Alright, this kinda sucks (vent)

foxxy1

DH and I signed up to do a March of Dimes walk in honor of Ethan. The walk coincidentally (or not) is in April, his original birth month. I posted on FB for the first time in probably weeks about the walk and asking friends if they're able to, they could donate. We already received a lot of support.

And then I just cried. I'm not supposed to be planning a walk in honor of my son. The walk is going to be 8 days after Ethan's EDD (April 20th). I should be holding my newborn son at that time and enjoying my maternity leave. It just seems like I was robbed of that opportunity with him. This is so not fair.

I hope when it comes closer to April, I'll be able to focus on the walk itself and honor Ethan as I mean to.

Petunia844

Big hugs, I know what you mean.  My mom is having a memorial plaque made for Peyton, and I had to come up with what to write on it.  I was at first happy to have come up with just the perfect words and then I got super mad that I shouldn't be summing up his whole life in one little sentence.  It's just not fair. 

fluttergirlmoonchild79

Big hugs to you!  When the time comes, I know you'll be a proud momma but I understand how hard it can be.  I actually decided last week that I'm going to do the same thing for the March of Dimes here in Indiana on 4/28.  That is actually the date Corbin would have been 6 months old.  I know that date is going to be hard and I have a feeling I'll be walking and bawling my eyes out at the same time but I feel like it's such an appropriate way to honor our son and to attempt to touch people's lives the way he did in his short time on this earth.  Even though we don't live close I will hold you up as you walk and honor your son.{{HUGS}}

johnnys june

*hugs*  Our first walk wasn't anywhere near a "milestone" or special date.  But Logan should have been 2 months then....or if he had survived the NICU, he would have been 6 months.  The morning of the walk was a very emotional one for me.  But morning was beautiful though.  We had had tshirts made, and having my family there, all with Logan's name and footprints across their chest gave me some peace.  I felt like Logan was there with us, proud of us.  We'll be participating again this year, and my daddy will go all out like he did last year...spreading the word, talking about his angel grandson, and raising money.  To me, March of Dimes is Logan's.  It's his project.  He inspired us.  And it's something we can do specifically for him for as long as want.  To me, it keeps him "alive."  Like his angel wings are still inspiring and bringing hope to families like us, to families who will have preemies, to moms who will make it 39 weeks with healthy babies because of what March of Dimes offers.

*hugs*  It will turn about beautifully.  Your Ethan will be there with you and he will smile down on you because you are his mother and he is proud of you.

weddedwife

You're right, it sucks. That pretty much sums it up. I guess you could look at it this way- that time is going to suck no matter what. You might as well be walking, and honoring his life any way possible. And getting some exercise in the process That can't be a bad thing, right?

foxxy1

Thank you, ladies for your support. It means a lot..

 

weddedwife:

You're right, it sucks. That pretty much sums it up. I guess you could look at it this way- that time is going to suck no matter what. You might as well be walking, and honoring his life any way possible. And getting some exercise in the process That can't be a bad thing, right?

You know what? You're absolutely right. As awful as it is, I can't curl up into a ball and hide (despite how much I want to!) during that time. Ethan wouldn't want me to do that, either. Now I just need to get in shape. 3 miles is a long ways, lol.

Gizu92708

I'm sorry foxxy. All I can say is I'm sure Ethan is so proud of his momma for helping out other babies. Hugs.

Carolee

What a wonderful way to honor Ethan.  It isn't fair though, like you said.  (((HUGS)))

Mjmksb04

That is a great way to honor Ethan. You have inspired me too, and I saw that there is a walk in my area on my due date for DD#2, so I am thinking of pulling together our own team. Great idea.

pb127

Big (((hugs)))  It does suck.