BFP and needing reassurance!

peanut201b

My LO will be 16 months younger than my DD and I'm just a little freaked out. I'm not worried so much about the logistics (i.e. how the he!! I'm going to handle two kids), but how could I possibly love this child as much as my DD? Am I being fair to my DD?

 Has anyone else had these feelings?

marielovestimothy03

My first two are 16.5 months apart and I love it. I love DD2 just as much as DD1 and never had any feelings of regret or sadness in giving DD1 a sibling so soon. Don't think about it as taking anything away from your older child, you're giving them a sibling! My girls LOVE each other and get along so well (most of the time, haha) now. It's been so amazing to watch them together over the past 16 months and I can't wait to see them with their new baby sister in a few months!

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peanut201b

Thanks for your replies! I know it really is going to be great having them so close. After all that is what we wanted. I just didn't really expect this mix of emotion after getting that positive. Reality really has set in!

andreagb

I completely understand. I didn't expect to have any kind of negative or guilty emotions when getting pregnant again. Mine will be 18 months apart and it has taken me a few weeks to really accept it and realize it will be a great thing.  I feel terribly guilty for my DD and I don't know why?  I constantly think "how am I going to give my DD as much attention when there is a new baby here". Then again she grows more and more independent every day and she won't ever know life without a sibling so I take comfort in that...(but there are days when I'm still totally freaked out)

MrsW80

Yup i know how you feel. My 2 will be 17 months apart and i cant even fathom how i could love anyone as much as i love DS, but everyone assures me that you just do!

laura1

Mine are 15.5 months apart, and it is great!  They LOVE each other.  Waking up from naps, they both ask about the other one.  One of my DD's first words was DS's name, and vice versa.  

It is tough - and different kinds of tough as time goes along.  First it is hard having a toddler and newborn - being tired all of the time.  Then it is hard when they both are mobile, trying to chase after them both.  Now it is hard since they both have their own personalities and preferences and fight over toys.  But when they play together, it is the cutest thing in the world.    

Under.the.Rose

Mine will be about 17 months apart and here are my positive thoughts:

- Now that the BFP has long since settled in... I'm LOVING this pregnancy and this new baby! I feel like now I really understand what's coming and that makes me all the more excited to meet her!

- My son has grown up SO much in the past month or two and it makes me so happy to know he'll have a sibling to love on, teach and play with. I'm beyond excited to see him as a big brother because I know he's going to be amazing. 

- Having a new baby around is something that my son can participate in and help with, giving him purpose and fulfillment as he loves on his baby sister and helps out mommy and daddy in his own little ways.

- I think I had a tougher time envisioning how I was going to connect/love my son before he came than with my daughter due in May because I had no idea what it would be like to be a mom, have a son, etc. Now I AM a mom and those feelings are already there.

- As our babies grow up, they need to develop their own sense of self and independence -- having to entertain themselves while mommy tends to their baby sibling is part of this and it's a wonderful thing! Spending quiet time playing on their own develops their imagination and patience (not always waiting on us to entertain them).

- I think everyone wants to live their lives surrounded by family/loved ones -- that's what we'll have and our children will have. Adding one more to the bunch is just adding to that circle of family which is awesome and good... not taking anything away from them.  

peanut201b

Under.the.Rose:

Mine will be about 17 months apart and here are my positive thoughts:

- Now that the BFP has long since settled in... I'm LOVING this pregnancy and this new baby! I feel like now I really understand what's coming and that makes me all the more excited to meet her!

- My son has grown up SO much in the past month or two and it makes me so happy to know he'll have a sibling to love on, teach and play with. I'm beyond excited to see him as a big brother because I know he's going to be amazing. 

- Having a new baby around is something that my son can participate in and help with, giving him purpose and fulfillment as he loves on his baby sister and helps out mommy and daddy in his own little ways.

- I think I had a tougher time envisioning how I was going to connect/love my son before he came than with my daughter due in May because I had no idea what it would be like to be a mom, have a son, etc. Now I AM a mom and those feelings are already there.

- As our babies grow up, they need to develop their own sense of self and independence -- having to entertain themselves while mommy tends to their baby sibling is part of this and it's a wonderful thing! Spending quiet time playing on their own develops their imagination and patience (not always waiting on us to entertain them).

- I think everyone wants to live their lives surrounded by family/loved ones -- that's what we'll have and our children will have. Adding one more to the bunch is just adding to that circle of family which is awesome and good... not taking anything away from them.  

Thanks for this! You brought up a lot of great points and reassured the reasons we wanted them close to begin with.