Question for those pregnant with their second child

katmacwv

Reading the post about plans for the first child while in the hospital made me think about what we can do for DD around this time this LO's birth to include her.  Our house is only a few minutes from the hospital, so it should be fine splitting time between daycare (which she LOVES) and the hospital during the day.  I don't want to shower her with gifts, but I do want to make sure she feels special and included.  What are you planning to do for your first child around the time of the birth to make sure he/she feels included and special?

Embracetheday

I'm not too sure yet, but am anxious to hear what others say.  DS will only be 2, so he doesn't really get what is going on.  We are moving and I was hoping to try and involve him in making a special room for his new brother or sister - encourage him to pick which toys he should give to the baby, set up the old swings, etc.

 

SWBs Wifey

New Baby Boy is going to give C a present when he first comes to visit.  One of the things we're doing is taking him to all appointments at the birth center so he can get used to it and not be scared or nervous about it in any way, shape, or form.  We'll also plan a daily (or every OTHER day) activity for him to go out and spend time alone with Dad (probably, since I hear the midwives don't like for new moms to leave the house for the first two weeks- I don't think I'll actually survive that) or other special visitors we have.  

kincaid44

We live over an hour from our hospital, so she will be going with us to the hospital.  My mom will meet us there and they two of them will stay in the lobby until the baby gets here.  As soon as baby is out, someone will bring her in.  I want her to be the first one other than my husband and I to meet her new baby brother!

stemms8810

I haven't given it too much thought but I know I would like her to visit with us as much as possible while in the hospital.  We will be there a few days because of a planned c-section.  I think it will help to let her help as much as possible with a diaper change or feeding so she feels included.  My DD is 5 and she has already talked about how much she wants to help so I figure letting her help when she can will have her feel included.  I think a small gift for being a good big sister could be nice as well.

wedsept

We read her "I'm going to be a big sister" book every night.

During the hospital stay, when she comes to visit (which will be everyday because I don't want her to think her parents abandoned her for the new baby), I plan on having us spend a couple hours alone as a family.  I plan to tell her that her little brother got her the fisher-price medical kit (so she isn't scared of her mommy being in the hospital) and a toddler camera (so she can take pictures of her little brother) as a present.  Maybe a couple books too.  Then, the rest of our other family could come by.

I am not sure what else to do.

ks3pink

I'm going to let her help me get the nursery ready before the baby gets here and if our hospital still offers the big brother/big sister class I am going to sign her up for that.  When the baby gets here she will probably spend the night with my mom and day with my step-grandma since DH will be back and forth to the hospital with me and the baby.  Once we come home she will be with us and I will let her help when she can (if she wants to, she is quite a moody 6 year old here lately).

ETA: She will definitely visit us in the hospitaln probably once a day. 

WiFeY 4 LiFeY

DS will be at home with his Auntie while DH, my mom, and MIL will be with me. I dont mind if DS is at the hospital for a little before I have DS2, but once I feel pain I want him gone. Then after I have DS2 I want DS1 to come and meet his brother. I will have a little gift from the new baby. I dont really want DS1 to spend a lot of time at the hospital, I know it wont be fun for him...

marielovestimothy03

My older DD was only 16.5 months when DD2 was born so she was much younger. My mom flew in the night before I was induced with DD2 and kept DD1 with her at my Aunt & Uncle's house (they live 5 minutes away) for pretty much the first week. She spoiled her like crazy, haha. She brought her to the hospital for about 30-60 minutes every day we were there (any longer would've been too much at that age) and I would spend time over there or my mom would bring DD1 over to our place for a bit during the day which was nice but it also gave me plenty of time to just be with DD2 and recover and get started with nursing and such. My husband was on nights then so he was sleeping during the day and working all night so it was especially nice to have her help since I'm pretty much on my own during his work week and he has a job that he really needs to sleep for so that's priority for him.

It'll be different this time. Not quite sure how everything will work out but I'm hoping to have some help from my mom again and DH is now on days so we see him a lot more. Since the girls will be older (especially DD1) I'll probably do little presents for them from the baby. I'll want them to come visit in the hospital too but not for very long, maybe an hour a day tops. That's plenty IMO. 

libra31

WiFeY 4 LiFeY:

Then after I have DS2 I want DS1 to come and meet his brother. I will have a little gift from the new baby. I dont really want DS1 to spend a lot of time at the hospital, I know it wont be fun for him...

I think this is perfect.  I was an L&D RN for years and kids get bored in the hospital. The rooms are small, there's not much entertainment and generally 30 minutes a day is long enough.

 I say keep their routine as normal as possible.  If she loves daycare then send her for the day as you usually would and let DH bring her up afterwards.  Maybe he could pick up a special dinner or snack for her to have up there.

For those of you with young siblings (in the 1-2yr range) it sometimes scares them to see their mom in a gown, in bed and be meeting a new baby.  Just know its totally normal if they don't run to you, want too sit on your lap ect.

Josie22

He's going to hang out with his grandparents when we're at the hospital. He is so excited about being a big brother. He talks about getting to hold him all the time. So I won't be getting him a special gift from little brother. All he wants is his baby

catracha80

I just made my first quilt for DS (he's 2 1/2) and bought some new material to start making the baby one.  I have already shown the material to DS and will include him in the process.  He was so excited and this will be his gift to his little brother.  I think the medical kit idea from the new baby is a fantastic idea!  Or any small gift for the big bro.  We plan on having my mom watch him and make his day as normal as possible.  If it's during the week, he'll go to daycare.  When baby arrives, we want him to meet LO at the hospital.  My husband and I are picking out 2 names for DS to choose from and letting him name his brother.  I think this will make him feel special too.  That's his little guy too.

KatFCo

DD is 4 and will be almost 5 when baby is born, so I'm trying to involve her in the pregnancy--talking about what's going on. She's constantly asking me how big the baby is, how he feels right now, and I show her about what he looks like or what might be going on right now.

We're also signing her up for a sibling class at the hospital, where they get to go see where mom and baby will be and learn about taking care of a new baby.

jandb2011

We are planning to take the sibling class at our hospital to help DS know what to expect, once LO is born, and we also talk to him about it as well.  He understands that it will be awhile before he has a playmate.

We also plan to have the LO give him a "big brother" gift, when he meets her at the hospital for the first time.  He'll be old enough (6yrs, when LO is born) that we're gonna let him decide how long he wants to "hang-out" at the hospital.  He had nightmares after he saw me all groggy from being put under for out-patient surgery, last summer, so we feel it's best to just go with what he's comfortable with (and I fully accept that he may want to sleep at the hospital w/ us after LO is born...he's just that way).

The only other thing we're considering, is having a "big brother" bbq at our house about a month after LO is born (with NO gifts)....but we haven't decided on that yet, and haven't mentioned anything to him either.

mommygrams0730

my parents all out spoil our son (he was their first grandchild) so my dad has already decided to buy him a power wheels 4 wheeler. 2 summers ago my dad bought him a power wheels john deer lawn mower. we spend a lot of time at their cabin in the summers so it'll be a treat for him to play with it when we're there after the baby comes. our son knows he's getting the 4 wheeler and i think that's the only reason he's excited for the baby to come....otherwise he says he doesn't want the baby to come out, lol!

EMOmamma

My son is too little to really understand so we won't do anything special, just try to keep his life as normal as possible.  But my hospital does a "birthday party" when older siblings come to visit the first time with a big balloon & cupcake.

bugsycar

Our 2nd DD was born when our 1st DD was almost 3 years old.  A few days after we got home from the hospital, we had a small "big sister party".  A few gifts just for her, a cake, and decorated the table with some princess things.  She loved it and felt special.

Timeg

My oldest was a lot younger when I had my second (almost 17 months of age), but we made her a little big sis pack with things she liked (a new toy - baby doll and accessories so she could have something to care for while I nursed/cared for baby, snacks, etc.) and then brought her up to the hospital regularly to see her new sister. She was the most frequent visitor! We let her "hold" the baby every chance we got. While in labor and during the c-section that followed, she was with my dad and other family members who spent the time getting her excited about being a big sister.

 It worked great! We didn't have the jealousy issues people warned us about because we really spent the entire hospital stay bringing her in and emphasizing how important her big sister role was. Jealousy didn't set in until our youngest daughter started playing with our oldest daughter's toys .