RSVP just mention that you do plan to stay at the party.  I am amazed at how many people will drop off their 4 year olds - i was at a party with my almost 4 year old this fall and a family dropped off their son who was 3 or maybe 3 1/2.  It was at an art studio and the boy had a potty accident as he didn't feel comfy asking any of the adults there to help him and of course, we had no clothes to put the poor kin into.  For my DD"s party next month, I listed that parents need to plan to stay at the party - we are doing a bounce house party and while the place has staff there to help - there is no way I am spending the party shuttling the kids to and from the bathroom, helping them on all the bounce things and stuff.  At my older DD's party last year, 2 of the parents brought the younger sibs (both around 4 at the time) of the kids invited and then left - both of those kids cried for half the time.

libra31

Angela814:

I think it means exactly what it says. You can drop off your child if you feel comfortable with it. If they didn't want parents at all, they would have worded it differently.

totally agree.  They don't want you to feel you have to stay if you'd rather do something different during that time or can't stay.