Toddler struggling w. working mom's morning routine

GrayGhost13 · February 2012

I work full-time, and my husband SAH with my 13-month-old DS. DS has never had trouble with my departures in the morning, but recently he's had increasing trouble keeping it together during the hour or so leading up to my departure. I'm not sure if it's separation anxiety, now that he can tell I'm taking steps to get ready to leave, or something else, but it's making mornings challenging (logistically and emotionally) for me, so I'd love some suggestions.

Some more details, if it helps... I usually wake up an hour or two before DS and DH and go work out. Usually, DS and DH are both awake by the time I come back. I either nurse DS, then shower or vice versa (depending on the day), then DS and DH hang out in our room while I finish doing hair, makeup, etc. DS can cuddle in bed if he wants or he also has toys and books in our room that he can play with. My husband usually lets him do his own thing, but will engage him to play or read if he's bored or getting into mischief.

Lately, that entire time I'm getting ready, DS clings onto my legs, motions to be picked up, repeatedly signs to ask for milk (even if he just nursed) and melts into a screaming, crying mess if I step out of the room, shut the bathroom door or turn on the blow dryer.

When it's time for me to leave, I pick DS up, tell him where I'm going, give him a hug and kiss, then hand him to my DH. At that point DS will smile and wave bye-bye, and acts 100% fine and cheerful. It's the earlier shorter separations while I'm getting ready that seem to upset him. DH and DS usually start their morning routine (dressing, eating breakfast, walking the dogs) after I leave for the day.

Any thoughts on what we could do to make mornings easier? Seeing him crying for me every morning is really tough.

BrideInLondon · February 2012

Each morning I set the timer for 10 minutes and play with DD doing whatever she wants for those 10 minutes. I tell her that when the timer rings, mommy has to go get ready for work.

This has helped mellow out our mornings. Maybe it could help?

pitterpatter129 · February 2012

I do all my "getting ready" stuff the night before (shower) or before my LO wakes up. After he wakes up, I nurse him and then I promptly stick him right into his high chair. On days my DH is home (other days I drop him off at daycare), DH can then feed him some yogurt and I finish up whatever I need to do, give kisses, and sneak off. That way, he's distracted by food in the high chair while I'm leaving. If I just leave, then we have the leg grabbing, sobbing melt-down that we have at daycare the other mornings. So....distraction.