DH and I signed up to do a March of Dimes walk in honor of Ethan. The walk coincidentally (or not) is in April, his original birth month. I posted on FB for the first time in probably weeks about the walk and asking friends if they're able to, they could donate. We already received a lot of support.
And then I just cried. I'm not supposed to be planning a walk in honor of my son. The walk is going to be 8 days after Ethan's EDD (April 20th). I should be holding my newborn son at that time and enjoying my maternity leave. It just seems like I was robbed of that opportunity with him. This is so not fair.
I hope when it comes closer to April, I'll be able to focus on the walk itself and honor Ethan as I mean to.
Re: Alright, this kinda sucks (vent)
Married the love of my life 7/11/09 - Our first baby, Peyton Mark, was born sleeping 10/25/11 at 33 weeks - Our second baby, BFP 2/4/12, welcome to the world Raylan! Holy Moly, BPF 2/4/14, please be safe and sound little one!
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In memory of Corbin Scott 10/28/11-12/3/11. Heaven got another angel the night you left this world behind Heaven got a little better the day it took you away from me Missing you tonight, see you again sometime For now I'll close my eyes and dream of heaven tonight I'll love you forever I'll like you for always Now and Forever My baby you'll be
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*hugs* Our first walk wasn't anywhere near a "milestone" or special date. But Logan should have been 2 months then....or if he had survived the NICU, he would have been 6 months. The morning of the walk was a very emotional one for me. But morning was beautiful though. We had had tshirts made, and having my family there, all with Logan's name and footprints across their chest gave me some peace. I felt like Logan was there with us, proud of us. We'll be participating again this year, and my daddy will go all out like he did last year...spreading the word, talking about his angel grandson, and raising money. To me, March of Dimes is Logan's. It's his project. He inspired us. And it's something we can do specifically for him for as long as want. To me, it keeps him "alive." Like his angel wings are still inspiring and bringing hope to families like us, to families who will have preemies, to moms who will make it 39 weeks with healthy babies because of what March of Dimes offers.
*hugs* It will turn about beautifully. Your Ethan will be there with you and he will smile down on you because you are his mother and he is proud of you.
Thank you, ladies for your support. It means a lot..
You know what? You're absolutely right. As awful as it is, I can't curl up into a ball and hide (despite how much I want to!) during that time. Ethan wouldn't want me to do that, either. Now I just need to get in shape. 3 miles is a long ways, lol.
BFP #2 - EDD 2/26/12 M/C 6/28/11 @ 5w2d
BFP #3 - EDD 4/7/12 M/C 8/2/11 @ 4w2d
Too beautiful for this earth
BFP #4 - EDD 12/09/12, Lucille arrived 11/26/12
DD #1 passed away in January 2011 at 14 days old due to congenital heart disease
DD#2 lost in January 2012 at 23 weeks due to anhydramnios caused by a placental abruption
? to Loss+M/PL+TTCAL+PgAL+PAL
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