So how are we all doing?

Heatherhah

Hello ladies-

  How is everyone doing  this morning?

I am doing pretty crappy but it has a lot to do with TTC more than anything right now but that isn't really the reason for this post.

I miss my baby and looking at her nursery kills me each day. Hearing my first DD talk about the sister she never met kills me. This whole thing sucks. I hate this new life I'm living now I am grateful to have what I have but I suppose I will always want more I think losing her did that to me. I will always want more all the time. Mainly I want her but that won't happen. My brother came over last night and he was looking at the pics of both of my girls and told me he still believes they would have looked like twins that just kills me too. So much pain and heart ache!!

We watched our wedding video because my brother and soon to be SIL are getting married in a few months and they wanted to see our video I told DH wow we were so happy then and now we have had so much devastation how have we survived. He too was having an emotional weekend with me it makes me so upset to see him cry for the loss of our Sydney. I miss her!!

Heather

 

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Gizu92708

Ugh im so sorry. I had a good week and then just as I suspected , my weekend has been in the dumps. When I feel like I have this weekend I just think that Enzo is watching me and he doesn't want to see me like that. Hugs!!

pottermommy

I wish there was anything I could say to make that longing better.  I really do.  I can offer hugs and tell you that you are so amazing and it is all normal to feel this way but you know that.

So big big hugs and lots of prayers.

Carolee

I'm actually doing ok right now.  I had a nice long talk after work on Friday with a coworker about Eliott, and I was able to hold a conversation about him without crying.  That's huge for me.  I miss him terribly though. 

I'm coming up on the EDD for my 2nd loss, and I feel like a bad mom because I don't think I've actually mourned this (or my 3rd) loss because they were so early. 

JessicaRobb

I look at our wedding pictures and feel the same way. We were so happy, we had no idea what was coming exactly five months from the day we got married!

 I am also learning to deal with this new person that I have become.  I know what you mean about always wanting more. Things should have been different and we will always be missing something.

I am sorry you are having a rough time. Know that we are here for you. ((hugs)) 

JessicaRobb

Carolee:

I'm actually doing ok right now.  I had a nice long talk after work on Friday with a coworker about Eliott, and I was able to hold a conversation about him without crying.  That's huge for me.  I miss him terribly though. 

I'm coming up on the EDD for my 2nd loss, and I feel like a bad mom because I don't think I've actually mourned this (or my 3rd) loss because they were so early. 

Dont feel like a bad mom. I have no experience with other losses yet (and hopefully not at all) but I imagine they are quite different. That means different types of mourning are expected. I am glad you were able to have a good talk about Eliott. 

ally2011

Ha, I think the same thing looking at wedding pictures and early dating pictures....I think "it's better that they didn't know...they might have run screaming....young dumb kids:)"

I hope everyone that has been down has some up days soon.  The first half of my week was very hard....the second half has been a bit better.

We are looking at foster/adoption as well as trying again so perhaps I am having a twinge of hope, though still terrified of recurrence (likelyhood is 25% chance for us...)

Hugs to all,
Jenn 

dandywarhol

{{hugs}}