thoughts on child going by middle name instead of first name??

beccabride2be

I am curious what others think of having to explain to people you go by your middle name?? If Your first name is on everything but you introduce yourself as someone else can get confusing for some. My husband's family has the tradition of Joseph as the first name but they all go by their middle name. Some people just cant comprehend it and i wouldn't want to burden my kid with that. I suggested we keep Joseph but use it as the middle name. He's not on board yet, but we aren't even sure we are having a boy yet. 

BrideBuddies

Not a fan at all.  Frankly, I don't get it.

So if Joseph is the traditional first name yet no one goes by it, I'd name your kid Joseph xxx and call him Joseph.  Skip the middle name as used name thing.  That way, you're still following tradition.

 

Smallstar

If the child prefers the middle name when they're old enough to choose, so be it, but I don't understand the rationale behind naming a child and then intentionally calling them something else. What's the point of choosing a name you have no intention of ever using, except on official documents?

jelina

My dad is called my his middle name exclusively, so are both of my BIL's. They have survived and have thriving careers. I don't think it bothers any of them in the least.

Kimmyznc

My dad has also ONLY gone by his middle name his entire life with no issues. I don't think anything of it whatsoever.

alliejo725

I used to think it was stupid, but since moving to the South, I don't think it's that big of a deal at all. Lots of people here do it. It's really not that confusing.

9yrsLater

Joy2611:

I grew up with a friend of mine going by his middle name instead of his first.  I never thought anything of it and am surprised by how many people "just don't get it." 

 ::shrug::  It doesn't bother me one way or the other.

While I'm a big fan of being called by one's first name (no NNs) I don't mind the MN thing too much. I've known a couple boys who go by their MN and they seemed to get through life just fine... so far.  

elfinali

Please don't do it! I have gone by my middle name my entire life, and I hate always explaining to people. For example, at work they will only put my first name on my badge (b/c legally thats my name), so when I walk up to a patient and introduce myself they look confused, so I have to explain I go by my middle name. Also, as a little kid in school it sucks because I was always embarassed to explain to the teacher on the first day of every new year that I went by my middle name. Once my teacher wouldn't even believe me and made me bring in a note from my mom. Humiliating.

Aligator28

Teacher here. This gets pretty confusing for school related stuff. I say, find a fn you love, and go with it. 

adorebella

I personally don't like it. I have a friend who's name is Jeffrey Nicholas - Jeffrey after his dad. His whole family called him Nick but in high school he decided to start going by Jeff. I once called his house asking for Jeff and his mom freaked out because she thought I was a hussy calling for her husband. Now he basically goes by two names, Nick by his family and childhood friends, Jeff by everyone else. So, I don't like it. I think your son's first name should be what you plan to call him. I like Joseph as the middle name. 

Laurakat81

I go by my middle name. I've always liked it. As a kid I always thought it made me a little extra special! The reason my parents chose it that way is because they thought Laura Katharine sounded better than Katharine Laura. So they went with it. I personally love my name. It only gets a little confusing when I can't remember if a doctor has me listed under my first or middle name. But really it only takes an extra 2 seconds to say, " I'm either listed under Laura or Katharine or Laura Katharine".

mybobble

Originally ds was going to be Charles Greyson and we were going to call him Greyson. We thought about it and decided if we were going to call him Greyson we should just name him Greyson Charles and we did.

I didn't want to confuse people when we told them his name and frankly didn't want to have to explain why we decided to go a name and not actually use it.

If he should decide when he's older to go by Charles (his mn) Im fine w/ that.

cherrys

My father and my brothers went/go by their middle names, but always used their first initial.

W. Dyson (Wesley)
W. Scott   (Wesley)
K. Wade   (Kevin)
B. Andrew (Brett)
J. Aaron    (Jacob)

In school, the name appeared as J. Aaron Fis***, and that's how any papers/documents get signed.

I also have an uncle that goes like that:

M. Timothy   (Mark)

KimandRoss0115

Both DH and DS go by their MNs, their FNs are the same as my FIL.  The one real issue I've noticed is because DH and FIL have the same initials.  That can lead to some confusion.  So I made sure to find a MN for DS that didn't start with R. 

Oh, and I do agree that it is much more common in the South.  I'm from IL originally and didn't see it much there.  Now that I live in FL, I see it much more frequently.

olp920

i like the idea of the child choosing to go by their middle name because they identify more with it. but it has to be confusing for them to have it chosen for them by the parents... trying to teach a little one to write their name for the first time and that isnt the name they go by? or vice versa?

runrinserepeat

FIL was a junior, so he always went by his mn. It was confusing for all of 2 seconds, until DH explained it.

Come to think of it, my best friend in high school went by her mn, too. She was from south america, and her first name, Maria, was really common. Very few people knew she went by her mn, and on all of her official documents, she signed M. <middlename>. Again, not a big deal.

EastCoastBride

I have a couple friends who go by their middle names.  I recently asked one about it and if it was a problem.

Long story short- she doesnt' like it.  She wishes her parents hadn't done that.  It's not a HUGE deal, but it had led to confusion over the years, and ti's enough of an issue that she does sometimes have to try and keep straight where she's used her first name vs her middle name.

 

camillaandcarson

I like it

ahappyrobot

My youngest brother goes by his middle name as per step dad's family tradition (R. Maxwell Last Name) His middle name is on everything since he's always been called Max. It's never been a problem and he likes to say he has an "oil tycoon" name because he used an initial in the front. Ha.

 I know plenty of people who choose to go by their middle name since they hated their first name. I don't see how it could be a burden, especially since your husband is okay with it enough to pass on the tradition. I'm sure most people "don't get it", but I don't understand why it matters what order your names are on a birth certificate since people can go by any name they want.

ldbryan

I have always gone exclusively by my middle name and it's ANNOYING!  People at work called me by my actual first name for over a year because my email includes my first name, I never know which name is listed at businesses, companies on the phone refuse to talk to me because they don't think I'm me, etc.  I would never do it to my own child. 

ekcape

I have also always gone by my middle name (parents choice, not mine.)  I honestly can't stand it.  It has caused many issues (being called the wrong name by employers/teachers/doctors/etc., email issues, credit card issues, passport issues, etc.)  I tried to drop my first name when I got married, but it is difficult in my state to do so (have to go to court)  Anyway, I wouldn't do it!  Please just call them by their first name.

lem03

My dad goes by his middle name and he hates it. He's always wished that his parents had just made his middle name his first name. It has sometimes been a problem at airports since his driver's license has his first initial and his middle name and the TSA people sometimes get worked up about that.

groovygirl858

As someone who has went by my middle name my whole life, I personally wouldn't name a child with the intention of calling the child by their middle name. I don't understand the thought process. Why not just name the child what you want to call him or her? My mother has said more than once that she wishes she would have switched the order of my first and middle names, but felt she had to use the order she did because of my first name being a family name. I, personally, wouldn't change my name even if I could (even though I did think for a fleeting moment about dropping my first name when I changed my name when I got married), but I still wouldn't recommend naming a child with the intention of the child going by their middle name exclusively. It has not caused any kind of big issues throughout my life, but it has been a minor hassle throughout the years in many different types of situations.

ObLaDi

I think it's exactly what you said--a burden.

Annoying, confusing, and way more of a hassle than it's worth.

I'm highly in favor of naming your child what you'd like to call him.