How do you feel about honoring family name traditions?

dresthelpless

My DH, his father and his grandfather are all named Joseph Harry Jones...

DH has always been adament about having a Joseph Harry Jones IV. But, I must admit that I HATE the name "Harry." HOWEVER, being that my father in law past away just this last Christmas I feel it is definitely in the cards to honor his name.

How do you all feel about family name traditions?

mishfull

Some I like, some I dislike. In my family my Grandfather, Father and Brother are all Roberts, different nicknames and different middle names - I've always liked that. But if you extremely dislike the name your husband wants to pass on then I think it should be discussed. 

In your case, Harry would be the middle name and rarely used. I know you mention he's adamant about having a 4th, would he compromise with Joseph Different Middle Name Jones? 

526SadieSadie

You need to discuss this with your DH.  It's your child, too and you have every right to have input on what your child's name is. 

I would never name my child something I hated, tradition or not. 

If you dislike Harry, would you compromise with Joseph as a middle name with a first name that you can agree upon?

TheWop

526SadieSadie:

You need to discuss this with your DH.  It's your child, too and you have every right to have input on what your child's name is. 

I would never name my child something I hated, tradition or not. 

If you dislike Harry, would you compromise with Joseph as a middle name with a first name that you can agree upon?

Ditto this.  Or what about using the same initials? 

scoutkate

This is an UO on this board, but I like them.  I'm all for IIIs, IVs, etc.

dresthelpless

Some of you may have missed that last part I said.

Considering his father past away recently I now feel that I actually want to give my child the name...in his honor. My father in law was a great man. Even if I'm not crazy about the middle name. But like you said, the middle name is rarely used so it wouldn't be a huge deal. Just wondering how the rest of you feel about your own family name traditions?

For girls my mom wants us to pass down "Elaine" as the middle name. Its been going for 4 generations so far.

 

 

austenreader85

If you love the name and namesake, go for it. DH is a II and for a long time wanted a III. But DH constantly has problems with his files being mixed up with FIL. Also FIL is a total jerk and eventually even DH realized it was ridiculous to pass up names that we love just for FIL to have a dynasty named after him.

LadyXaverian

I think balance is necessary. I'm all about using family names, but I have to like them as well. 

I think it would be nice if you honored your husband's grandfather, and since it's the MN you don't really like, it wouldn't bother me as much. 

mrssunshine12

I love our family name traditions and would like to keep as many going as possible. I have a grandfather and an uncle named William, which we would like to use as a first name. My other grandfather, another uncle and my brother all have the MN Joseph, which we would also like to use. And on DH's side my FIL has his dad's name as his MN, and my husband has his fathers name as his MN, so we will likely use DH's name as a MN.

Assuming we have enough sons to cover all the names. No girl traditions in either family, but we will be using family names for middle names if we have any girls.  

salt78

My whole family is very big on name traditions. I can't think of one person who isn't named for someone in some way.

queenbone

It's nms.

However, it is my understanding that the titles shift when someone dies.  So if G-pa has passed then your DH is now Jr., and your son would be the 3rd.  He would only be the 4th if all 4 are alive.

526SadieSadie

526SadieSadie:

I would never name my child something I hated, tradition or not. 

I guess I did misunderstand you, but this is my stance in general on naming traditions.

hmr22

Honestly, I hate a child being named exactly the same name as a parent or grandparent. They are their own individual and need their own name.

alohamora

I really don't care for naming babies the exact same name (fn and mn) as another living person, especially if it's a parent.  It just seems egotistical to me. 

However, I do like giving the child a meaningful name that has family connections.  Maybe you can compromise by giving him a mn of Joseph or Harry?

rp-chicago-mom

I'm not a huge fan of namesakes. My SIL has namesakes for both of her children and for one both of the people (first and middle name)  are still alive. I don't like that kind of pressure. I would rather choose a name based on how it sounds and looks on paper and so on.

SIL's husband's family tradition is to name children a last name in the family. I really don't like that but I am vehemently against last name first names. 

But then I think we're going to use Frances as the middle name if it's a boy and that's H's middle name. But I love the name and I like St. Frances so I don't see it as a total namesake. 

megolsu3

I know what you are going through. My husband is a third- he's actually the 4th man with the same first and last name. We had this discussion so many times and went back and forth on how we can handle the pressure to honor his family and still feel like we are giving our child an individual name. It would mean so much to his grandfather if we continued the tradition- so We settled on using the first name and changing the middle name- I know it's not really popular but we are leaning towards callling our son by his middle name.

TripMomma

It is not my thing at all. I wouldn't agree unless I loved the name on its own merits. I want to name my own kids not let my dh's great great grandparents name them. 

queenbone

Baker_Bride:

I'm not a huge fan of namesakes. My SIL has namesakes for both of her children and for one both of the people (first and middle name)  are still alive. I don't like that kind of pressure. I would rather choose a name based on how it sounds and looks on paper and so on.

SIL's husband's family tradition is to name children a last name in the family. I really don't like that but I am vehemently against last name first names. 

But then I think we're going to use Frances as the middle name if it's a boy and that's H's middle name. But I love the name and I like St. Frances so I don't see it as a total namesake. 

Please, please spell it Francis if it your son! Frances is the girl's spelling.  It is St. Francis of Assisi.  (Sorry this is a touchy subject for me because DS2's fn is Francis.)

naflmj

I am typically not a fan of Jrs but once it gets to a IV or V, I feel like I can get on board more easily since it's more of a tradition. My problem with the name is, if you don't like Harry you can't have him go by his MN. Would one be Joseph and one Joe, Joey, JoJo, etc? Or you could always keep the first name and add a MN you like or use Joseph as a MN.

ETA: In our family, boys are named after their grandfather and sons have their fathers name for a middle name so My Great Grandfather is John Edward, Grandfather is Edward (Bud) John, My stepdad is John (Edward), and my cousin (first born grandson) is Edward (Eddie) Richard (his father's name). I love that it honors family but they have their own name.

We have chosen to use family middle names regardless of how much we like the name itself because we feel it's important to honor those we love.