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D.C. Area Babies
QOTD: Good ole fashioned FFFC!
Parental edition. Go!
And in case you're new to Knot/Nest/Bump acronyms - that's Flame Free Friday Confessions.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: QOTD: Good ole fashioned FFFC!
This is probably kind of cheating for a QOTD, but I am feeling very flammable right now and have some things to air out.
1. C has been a holy terror the past two weeks. I have not been this exasperated and near losing my sh!t since he was a screaming 2 week old. Also, I have learned that I have a very strong fight instinct (as opposed to flight) because it has been extremely difficult to NOT hit back when he hits me, which is often lately. No one has hit me on purpose since my brother and I fought as kids. I kind of wonder if part of the reason I lost a filling recently was from clenching my teeth so much.
2. MrsHandy reminded me of this the other day - I skip pages of books. Sometimes whole chunks. I have never read a Dr. Seuss book cover-to-cover.
3. On a related note, I dislike Dr. Seuss. Maybe it's just the titles we have at home, but I don't "get" the nonsensical gibberish. And pages upon pages of it, at that.
Today is DD #1's birthday. Since it's my telework day, it was one of the only days I could sneak in her five year dr. appointment. So the poor kid is going to the doctor on her birthday. When she asked me if she'd get shots I said "I don't think so..." The truth is I don't know. It's just so much easier to avoid the question...
Artslvr - Happy birthday to your DD!
My FFFC: I went out with the girls last night and had waaaay too many glasses of wine (it was a wine bar. Hello.) Well, I really only had 3 glasses, but now I feel like poop and I'm at work and I'm considering going home "sick" and sitting in front of the TV and watching Downton Abbey episodes.
AWW happy birthday to DD#1 artslvr
my FFFC: why am I not pg yet???:( thats it..just a pity party of one.. I have gotten pg 3 times on the first try which is very lucky I know m/c, DS, m/c but I sure am getting ansy!!
happy weekend everyone and its a great QOTD, not "cheating at all"
Another one... I got along really well with a nanny whom I met with last night. She has lots of experience, speaks English fluently and happens to be American (I don't really care about nationality at all, I am just astounded by the communication breakdown I've had with people recently who claim to speak English fluently). Anyway, she was seeming perfect for the job until she disclosed that she has a rare migraine disorder (potential sick days??) and that she is deathly allergic to peanuts. DH thinks that both are total deal breakers, considering DS eats a PB&J about half the days in a week for lunch and has a handful of nuts as a snack about 2-3 times a day (the kid looooves nuts, thank goodness he doesn't have an allergy). So that is my irrational frustration, because we've been really coming up short on the nanny front.
We offered the job to someone we're not totally on board with, but after our recent betrayal (we offered the job to someone we were thrilled with only to have her quit a week before she started) we figure we have to be on top of this and hand out offers even if we're not sold. I HATE playing that game, it feels wrong on every level.
Dear BRU:
Next time I special order something, I really do expect it to take more than 5 days to arrive. Coming up with 2k in that short of time is a lil out of my league. Hey, maybe even giving an ETA would be a great idea.
Yay for FFFC!
Happy Bday to your DD Artslvr! (and yes, I believe she'll get a shot (I think I remember that from DD#1's appt this fall), but at most it's one:)
1. I work from home and have a pretty long day to myself and yet I still often wait to the last minute to go and pick up the girls...pick up/dinner time/bedtime just exhausts me, regardless of the day and how easy/hard it is.
2. I yelled at DD#1 this morning because she had a breakdown as she was waking up about the hall light being on (she wanted it off)...it drives me bananas when she has these random breakdowns...but then I feel like a total horrible mom when I snap back. Who's the adult here?
This sounds really stressful, I'm so sorry!
Dear DD,
It's true what everyone says--the 3s are way worse than the 2s. I didn't want to believe it but the last month has shown me how true it is. When you don't get your way, the solution is NOT to scream your head off and cry irrationally for 20 minutes. I love you dearly, but I'm at the point now where I just walk away when it happens.
All I have to say is that you better get a grip before baby #2 gets here. Mama can't deal with TWO crying kids!
J has been screaming lately. Not because he's upset, just "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" in his high-pitched toddler voice, all the time. It is driving me up the WALL. And he's back to waking up at 5:30, which disrupts his whole sleep schedule. I'm praying this weekend we can get back on track.
Also, DH is working this new job and it's a really great opportunity for him, but he's been missing J's bedtime probably 2-3 times a week (or getting home just late enough to make J's bedtime later than it should be). I know I should be excited about the position, and he keeps saying that he'll get better about getting home on time, but it's really frustrating.
Also, WTF body? I guess I should be glad that I ovulated right on schedule after my m/c but it also feels kind of . . . wrong. Apparently it wasn't traumatic enough to throw me off even by a day? It just seems so weird that my body is A-OK when my brain is still not.
TTC #2: BFP 12/17/11, m/c 1/7/12 and D&C 1/12/12
baby blog/cooking blog
We only ended up applying to one preschool because the other two we looked at were kind of shabby. I am not paying upwards of $20K to see peeling paint.
Sending support to you guys TTC after a loss. I know how nerve-wracking it can be.
Yesterday was my anniversary with DH. After thinking mushy thoughts about how awesome DH and DS are all day, I decided to celebrate by losing my mind five minutes after getting home because our toddler is super-clingy right now. He's afraid if he lets me out of his sight I'm going to present him with a brother. I'm sorry, little dude. It is going to happen. I still love you. Being bombarded with being tired, hungry, and having to pee with a clingy toddler and "just tell me what to do" DH standing on the other side of the bathroom door, I had to put myself in time out.
Artslvr Happy Birthday to your DD
DS it is NOT OK to wake up multiple times a night wanting to nurse and screaming until you get to. You are a year old not a week old. I don't know what's causing the wake-up - reflux because you are congested (but I'm giving you Zantac), teething (I've tried Tylenol), or perhaps you are just upset we dropped your daytime bottles. Whatever it is, I haven't slept for more than a 2 hour block in a month and I am crazy tired. C'mon. You're negatively influencing your chance fo ever ebing a big brother.
I'm just really angry with myself that I didn't talk to DCP about going full time sooner. She had several spots open so I didn't think it was a big deal. Well, now she won't have full-time availability for the next 2-3 months.
It will almost be better if I don't get a job now. I don't want to switch daycares the moment that sprout is doing better with separation anxiety (he didn't cry today until I was actually leaving drop off...normally he starts when we pull up, so that's progress!)
I'm trying really hard not to be angry at DH, but we are going to have a come to Jesus talk tonight because I just can't take meal times anymore. Lately, Warner has been basically refusing to eat anything that I make for dinner that isn't pasta or bread. He'll sit there and say "but I really don't like that chicken!" all whiny and annoying, when he hasn't even tried it yet. Is it frustrating? Hells, yes! I hate it, and I don't like the idea of him going to bed hungry either, but he's two and I'm not going to get into a battle of wills with him.
DH however, thinks he can "win" and make him eat. He put Warner in time out at least 6 times during dinner because he wouldn't try the food and behavior issues due to the fact that DH was trying to make him eat (spitting out a spoonful of rice, flinging chicken off his fork...crying the whole time). I was exhausted from a long day with Warner, had lots of work to do and to avoid getting into a fight with DH in front of Warner, I just went upstairs. I didn't feel like getting into it last night after Warner went to bed, but I did tell DH that I was furious with the way he handled that and that I never want something like that to happen again and that we're going to need to talk about it tonight.
I mean, wtf, DH? You cannot force feed a toddler!!! We put the food in front of him and if he doesn't eat, he goes to bed hungry. We don't need all this godd@mn drama! This from my DH who is usually the definition of rational behavior.
We're pretty lucky that this is really the first parenting issue that we've had where we have not been in lock step with each other, but man, I was frustrated last night.
Also, did I mention that I have a ton of work? Yet here I am procrastinating! We're trying out the backup daycare that DH's work offers because my regular back up person (the lovely in-home lady near us) is really sick this week. I have all kinds of mommy guilt about sending him to a new place today, but I just have to get things done today.
So I should go...thanks for letting me b*tch. Good call, MPD!
I don't know if these are really FFFCs, but I am frustrated and need to vent.
I'm flipping sick of DD's "mommy's turn" phase, in large part because she screams bloody murder if DH comes near her half the time. I'm sure he's not molesting her or hitting her or doing anything to deserve it, but doing everything for her myself while trying to calm her down from defcon 5 or whatever screaming and convince her daddy is no where near her is EXHAUSTING. I have no clue how to convince her daddy is good to have around - we've given time outs, I've tried telling her she's making daddy sad. If anyone has a suggestion, please share.
Our top choice preschool wants us to have T potty trained by April 1 (so that she has a few months under her belt before starting there in late June - assuming she gets in) and out of her crib before starting preschool (for no particular reason as far as I can tell other than to have her be more independent). I'm kind of like WTF?? Especially about the crib. I don't see what that has to do with preschool, and she sleeps just fine in her crib (while still napping just fine in her twin bed, so that wouldn't interfere with school naptime). With potty training...I was going to wait a few months, but I'm kind of annoyed about the pressure to DO IT NOW from a school that hasn't even accepted her yet.
2. M's class at school goes out on the playground from 4:30-5:30 every afternoon. I could get to school to pick him up as early as 4:30, but he loves going out on the playground, and I love stopping home before picking him up, so I can change my clothes, take the dog out, and sometimes start dinner prep. So I usually stop home and don't pick him until around 5. I justify it because he gets more time to play outside.
I'm so curious what I said that reminded you of this!
I too am hungover today after a few cocktails last night at a neighborhood party that turned out to be just me, the hostess, and a friend of hers. It was fun, but a little awkward when she started talking about how her first DS was the reason her and her H got married. I was seriously irritated when colleagues of mine approached me within a few minutes of sitting down at my desk to fix some silly issues. Then stood right behind me as I fixed it.
My baby related confession is I seriously wish I could be pregnant right now. I keep trying to convince myself I'm pregnant, even though I still haven't had a PP period since I'm BF DS. (it's been over two years!) I'm so jealous of all the moms who have kids DS age who are pregnant or have #2 already. But I have to keep reminding myself that we can't save for a DP and have two kids in DC. Also, I want to run the Marine Corp Marathon in October. I'm seriously counting the days until the Marathon and we can start TTC #2. I can't wait!
Good luck to everyone TTC after a loss! I'm cheering for you guys !
Off to the beach
DS 7/18/2010
Handy 2.0 Due Early August
2011/2012 Races
12/17/2011 Christmas Caper 10K
2/11/2012 Have a Heart 5K
3/17/2012 DC RNR Half Marathon
4/22/2012 10M Parkway Classic
10/28/2012 Marine Corps Marathon
Ohhh, maybe it wasn't you! Someone mentioned skipping pages while reading a book to DS.
1. I think a good portion of LO's feeding issues are because DH is too impatient with him at mealtimes and thinks LO should be more advanced than he should be for being 12 months old. And I am pissed off at DH right now because I'm also sick and he went out for drinks with a friend last night which meant I had to do dinner and bedtime all by myself.
2. The only reason I didn't drop LO off at daycare today (he's been down for the count with a cold) is because 2 of the other moms are bumpies and I didn't want them to judge :-)
3. I am going to pack my sick baby into the car, go to Giant and then get myself a large extra value meal from McDonalds.
4. Back to the feeding issues... it is really stressful and frustrating to be monitoring every single freaking bite. And he will not drink anything at home. Nothing. We have multiple different bottles, sippies and straw cups. We use the same ones he uses at day care and he won't drink at home. He just throws them. No matter what is in them - water, juice, smoothies, WCM, pediasure, breastmilk. So he's been home yesterday and today and he's lost weight because even though he'll nurse, he isn't getting as much as from drinking the pediasure at daycare.
I am contemplating using a medicine syringe and squirting it down his throat.
5. I just submitted a self-referral to early intervention so they can evaluate for motor delays or sensory issues and we can get treatment if it's necessary.
Here is another one from me related to story time. I want to skip pages and attempt to skip pages but I get reprimanded by DD and have to start over because we have read the same stories over and over and over again that she knows when I try to cheat.
artslvr, happy b-day to your DD!! I do believe there is a shot at 5 due to starting public school at that age.
claraj - was that an announcement?? if so, congrats!!
I survived 3 days/nights of single-parenting a toddler, a pre-schooler and 2 aging, needy dogs. I did not turn on the TV once while DH was gone b/c I had work to do after the kids were in bed, cleaning up after dinner, getting everything ready for the next day. The 1st thing DH says to me when I come downstairs (he got home after the kids were in bed) was "what was that mess on the floor" - well excuse me, but DS threw his food and I did not have time to clean it up and NO, it has not been there for days, but only 2 hours, WTF??
I have a girls' night out tonight, another on Sat and a happy hour on Thur and I cannot wait!! One my NY resolutions was to have more "me" time
oh, and when he called to tell me he was driving home (from NC) I told him I was on the table waiting for my OBGYN to show up for my annual. He did not even ask how my appt went (I have a hernia thanks to pregnancies and need an U/S to rule out polyps due to weird brown spotting).
My DS is in the screaming when he doesn't get what he wants phase too and I am so.over.it.
DH likes to play with way too many of DS's toys. REALLY, dh, is it worth the screaming fit to get to play with the guitar? The kid shares all day at school and will have to share with a little sister soon too. Give him a break.
I am also really excited that DS loves DCP and learns a ton, because I am totally still sending him when DD is born. A few people are trying to make me feel guilty about this but um, 1. I still have to pay either way and 2. Seriously, the kids life is going to change a ton, routine is a good thing, right?
send him!!!
yep, I can't get away with skipping a single word. when he picks McElligot's Pool, we're reading about every damn fish in the book...oh and he likes to count how many fish are on each page so it takes soooooo long. I actually like Dr. Suess books, but they are just too long when I'm tired at the end of the day!
Also, last night DH was reading to him and got a couple of the words wrong and Warner asked him "do you know how to read?" lol...
omg, I would TOTALLY still be sending Warner once the baby came if I had daycare. I'd give you crap if you didn't, lol :-) whoever is trying to make you feel guilty about it needs to zip it!
I sent DD 2 or 3 days a week when DS came. I was still paying, I wanted some time with just DS. No judging, do it. It's important for them to amintain their relationships and schedule.
THIS. Let NO ONE make you feel guilty about it. It's better for you and better for him. End of story.
1. I haven't had my period since before November. Even after finishing 10 days of awful (supposedly) period-inducing medicine more than a week ago. I reeeeally would like to have a LO#2 soon. I feel like I'm getting old, and the space between DD and a potential #2 is getting too big. And, this is kind of lessening my argument for having an eventual #3.
2. I got some free Leapfrog TAG books off a Mom listserve. I love them. The pen reads to DD for me.
3. I'm sick of playing with playdough. DD has been playing with it for a week straight, more than an hour a day.
1. I am nearing the end of pumping and it can't come soon enough...for some reason these last couple weeks seem like an eternity. DS has tried WCM and definitely doesn't hate it but doesn't love it either, but come February 17 I am not pumping anymore and he'll just have to be ok with the flavor of WCM as it is. I feel kind of guilty about not easing him into it more, but I'm just SO done with pumping.
2. I really want to have a reason to go on a business trip. I am craving some time alone to sleep undisturbed by DH or DS, to not have to wash bottles/cups, not have to pack lunches, bags, and all that day-to-day grind stuff, and to be able to have a couple drinks and stay out late if I felt like it. I would love to not have to answer to anyone about anything for even just a day or so.
3. I'm annoyed that everything that is supposed to be for us, or about us, that involves any family always ends up coming back to me having to do something. Like my mom needs me to send her CDs of pictures for scrapbooking (she can't just download them?), my stepmom needs the name of local hotels so she can stay for DS's birthday (hello, she's a business-owner and travels monthly, surely she's heard of hotels.com?), parents/grandparents want to give money as b-day gifts so I have to set up an account (are savings bonds really that bad?!). and then I feel petty and selfish, because really these are all things for DS or for us and we should be thankful to have so much family that loves us.
that felt good
I don't post here often but this topic is a good one.
DD and DS are at my dad's ALL weekend!! I am so excited to have to time to chill out. DH has class Monday-Thursday from 6-8:30 so he is home around 9pm. I am there every night with them by myself. I cook, do bath, play, sit with a teething baby, etc. He asked me if I want to go the movie tomorrow and feels we should go to support the Red Tails film. NO!! Not that I don't want to support the movie but all I want to do is be by myself tomorrow. I want to sleep, go shopping with my birthday money, and treat myself to a drink. I'm doing the family dinner thing tomorrow with his family and feel that is sufficient.
As you all saw, and contributed (thank you) to my post earlier this week, it has been an absolute shittastic week for me. It hasn't improved much, and because of that, I have a few confessions of my own.
1. This medication switch totally sucks, and I'm doing it basically by myself. My OB prescribed the meds (which I had taken ((with successful results of calming my anxiety and significantly reducing my depression)) for about 5 years prior to having C, and the only reason I switched was for nursing purposes) after I asked him to. The meds I was on while nursing C made me feel like an emotionless robot. Now that those meds are leaving my body, and the new meds are still settling in, I am an emotional wreck. It's like the pendulum swung from the side of zero emotions, to now a deluge, making me feel like a live wire. I really really really hope that this settles down soon and puts my emotions at a happy medium like before I had C.
1.5 I don't have a psychiatrist because I have tried multiple doctors in my network in the area, and they have all sucked. And I seriously don't have time (leave time) to psychiatrist shop these days. My OB prescribes the stuff, so I will take it.
2. Last night, in an emotional fit, I said to DH in all honesty in that moment, "I don't like being a mom. I have buyer's remorse on C. He's great and all, but I don't think this whole parenting thing is for me." And then I felt like the biggest a$$hole on the planet and extreme guilt set in which made me break down some more. I'm a peach these days.
3. I'm terrified that this medication that I'm switching back to won't be strong enough for me anymore. My grandmother had severe PPD (so extreme that my grandfather authorized a lobotomy for her because she was basically a vegetable she was so depressed) and I am so afraid that I inherited this gene from her.
4. I told DH last night "I'm sorry you lost in the wife and mother-of-your-child lottery."
Preisless, I'm so sorry you're struggling. I struggled so much for so long after the babies were born and had many days of feeling "buyers' remorse." I hope you're able to get help soon.
My FFFC's:
1. Last night, I discovered that Matt Dillon doesn't play Jake in Sixteen Candles. DH and I were watching it (I've probably seen it at least 10 times before), and I was like, "wow, Matt Dillon sure was cute." And DH was like, "yeah, that's not Matt Dillon." I had to look it up on IMDB immediately and my mind was blown. I feel like my world has turned upside down with this knowledge.
2. I really hope at next week's hearing test we get some answers about DS' lack of words. He failed the first test and we go back for more testing. After that, we do the full EI evaluation, which will hopefully give us more answers and hopefully lead to some simple solutions. I'm really trying not to worry about this, but it's hard not to.
I'm so sorry things are so topsy-turvy for you now
at least you know what's going on and hopefully it will be back to a more pre-C state soon.
FWIW - I've told DH a few times now that I feel like I'm doing a poor job at everything (work, wife, friend, daughter), compared to before DS. From what I can tell though, no one has felt that I'm doing a poor job - I just feel like I'm not the all-accomplishing "me" I was. In reality I'm the only one that's putting that pressure on myself and I really need to change my own expectations. a lot.
1. I have a new job that I'm really excited for, except that it requires I arrive at work at 6:00 am for a week on a rotating basis, which will probably be every 5 weeks or so. I am finishing the first week of this, and it sucks. I'm questioning this whole thing.
2. I am terrible at entertaining DD for extended periods of time, especially wearing her out to the extent that I should (and that DH can do). I just don't have a ton of energy myself, so it's hard to run around with her. That said, DH is out of town this weekend, and I'm dreading it because I don't know how to help DD burn off her energy all weekend. I'm trying to plan playdates.
3. I hate DH's job with a passion. Not what he does, I don't actually care about that. But he travels a lot and I take on a lot of burden at home. I want him to find a new job that lets him stay here. His boss had the nerve to ask him "How much travel can we get out of you before your wife divorces you?" How f*'d up is that?
I have every intention of sending DD to daycare while I'm on maternity leave. Not only do I want to maintain her routine as much as possible, I feel like I had a solid four months with her when she was born, and I want the same for #2. I have zero guilt about this.
Preissless - at some point when LO was about 2 or 3 months old, I told DH he could divorce me since I was such a terrible wife and mother. I think I also told him I wouldn't argue custody.
I really hope your meds balance out soon. Have you talked to Dr. S? She was an amazing resource for me at the practice, and I am so grateful to her for her understanding.
And I have seen your son and you with your son - you are an awesome, loving mom. This is a bad patch and you'll get through it.