please tell me what I'm doing wrong

kmm2150

I cannot stop feeling like I must be doing something wrong. LO is almost 4 weeks, and for the past week we cannot get her to sleep at all during the day - she'll nurse, maybe doze off for 5-10 minutes in my arms, but before I can even try to put her down to nap, she's awake again. I feel like our whole day is nothing but eating and screaming.  However, when my mom comes over she is somehow able to get LO to sit quietly for long stretches of time without fussing, and to patiently wait long stretches of time between feedings, whereas with me she's no sooner done with one than she's ready to eat again. Just feeling like I'm doing something wrong.

Brit's Luna154

Let me preface this with an "I know almost zero about babies"...

I think she might be patient with your mom because your mom doesn't have the milk, you do.

Other thoughts based on my LO's interactions with me and my family: Is your mom able to burp her more effectively? Also, does your mom feel less tense when holding her? You might feel tense because you're anticipating the scream fest, while your mom has not endured hours of on and off screaming so she might feel more relaxed.

SoonToBeMsP

Brit's Luna154:

Let me preface this with an "I know almost zero about babies"...

I think she might be patient with your mom because your mom doesn't have the milk, you do.

Other thoughts based on my LO's interactions with me and my family: Is your mom able to burp her more effectively? Also, does your mom feel less tense when holding her? You might feel tense because you're anticipating the scream fest, while your mom has not endured hours of on and off screaming so she might feel more relaxed.

This was going to be my answer. LO knows you are the provider of nourishment, whereas your mom is just a loving person that holds her.

DD calms down whenever I pick her up, regardless if it was to feed her or not. With DH, she is calm a lot of the time, but sometimes it takes me to pacify her. I fully believe it's because I've got "the goodies". 

Huahine

What Brit and Mrs P said.  If I can't get LO to settle, I pass him over to DH, who usually has much more luck.  I think LO associates me with the milk, and if he is going through a growth spurt or looking to comfort suck, there is no way I can get him to sleep because he knows I have the good stuff. 

You aren't doing anything wrong.  Just be glad that you have non-lactators around to take over on occasion.  

Jess084

I was going to say everything PPs have said. My LO definitely associates me with milk. I have much better luck getting him back to sleep in the middle of the night if DH puts him back down after I feed him. Otherwise he won't hardly even get drowsy in my arms.

JWSchwarz

Could be worse, she could be awake all NIGHT and sleep all day like my LO:)

lorahbora

JWSchwarz:

Could be worse, she could be awake all NIGHT and sleep all day like my LO:)

 

This!! My baby will go 2-3 hours without eating during the day, then once midnight hits, it's every hour. On top of that, once she's done, she'll start to doze, then the second I put her down, she starts making noises that eventually escalate into a wail and tons of rooting and acting like she's hungry. I'm not sure what to do about it either. Even if she's just eaten and I pick her up, she starts rooting, knowing I'm her milk source. I wish she could just hang out with me without associating it with eating every single time.