Traditional Child Support vs. Shared Expense Plan

STLamy

Does anyone have experience using a shared expense plan rather than traditional child support?  We will have 50-50 custody and I am just curious if a SEP is going to cause more issues than child support. 

The plan is to collect reciepts for all child related expenses and then get together twice a year and even things up for whoever spent more during that time period.

JCGreene85

I wouldn't. The last thing I want to worry about is saving all my receipts. Would you have to ring up all LO's expenses separately? Would you sit down with a mediator 2x a year? How old is LO? 

FormerlyAK

If you are on friendly enough terms, can't you just have your paperwork writen up to say something like "we each pay necessary expenses when we have child; any extra expenses we split." This is what ex and I do and it is much easier than nickle and diming each other. An extra expense would be something like soccer registration fees or when our dog (which we also share still) got really sick and cost $500 at the vet, we each paid half.

STLamy

LO will be 2 in April. 

The way it reads right now (but we don't go to court until April) is that each parent is responsible for half of expenses (all of those expenses are outlined in the agreement) and we get together twice a year to even things up.  I just think that I will be buying most of his clothes and things like that.  I do see the possibility of issues arrising from things I buy that STBX doesn't agree with.

My question is if I persue traditional child support and we have 50/50 custody how does that work?  Does he pay me and then I buy everything LO needs?  What if STBX buys something for LO?  Does he get to subtract that amount from what he pays to me?

CFjo2010

Generally when a CO says that extra expenses are split 50/50, that's regarding medical expenses, dental expenses, child care fees, and possibly extracurriculars. Not clothes. Both parents should buy clothes for their homes and not be "reimbursed" later. I foresee all sorts of problems with asking for reimbursement or clothing purchases. If he's buying expensive name brand clothing and you're shopping at Target, you have to "settle up" later? Seems silly to me and invites arguing later. 

 

JCGreene85

Ya if I dress my kid in 90% Ralph Lauren and he's buying Target I can see problems trying to settle up. He is supposed to pay me X amount in CS that covers everything. If he chooses to buy Wy $200 extra in birthday or Christmas gifts he doesn't subtract that out of CS..it's just extra. 

FyreFlyeRush

alibabbbs:

I don't know anything about it, but that sounds like an awful idea.

Ditto. But, I wouldn't have gone for a 50/50 split anyway. Most states are starting to see this is bad for the child. Especially when they hit school age. 

CBKMRB

I don't know anyone who has done as SEP.  Just curious why you have come up with this arrangement?  Also, why 50-50 custody?  I'm sorry for the questions, I've just never seen an arrangement like this before.

Traditional Child Support is much easier IMO.

STLamy

We are doing all the paperwork ourselves (which means that I have done all the paperwork) but I was able to get at "document review" with my state's legal services.  That lawyer told me that if we are not doing child support than we need to have a Shared Expense Plan.  She said that the judges really like to see that so they know we have thought about how we will share the expense of raising our child.  She also gave me several examples to work from.  I didn't know it was so uncommon.

 The reason for 50-50 custody is that we both want to be an equal part of our son's life.  My stbx is a good dad, it just didn't work out between us.  I am sure the arrangement will change over the years as our son gets older and starts school but for right now I don't see the harm in 50-50 custody. 

Anyone else that has 50-50 custody, how do you do the financial aspects?