Introduction
I introduced myself a while back ago but things got super busy during the holidays and I wasnt around as much.
Heres my background story--We did the whole fertility hell thing. Clomid, injections and 2 rounds of IVF. and got nothing. except a diagnosis of unexplained infertility, miscarriages and heartache the entire time.
Professionally speaking, we lived in MI so we werent going nowhere fast due to the harsh economic times. My husband was offered a job in VA and we jumped at the opportunity to start a new chapter. And start the adoption process for a special needs--minor or correctable- child from China. My husband is estatic and eager to get the process going. I want a child so bad I cant feel it anymore. But I am so not getting attached to the idea of adoption. Not that I am opposed to the idea but having something go back in this process (the one that is guaranteed to bring us a kid) would be devastating. So, I am not getting excited or attached to the idea. In fact, I am terrified out of my mind. Change is good but still VERY scary. My DH is great. He understands and gets the paperwork going and I still help. But as far as my excitement, I dont think it will be there until we are on the plane to China. And even then, we will be going through so many other emotions at that time, I dont thnk i will even feel my excitment.
Is anyone else like this? You love the idea in your head but in your heart, you just cant feel excitement. I am guessing it is normal to be scared out my witts about adoption, but it is nice to validate my feelings.
Are there regular get togethers on this board with people that live in the same area? Anyone interested in getting together in the Richmond Va area? I would love to surround myself with people who get it...it seems like everyone I know is pregnant again. And it would just be nice to hang out with people who are going through what we are.Plus, being new to the area, it would be great to meet new people.
Thanks for reading. 
Re: Introduction
I read a collection of adoption essays and identified with one of the writers. She talked about how she and her husband almost "forgot" about the adoption process during the wait and just lived their lives. They really had to scramble when they were chosen.
I felt the same way most of the time. It was a very abstract thing for me a lot of the time. We kept telling our SW that, if we had an adoption fall through, we'd be upset but not devastated.
Then we met DD. The night we took her home, DH looked at me and said, "There's no way I'd ever let her leave us. Ever."
It's amazing how things change.
Wow. Great Story.. Thanks for sharing. I know I am going to have that moment where there is no looking back when we fall in love with our forever baby. Its getting to that point that just doesnt seem real. Abstract is a good word for it. We are always talking about it and doing paperwork that seems endless but I just cant get excited. I guess its self preservation and protecting my heart b/c of what we have already been through with trying to have a family.
Which collection of essays? I would love to read them. Thanks.
A Love Like No Other. I called it the good, the bad, and the ugly of adoption. Some great first-person stories. I found it at our local library