Worried about DD when I give birth

tangerinesky6

DD is 14 months and will be 18 months when #2 is born. I'm worried how things will be when I give birth! We lived in CA and for 2 years and for the first 12 months od DD's life she was around me or my husband, my family is in FL. I'm in FL now because my husband is deployed and I'm having my baby here. My daughter isn't use to her family and just now got use to my mom. I liked my experience of having just my husband there but there is talk he won't be there for #2 and so the next best would be my mom, but I know my daughter is comfortable with her so I was thinking of having my aunt there so my mom can watch DD. But I know she'll probably want to be there....I'm just confused and really worried about DD.  I don't want a ton of people there after I give birth and I don't know how to bring that up without offending anyone.  Help!

BeckyTheEngineer

At the same age, it took my daughter about a week to really warm up to someone new, and be comfortable with that person as a caregiver.  As long as you give your daughter some time in the next few months with whoever you choose, she really will be fine with any of the people you are considering.  I would say to pick your first choice for you in the delivery room, and the next person can care for your daughter. 

My husband brought my 17 month old to the hospital about 5 hours after DD2 was born, and then brought her the next day.  There really wasn't that much time that I didn't get to see her (with someone else around, of course).

sweetpea2003

You have time. 

As a military spouse I can totally empathize with how deployments mess with plans.  If I were in your shoes I would also want my mom with me during L&D if my DH wasn't going to be there.  So with that in mind, I would definitely spend the next few months getting your daughter acclimated with a sitter or family member. 

YOU are going to be the one going through the physically and emotionally stressful/demanding few days with the labor, delivery, and getting to know your newborn.  To your DD, it will just be any other day.  So in my mind, you need to have your mom and your DD can have whoever you think is second best. 

Talk to your family about your fears.  Ask around about good sitters.  Maybe start having someone come once per week to watch your DD.  THis would give you some time out of the house alone (which IMO is important during deployments) and some time for your LO to start warming up to someone.  That way in 20 weeks when you need a sitter, your LO is happy and comfortable and so are you.