WWYD regarding inviting DS's friend over for playdate

Jen&Len

DS is very shy, but has made 1 friend in school who he talks about all the time. He keeps asking if he could come over.  I don't really know the mom other than a few chats we've had during pickup/drop off.  I emailed her to see if she wanted to have a playdate and I didn't get a response.  This was a few weeks ago.  I know she has checked her email because she responded to an evite for another classmate's birthday party.

Do I email her again?!  Does that seem stalkerish?  I've tried to go early enough to catch her during drop off, but she gets there really early and I can never get out the door that early.  DS asks me every day if I've asked his classmate's mom.

Sawyerplus1

I would do my best to catch the mom at school and ask her there. That way she knows exactly who is asking/what child it is/etc. Perhaps she was unsure of who the invite was from...?

Mrs Manners

Sawyerplus1:

I would do my best to catch the mom at school and ask her there. That way she knows exactly who is asking/what child it is/etc. Perhaps she was unsure of who the invite was from...?

This. Or maybe it went to her spam filter or she accidentally deleted it or just got busy and forgot. I'd try to catch her in person or leave a note in her kid's mailbox with specific date options for the playdate and an email or phone number.  

ArcticFox

Do you have winter break coming up?  That would be a perfect time to ask for a gtg.  We have cubbies at school and parents leave notes or other things in the cubbies for other kids or parents.

neverblushed

Another possibility is that, like your son, hers is a shy kid.  Maybe she's assuming that "playdate" means dropping her kid off at your house.  She may be worried that her 3 y/o isn't ready for that yet, but she hasn't figured out how to deal with telling you.

You should talk to her in person and be flexible with the definition of playdate.  My kids were both shy and were not ready to be dropped at a friend's house until they were closer to 5 years old.  In preschool we did a lot of "let's meet at the park" kind of playdates instead.   

These social milestones are tough for shy/sensitive kids.  Finding another parent who really "gets" this is priceless, so it might be worth your time to cultivate a working relationship with her!

Jen&Len

neverblushed:

Another possibility is that, like your son, hers is a shy kid.  Maybe she's assuming that "playdate" means dropping her kid off at your house.  She may be worried that her 3 y/o isn't ready for that yet, but she hasn't figured out how to deal with telling you.

You should talk to her in person and be flexible with the definition of playdate.  My kids were both shy and were not ready to be dropped at a friend's house until they were closer to 5 years old.  In preschool we did a lot of "let's meet at the park" kind of playdates instead.   

These social milestones are tough for shy/sensitive kids.  Finding another parent who really "gets" this is priceless, so it might be worth your time to cultivate a working relationship with her!

Thanks...I didn't even think that she would take it as her dropping her son off.  I'll try the note in the mailbox.  I tried to make it early for drop off to try to catch her (she drops off early), but DS was taking his sweet time eating his breakfast, so we missed her again.

Jen&Len

Mrs Manners:

Sawyerplus1:

I would do my best to catch the mom at school and ask her there. That way she knows exactly who is asking/what child it is/etc. Perhaps she was unsure of who the invite was from...?

This. Or maybe it went to her spam filter or she accidentally deleted it or just got busy and forgot. I'd try to catch her in person or leave a note in her kid's mailbox with specific date options for the playdate and an email or phone number.  

DH thinks it might have gone to spam because I emailed her from my work (a large hospital) email account. 

livinitup

I think these things work best with phone calls. A really great playdate mom at DD's school contacted me through a note in her back-pack to call.  Really effective. Keep trying. It has worked-out great for all of us.