Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
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Is it true the second child is worse than the first???
With everything? Everyone I have talked to with 2 kids says that if you had #2 child first, you would have only had one child. Because they are worse teethers, sleepers, potty trainers, etc.?
We have been some of the lucky ones who have had a fairly easy first child, and I find some days are rough, so I am really afraid to have another one and have it worse.......Ugh. We want a second, and I guess I just need to prepare myself to expect it to be worse, if that is usually the case.
But, would LOVE to hear stories of people who have 2 or more "easy" kids!
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Re: Is it true the second child is worse than the first???
DD2 (b. 9/04/2013)
BFP 2/25/12, m/c @ 6w 3d || BFP 8/1/12, m.m/c @ 9w5d
This almost exactly, except with my SIL. Her first is very high needs. Her second is almost one of the easiest babies I've ever seen. Really the only time he will cry is if he is all out ravenously hungry. Other than that, he just hangs out, plays with toys on his own, sleeps well, etc.
http://lb2f.lilypie.com/50jBm6.png
http://lb4f.lilypie.com/MzTAm6.png
I found the learning curb was roughest going from none to one. My second child was the easiest child, and I always considered my first the difficult one but I have been getting better and better, so it wasn't until I actually sat down and thought about it, that I realised #3 is my biggest handful and was waaaaay worse than ther other two were and they were considered "spirited." Alasdair doesn't sleep, doesn't eat anything but bm from an actual boob, can escape from his high chair/shopping carts, climbs everything, hates being put down or being put into a carrier... the list goes on and on, but he seems easier because I've gotten better at parenting them. Parenting is like any job; the longer you do it the better you are at dealing with them. KWIM?
I'm still pretty new to the 2 kids club but so far this isn't true for us. DD is great! She has actually been a lot easier than my son.
DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)
Not true at all in my case. My son was a very difficult newborn, infant and toddler, and DD is literally the easiest child on earth.
My mom said my sister was just bad for the first 3 months. Then she was super easy (I was apparently very easy).
My MIL said #1 was just okay. #2 (DH) was horrible and #3 and #4 were great.
DD was no walk in the park, I keep telling this baby all the things he is welcome to do (and a few he can avoid). So far he's 10 times calmer in utero, I have my fingers crossed for good things. Not that I don't love DD's spirit, I just didn't so much love the never sleeping ever and the screaming if not held 24/7. She's much more fun now than she was that first year.
It's been true for us. I had worse m/s, she's always been a horrible sleeper, very clingy and lots of separation anxiety and was a fussy newborn. DD1 never had any of those problems.
But I of course wouldn't change it for the world, but adjusting to two kids was way harder for me then adjusting to having one kid.
I felt like adjusting to 2 was a lot harder than adjusting to 1. You don't get to catch up on sleep, nap when the baby naps etc. Dd has been "harder" than Ds. I don't technically think she is a difficult baby, but she likes to stay up late and is overall very needy. I think maybe its just being a girl, but she had quite the attitude already. Ds was just overall very easy and slept 12 hours from 1 month on, and never stopped. Teething was never a issue with Ds either, molars were the only teeth that seemed to bother him. Dd is popping her first tooth now, and OMG she is a beast!
My first was a very hard baby to deal with. Colic, trouble breastfeeding, jaundice, didn't sleep more than a few hours at a time until 5-6 months,constantly sick, terrible two's started at 10 months and all around high maintenance child. My second child is so easy going. She's a good eater, sleeper, very well behaved and mild mannered, and always in a good mood.
My mom says that it was the same with us kids. The first (me) was very difficuld, much like my first child. The second, my sister, was a good baby, aside from being a bit of a night owl. The third, my brother, was definately the last because he was the most difficult child, even worse than when i was a baby. Makes me scared to have a third! LOL
DS was much more difficult than DD. He had terrible colic and screamed 4-5 hours non stop every evening for about 3 months. It took us 3 months to sleep train him using the Ferber method. All my friend would talk about how their kids cried 20-30 minutes the first few nights and then they were set. He cried 3 hours every night for the first month (we went in every 20 minutes for 3 hours). We didn't even want to CIO, but we tried every single sleep training method out there. I finally just had to do it because I was getting nervous that my lack of sleep would affect my job performance (which in turn would affect many sick kids). We have been potty training for 8 months. He's finally starting to get it.
DD slept 6 straight hours while we were still in the hospital and was sleeping 12 hours straight, not even waking to feed, by 1 month (she was a big baby and gained back her weight the first week) . Her sleep lessened at night as she got older, but we never had to sleep train her.
But if your first was super easy, I guess the second may seem harder even if they're more on the "normal" spectrum.
DD#1 was so easy for everything. DD#2 is pretty easy, but has GERD and a milk protein allergy. She is uncomfortable after eating, spits up 24/7, needs 2 different meds and expensive formula. She is always happy though and has been sleeping 10+ hours at night since 4 weeks.
DH and I are the oldest in our families and our mom's said we were both easy babies. My middle sister and DH's middle brother were both difficult babies that needed lots of attention.
my read shelf:
This was not the case with my DS. He is STILL a much better sleeper than my DD. He was a "worse" teether, but with my DD, she'd wake up with new teeth and you'd be like, oh, cool. She never had any symptoms. My DS sometimes needed some Tylenol or something but that's about it.
As for potty training, we're not there yet with my DS but I imagine it will be harder with him, mostly because he's a little boy!
I thought my first was such an "easy" baby until I had my 2nd. My 2nd was much easier than my first. #3 was rough because he had colic but after that he was an absolutely wonderful little boy - slept great, potty training, etc. #4 and #5 are pretty easy going. Sleeping has been rough with #5.
I think every kid is different. You have no idea what their personalities are going to be, and you have to decide if it's a risk you are willing to take. You should be a better mom with #2 than you were with #1 because you have some experience. It probably won't be easy but it's wort it.
The exact opposite for us. DS1 has been our "problem" child. I was so confident having #2 b/c I knew he HAD to be easier than #1. He is.
Not true for us. Our DD was an easy baby, but our DS is even easier. He started STTN early on, but it was in his swing. At 5.5 months we started to transition him to his crib, and try to break him of swaddling. It was a breeze. We didn't have any issues!
He ditched the bottle at 8 months, and it took DD until 15 months. He was a really happy baby, and now he is a really happy toddler. He only throws fits when I don't get him his food fast enough. He listens and picks up his toys as soon as I ask. He clears his plate after eating, which I think is funny. The kids sit at a kids picnic table in our kitchen, and when he is done, he will throw his dishes in the sick and put any trash in the trash can. I love it!
Its making it really hard for me to stick to my original plan of only having 2.
I think it's also human nature for people who experience a more difficult child the second go-round to "warn" those who seem to have a relatively easy experience with their first.
Mom to Carter (6), and Calianne (1).
Proud VBAC, natural birth, breastfeeding, cloth diapering momma!
Yeah, exactly.
I posted and then thought, "That is way too nice."
I often think that people just want others to experience their misery.
DS2 is a lot easier than DS1. I think a lot of it is simply the fact that he loves to watch DS1, so he's always somewhat entertained.
I think the age differences between the children can also play a large part in this.
DS1 was the most easy going baby EVER. He didn't care if he was being held or by whom, or if he was on the floor, or in his swing. He STTN at an early age, but I can't remember how old specifically. He very rarely cried. Now, he's almost 3 years old and a holy terror!
DS2 was a little more difficult as an infant. He had reflux and was pretty colicky for the first 3ish months. Now he's the happier of the 2. He's a lot more whiney, but I think that's more because he doesn't have a lot of words yet so he can't really tell us what he wants. I'd say they switched it up on me pretty good.