Would you be comfortable with... (N3TR)

sarah_e87

Just curious how many of you would be comfortable with your significant other going to a strip club?

DH came home tonight and didn't know how to tell me that his coworkers are wanting to throw him a going away party this month before he has to report to his new facility. He didn't know how to tell me because his coworkers want to go to the local strip club for his "going away" party. DH looked at me like I was on crack when I told him I was fine with it, but if he was going to be drinking (which I know he's going to), I had to drop him off/pick him up because neither one of us will drive if we've had even one drink.

Was just wondering if I'm alone in not caring if DH goes to the strip club.

Google76

I think I'd be the same to be honest ... If its a one off then fine ... If DH wanted to go every weekend then we'd have "a chat" about it !!!

10-4LilBuddy

I agree.  I have no problem with it if he goes every once in a while and with a group for an event.  Going solo or every weekend would be weird because it's no longer a social thing.

eponine7682

I am not sure. I always said I would be okay with it (I thought he would go to one for his bachelor party, but they ended up going to a comedy show instead). But when the time came, I am not sure how I would feel. I guess once is okay, but he would have to promise not to get any lap dances or anything. That would be going too far.

ec0983

i'm not okay with it.  call me old fashioned, but i should be the only naked lady he sees... or wants to see.  fortunately, he agrees with me.  he had gone a handful of times before we were together and said they were mostly just depressing.

Trish11278

I would only have a problem with it if it was an ongoing thing.  One time for a going away party, I wouldn't have a problem with it.  I would be honest with him and tell him that I wasn't comfortable with lap dances but I wouldn't be mad if his cooworkers bought him one.  (if that makes any sense)

Mnerani

DH and I believe that since we are married, our sexuality is reserved for each other and each other only. Seeing another naked (or mostly naked) woman will always create a sexual response for a man, whether he acts on it or not (and I'm sure yours wouldn't!). We agree that those responses should be reserved for me, and vice versa- that's just our perspective.

mandyandmike2009

I wouldn't have a problem. He went to one for bachelor party and he still has friends that aren't married so I'm sure he will go for their bachelor parties too.

mnj05

I would have a problem with it for reasons mentioned about reserving sexual situations for me and him only. I know he wouldn't do anything but his friends and brothers on the other hand would pay for things like lap dances that I would not feel comfortable with.

katib77

I would be fine with it.  I had gone to one years ago before I met my DH for my going away/Boss's birthday party (We got to go some place I wanted for my going away part of the night and Boss got to choose where to go for his birthday LOL - it was an odd group of sales people!) PP is right, that for the most part, it's just kind of sad.  And I'm ashamed to admit, a funny place to mock people. 

DH was supposed to go to one in Vegas for his bachelor party but they started drinking so early in the day that he was passed out in his hotel room before midnight and never made it. LOL.  As long as it's a once in a blue moon type event, fine.

Jules10

ec0983:

i'm not okay with it.  call me old fashioned, but i should be the only naked lady he sees... or wants to see.  fortunately, he agrees with me.  he had gone a handful of times before we were together and said they were mostly just depressing.

This

BethanyB2609

Trish11278:

I would only have a problem with it if it was an ongoing thing.  One time for a going away party, I wouldn't have a problem with it.  I would be honest with him and tell him that I wasn't comfortable with lap dances but I wouldn't be mad if his cooworkers bought him one.  (if that makes any sense)

This exactly.  

btaylor19

I have no problems with DH going to strip clubs as long as he doesn't spend too much money.  Those places get spendy

emmypants

ec0983:

i'm not okay with it.  call me old fashioned, but i should be the only naked lady he sees... or wants to see.  fortunately, he agrees with me.  he had gone a handful of times before we were together and said they were mostly just depressing.

I could have written this

ec0983

i'll be honest, i usually feel like i'm in the minority on this subject.  i've always gotten flamed for being a "prude" for feeling this way.  glad to see i'm not the only one!  and one more reason why i love this board- no harsh words or judgements have come from either side

farmerlynda

Mnerani:

DH and I believe that since we are married, our sexuality is reserved for each other and each other only. Seeing another naked (or mostly naked) woman will always create a sexual response for a man, whether he acts on it or not (and I'm sure yours wouldn't!). We agree that those responses should be reserved for me, and vice versa- that's just our perspective.

  I wouldn't mind if we went to a burlesque show or something together.  We certainly watch movies and TV shows (not porn) that involve plenty of female nudity and sexuality.  

But going to a strip club without me... no.  And a lap dance would really feel like a violation of our marriage. 

FWIW, I'm hypersensitive to perceived "cheating" -- my parents' marriage fell apart spectacularly because of my father's wandering eye.  It completely traumatized me as a child and so I think it has made me more old-fashioned in my marriage.  If that hadn't happened, I might feel differently.

SteFizzRich

I'm totally fine with my DH going for a special occasion/ celebration. If he were going every week, by himself, it would be a different story.

Luckily for me, I don't really have to worry about it. The idea of going to a strip club freaks out my DH more that it does me. His friends had to push quite hard to get him to go for his own bachelor party.

sarah_e87

DH's coworkers are all bachelors and don't have wives/girlfriends to go home to. Heck, his coworkers have invited me to go to the strip club with them on occasion. This is the first time DH has brought up going while we've been married.

When we first started dating, he went a few times...And then shared with me that his neighbor worked at the club he would frequent as a stripper, but stopped going when I told him that I wasn't comfortable with his neighbor stripping for him.