Miles doesn't qualify for state health insurance :(

cooker71

It was a long shot, but thought I'd give it a try to see if we can get some of his medical costs deferred, specifically his latest set of braces, which are going to set us back close to $1,000 after insurance.

It's so frustrating. He doesn't qualify for state health insurance or social security/disability because of the "assets" that my ex and I have, namely our 401Ks through our jobs.

I am NOT going to be able to make ends meet in the coming months with this added medical cost, not to mention the bills coming from Nora's recent tests, x-rays, etc. from her poop blockage. Ex will pay half, but it's still a lot for someone who barely makes ends meet each month as it is.

I hate that I can't get any help just because I'm not on welfare and/or unemployed. 

shopgirl78

Boo!  Now that you are single, you aren't claiming his stuff are you?  you shouldn't other than any child support.  Can you put any assets in a special needs trust?  They are untouchable but the lawyers fee can get expensive (to set it up).   Maybe look into a free legal aid.  Sorry. I'd still put him on any Medicaid waiver program waiting lists.  They are 10+ years old here (waiting list) and there will be someone (hopefully) to help you with the process.  At any rate, he will qualify when he turns 18.  

ghm

I'm sorry. That really sucks.

beanzer

I?may get flamed for this but it really pisses me off. ?There are lazy people who should be working, but who is not, yet I am supporting them?and their lazy a$$ ?Then there is you. ?A hard working mother who is doing an incredible job yet due to some technicality cannot get assistance. ?This is an example of how screwed up our freaking system is....can you tell I am pissed....I am normally pretty mellow.

Sorry, this really sucks balz!


-Tina

cooker71

shopgirl78:

Boo!  Now that you are single, you aren't claiming his stuff are you?  you shouldn't other than any child support.  Can you put any assets in a special needs trust?  They are untouchable but the lawyers fee can get expensive (to set it up).   Maybe look into a free legal aid.  Sorry. I'd still put him on any Medicaid waiver program waiting lists.  They are 10+ years old here (waiting list) and there will be someone (hopefully) to help you with the process.  At any rate, he will qualify when he turns 18.  

I can put any of MILES' assets in a special needs trust, but not mine (i.e. my 401K). And yes, we do still need to set one up, but again no money for attorneys, etc. at the moment.

I'm going to try a couple other avenues. Maybe the Lions Club? I know they help out disabled children with medical costs. 

 

Mrs.Tony

I'm sorry. That seems so unfair.

cooker71

beanzer:

I may get flamed for this but it really pisses me off.  There are lazy people who should be working, but who is not, yet I am supporting them and their lazy a$$  Then there is you.  A hard working mother who is doing an incredible job yet due to some technicality cannot get assistance.  This is an example of how screwed up our freaking system is....can you tell I am pissed....I am normally pretty mellow.

Sorry, this really sucks balz!


-Tina

I do feel like a lot of people work the system. Maybe I should hit them up for some advice.  

shopgirl78

I was thinking more on the lines, is it worth it to cash out the 401k and then put it in a special needs trust.  I don't know how much its worth or how much you want to hold onto it.  Fortunately, Texas doesn't count them or homes as an asset.   

They may.  The used to help around here with eyeglasses but they stopped.  Also try the shriners...

cooker71

shopgirl78:

I was thinking more on the lines, is it worth it to cash out the 401k and then put it in a special needs trust.  I don't know how much its worth or how much you want to hold onto it.  Fortunately, Texas doesn't count them or homes as an asset.   

They may.  The used to help around here with eyeglasses but they stopped.  Also try the shriners...

Oh jeez, I don't know. I'd be taxed up the *SS for that wouldn't I? Not sure it would be worth it, and it would kill me inside a little to do that since that's all I have saved for retirement/college expenses, etc. 

ghm

Definitely contact shriners or anything.else like that.

shopgirl78

cooker71:

shopgirl78:

I was thinking more on the lines, is it worth it to cash out the 401k and then put it in a special needs trust.  I don't know how much its worth or how much you want to hold onto it.  Fortunately, Texas doesn't count them or homes as an asset.   

They may.  The used to help around here with eyeglasses but they stopped.  Also try the shriners...

Oh jeez, I don't know. I'd be taxed up the *SS for that wouldn't I? Not sure it would be worth it, and it would kill me inside a little to do that since that's all I have saved for retirement/college expenses, etc. 

Yep and a penalty but if its not really worth much.... 

KatieLG04

See if your state has Katie Beckett insurance.  It's like your state insurance, but it's for families who don't qualify based on income, but the kids have high needs which require expensive medical care.  You pay a portion of the premiums based on your income.  It is worth a shot.  I know ME and NH both have this program, so I think it's national.

mamarazzi

Ugh. I'm so sorry. It's so unfair. 

Ruby doesn't qualify either, except for some program that offsets the costs if we have more than x-amount in medical expenses in one month. The amount? Over $4k. Bogus.  I suppose at least it will help a little if she gets a cochlear implant. 

We have also been told to contact Shriners and Lions Club. Our services coordinator recommended including photos with a personal letter. 

Sorry, girl. It's just not right that you can't get help with those medical costs. Ridiculous.  

mkaltsas

I'm not sure what is available for your state but do you know if there are waiver programs there. We have the ID waiver (intellectual disability) waiver that provide kids and adults with services. I have a kiddo on my caseload that gets respite services. She is 3 and gets respite services. Someone (her grandma) comes into her home and "watches" her. This works if at least one parent is not working at the time. By enrolling in the waiver program you are enrolled into medicaid. My 3 year old that I have, her parents are dentists and I know they have a lot of assets. You have to have cognitive testing and be diagnosed with MR. Maybe look into it and see if something similar is available in your state. She had her leg braces paid for through medicaid dollars and it is her secondary insurance.

StickMom09

Try the Lions club! Also if you have a Junior Auxiliary, try them too! It might be worth a shot to call your local school and speak to the counselor about any groups that could help you out. I'm a school counselor and we have several groups that have offered to help when needed. A lot are for glasses, but I don't see why some might not be able to help with other medical expenses. If I can think of any other organizations, I'll post them.

Rebekah1021

So sorry ((hugs)). I agree that the shriners would be a worth a shot.

warriormomerin

You might want to try contacting your local Children's Hospital to see if they have any personal donors who would be interested in helping Miles.

I have a young cousin who has a NF and Children's set his family up with a sponsor (I think he might have been a Shriner) who was willing to help them pay for travel and lodging so they could participate in a research study out of state. I imagine there are people like that who specifically want to help DS families.

cooker71

-auntie-:

shopgirl78:

I was thinking more on the lines, is it worth it to cash out the 401k and then put it in a special needs trust.  I don't know how much its worth or how much you want to hold onto it.  Fortunately, Texas doesn't count them or homes as an asset.   

They may.  The used to help around here with eyeglasses but they stopped.  Also try the shriners...

I second the Shriners.

Moving the 401K to a SN Trust for Miles would screw Cooker- she couldn't use monies sheltered for him. 401 is retirement; Miles will likely qualify for SSI at 18 when his parents' assets are no longer considered.

I know people who have moved to more civilized states in order to get access to a Katie Becket Waiver. PA had no wait list when DS qualified and DH was bringing in 6 figures. I have friends in CA and MA who are happy with what they get through state insurnace programs. I hear TX has ridiculous wait lists- one friend's son died before he qualified.

I have never heard of Katie Becket coverage in Minnesota, though I'll look it up. 

belle204

Girl, don't get me started. I was pretty much told once I should just work part-time or not at all and I'd qualify for stuff. Um, right. I ripped her a new one. I'm so sorry. (((hugs)))

jettagurl

Also try calling your Township Trustee offices.  They can help with other bills (utilites/water/phone/rent) while you pay the medical. I believe it is state/local grant money they use to assist people. 

Another idea is to contact churches. I don't know what your faith is, but they often don't care. Many will have a "Benevolent" fund, and others will have a "Community" fund.  This is money raised specifically for community needs and member needs....so especially check into churches where you have friends that would 'refer' you.  I used to be on a board for a Benevolent fund.  We almost always sent non-members to the Township Trustees offices first, and wanted to know that this is an occasional thing (don't go in there 5-6 mos late, but being proactive about having a hard month) and with a plan and desire to get on track (not saying you aren't, just criteria). If a member brought you in, they may just help you out based on their members' referral of need - so ask around to any friends that may be members to see if they could put you in contact with someone.  If they can't help you, they often have TONS of resources.....wealthy members, local groups, youth groups often fund raise for injured or disabled children, and men's/women's group would take a special donation if you write a letter to them.  Be honest and upfront, and if you get to the right church, they will bend over backwards to take care of you.  

cooker71

It's so dumb, but I just feel awful asking like a hospital or a charity group or a city council or something for money.

I don't know if it's a pride thing or what, but I just don't even know how to start a conversation. I'd feel like a loser, and that they'd automatically ask why I didn't ask for help elsewhere first or something.  

warriormomerin

cooker71:

It's so dumb, but I just feel awful asking like a hospital or a charity group or a city council or something for money.

I don't know if it's a pride thing or what, but I just don't even know how to start a conversation. I'd feel like a loser, and that they'd automatically ask why I didn't ask for help elsewhere first or something.  

You're not asking for help for yourself, although there's nothing wrong with that. You're asking for help for your kid. I know it's hard and I know it sucks, but if there are people out there who are willing to help don't let your pride get in the way.

jettagurl

cooker71:

It's so dumb, but I just feel awful asking like a hospital or a charity group or a city council or something for money.

I don't know if it's a pride thing or what, but I just don't even know how to start a conversation. I'd feel like a loser, and that they'd automatically ask why I didn't ask for help elsewhere first or something.  

You would be AMAZED at who filed request forms.  Seriously.  Some of the best-dressed, snootiest people were months behind in utilities because they were too busy buying shoes to match their 10 new outfits.  

It is humbling, no doubt, but there is money there.  As a board member, I'd much rather give money to you for a child's medical needs than to a 40-something able bodied male that should be spend hours filing out job apps.  

Really, there are some great church secretaries out there that would love to help you get where you need.  Type up a letter, pop in, and see if there is someone you can talk to.  Send if you want.  It's not always a bunch of stuffy old men, either.  When I was on the board, we were all under 40, all with young kids.  It would have been a no-brainer for us, honestly.  Then if you get the chance to pay it back, you can. Think of this as being for Miles, and not for yourself.  

On a side note, did you ask if the brace company has financial assistance? Esp if they are connected to a major hospital, or they may have some contacts for you to call.

 

Rebekah1021

I would also try the United Way and the Salvation Army. If they can't help, they can get you in touch with people. 

 

PoundCake

I know its a financial stretch, but do you and your ex both have the kids on your insurance plans? Sometimes what the primary doesn't pay, the secondary picks up a part also.

surprise3rd

Also are you sure that the 401K counts against you?  In many states that $$$ does not count as assets.  The assets are the value of an owned car, value of home equity and actual cash available in a savings/checking account.  Just wanted to double check, because if it is the 401K that is causing your denial that may not be accurate.

MirandaHobbes

cooker71:

-auntie-:

shopgirl78:

I was thinking more on the lines, is it worth it to cash out the 401k and then put it in a special needs trust.  I don't know how much its worth or how much you want to hold onto it.  Fortunately, Texas doesn't count them or homes as an asset.   

They may.  The used to help around here with eyeglasses but they stopped.  Also try the shriners...

I second the Shriners.

Moving the 401K to a SN Trust for Miles would screw Cooker- she couldn't use monies sheltered for him. 401 is retirement; Miles will likely qualify for SSI at 18 when his parents' assets are no longer considered.

I know people who have moved to more civilized states in order to get access to a Katie Becket Waiver. PA had no wait list when DS qualified and DH was bringing in 6 figures. I have friends in CA and MA who are happy with what they get through state insurnace programs. I hear TX has ridiculous wait lists- one friend's son died before he qualified.

I have never heard of Katie Becket coverage in Minnesota, though I'll look it up. 

We have "katie becket" here in MN (called MA TEFRA)- when I filled out the paperwork for DS we qualified but the parent copay was extraordinary- more than the cost of his daycare. I assume you already filled this out, if you haven't I'd definitely check it out. I'd also talk to ARC or Pacer.

cooker71

MirandaHobbes:

cooker71:

-auntie-:

shopgirl78:

I was thinking more on the lines, is it worth it to cash out the 401k and then put it in a special needs trust.  I don't know how much its worth or how much you want to hold onto it.  Fortunately, Texas doesn't count them or homes as an asset.   

They may.  The used to help around here with eyeglasses but they stopped.  Also try the shriners...

I second the Shriners.

Moving the 401K to a SN Trust for Miles would screw Cooker- she couldn't use monies sheltered for him. 401 is retirement; Miles will likely qualify for SSI at 18 when his parents' assets are no longer considered.

I know people who have moved to more civilized states in order to get access to a Katie Becket Waiver. PA had no wait list when DS qualified and DH was bringing in 6 figures. I have friends in CA and MA who are happy with what they get through state insurnace programs. I hear TX has ridiculous wait lists- one friend's son died before he qualified.

I have never heard of Katie Becket coverage in Minnesota, though I'll look it up. 

We have "katie becket" here in MN (called MA TEFRA)- when I filled out the paperwork for DS we qualified but the parent copay was extraordinary- more than the cost of his daycare. I assume you already filled this out, if you haven't I'd definitely check it out. I'd also talk to ARC or Pacer.

Ah yes, I have heard of that program here. And yes I have looked into it. Same thing re: the copay unfortunately.