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2 years and missing my boys.

leneae10leneae10 member
in Late Term and Child Loss

Jonah's birthday came and passed on the 5th but now on the 10th (Noah's birth and death date) all the feelings are coming flooding back.  THe finality of losing my first two babies, the starkness and cold.  It feels like it just happened sometimes.  I was at the dentist yesterday and saw my chart: 1/10/10 - Patient is 15 weeks pregnant with twins.  (I lost them a month later). The next date was 6 months later and it said Patient is 4 weeks pregnant.  They probably thought I was a FH.

I'm trying to occupy myself with tedious tasks for Isaac's first birthday but I keep melting down...  Ugggh.

Just had to get it out.  I hate trying to be strong.

image
Twin boys born too early at 17w4d and 18w2d in February 2010
Transabdominal cerclage placed September 2010
DS born at 35w1d in February 2011
Twin girls born at exactly 36w in February 2013
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Re: 2 years and missing my boys.

  • MandynStephenMandynStephen member
    (((Hugs)))  So sorry you are having a hard time. 
     Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

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  • cookie_queencookie_queen
    ((hugs))
    TTC with severe MFI since 9/08 IVF w/ ICSI #1 May/June 2010= BFP twins
    Callan George and Bennett Charles born and died 11/7/10
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    FET #1 April 2011= BFN
    FET #2 July 2011= no transfer because my lining sucked
    FET #3 February 2012= BFP! 1st beta 9dp5dt=314 2nd beta 11dp5dt=977 1st U/S 3/20 Twins- Heart rates of 111 and 138 Pregnancy Ticker
    Living After Losing
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  • magdalina.hmagdalina.h member
    Don't force yourself to be strong. I've been a blubbering mess the past few days. I focused just on Aidan and put Lucas' party stuff away. I love you and am here if you need me.
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  • Gizu92708Gizu92708 member
    I'm sorry . Hugs!
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  • foxxy1foxxy1 member
    ****HUGS****
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  • pottermommypottermommy member

    I am so sorry.  The dates always hit me hard too.  I wish I could grab you up and hug you tight. 

    Happy birthday Jonah, and Noah.  Your mommy loves you so so much. 

    Don't try to be strong, just be you, that is where your greatest strength is.  <3

     

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  • weddedwifeweddedwife member
    Thinking of you, Jonah & Noah!
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  • Jackie2200Jackie2200 member
    ((hugs)).  I hope you feel better soon.  Happy Birthday in heaven, sweet boys.  I hope your boys and my boys (and all our babies) are playing together in heaven. 

    TTC Since 10/08 4 IUIs=BFNx4
    IVF#1=BFP!! Twins!!
    Bradley and Billy born and lost on 2/2/11 at 19w2d due to pPROM/PTL. I miss you, little angels.
    IVF#2=BFN
    IVF#3=c/p IVF#4=Empty Follicle Syndrome; 1 mature, fertilized, & made it to blast. 5dt of "the lone ranger" on 9/6. Please stick, little one! Image and video hosting by TinyPic Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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  • samakasrcsamakasrc member
    I'm sorry your having such a tough time...  Sending BIG hugs your way.
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  • leneae10leneae10 member
    Thank you ALL.  The loss boards on here mean so much to me.  I love and appreciate you all, more than you can know. 
    image
    Twin boys born too early at 17w4d and 18w2d in February 2010
    Transabdominal cerclage placed September 2010
    DS born at 35w1d in February 2011
    Twin girls born at exactly 36w in February 2013
    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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  • butterfly843butterfly843
    ((hugs))

    Jenn

    image 3 IUI's all BFN

    IVF#1 BFN IVF#2 BFP, loss at 19 weeks FET#1 BFN IVF#3 BFP, m/c FET#2 BFN

    Missing our twins Zachary and Madison, lost at 19 weeks on 11/13/09, edd 4/9/10

    BFP 7/17/10, m/c 7/25/10, edd 3/25/11

    Ectopic, lost left tube 4/20/11, edd 12/6/11

    my blog

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  • nuttycoconutnuttycoconut member
    Happy birthday to your sweet Noah and Jonah. And I just cancelled a dentist appointment because I couldn't deal with telling them I'm not pregnant anymore. Ugh sorry you had to see all that on your chart. Sad
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    IVF #1 BFP b/g twins!; loss at 23 weeks due to I.C. and PTL. IVF #2 BFP 5/26/12; due date 2/6/13; TAC surgery 7/20/12, blessed with another girl & boy! 

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