Intro and Questions...

DanielleJoe09

Hey ladies I just wanted to introduce myself . Ive been lurking for a bit now and I think its time to share my story. I'm 27 and my DH is 33. I have PCOS and I still struggle with alot of the symptoms. Ive been on Metformin/Glucophage for years and it sucks. I would love to do IVF but thats not really in our budget right now.  We decided that we were going to adopt after years of not being able to concieve. We are pursuing infant adoption and so far have had no matches. We've been officially active a year.....And then today comes along....

 I got a call from a friend today that I used to go to school with. She has a friend that wants to give her baby up for adoption. She is currently about 5 months along and due in May, she is having a little boy.  There are a few big problems that Im nervous about. I guess the main thing is that the girl is homeless. She has been living on the streets for a few months. As far as I know she is drug free. I called my agency to see what the next step would be. Have any of you been through a situation like this?   Im scared things arent going to go the right way.....I was super excited this afternoon and now its turned to straight fear.

Im hoping to talk to you guys since you are all going through this tough process

 Thanks

silliestbunny

Welcome!  

That's exciting that things are coming together for you.  Hopefully the agency can help get the young woman into a better living situation.

You should find lots of support here

PS-  I tend not to be hypersensitive about much... but the term "give away" grates on my nerves and many others in the adoption world.  It's such a negative term for our children to live with and have in their history.  I much prefer the idea that birth moms/expectant moms make an adoption plan.  (Hope that wasn't offensive... it's just one of those things that I am committed to for my daughters.)

DanielleJoe09

No not offensive at all....Thank you for bringing that to my attention.Im sure I could have worded that better.  I was just trying to get it all typed out without sounding too confusing.

 

 

cinemabella

Well that's a cool possibility!

A few things to consider... I would have her do a drug test before anything depending on how you feel about drug exposure.

Also, you need to make sure that because you brought the BM in, they do NOT charge the same amount as if they brought her in for the match.

This could be a very good situation for you.  

Good luck!

  

julandjo

Just curious... but if she's truly living on the streets, is she getting prenatal care?  How does she know the gender?  (I've read stories that at clinics where this "kind" of care is given, they will not reveal the gender.  Maybe that's an urban legend?)

angandvance

Wow! That's a lot to handle, huh? I would advise you to do what these ladies have recommended. Definitely get a drug test. I'm not saying it should be a deal breaker if it comes back positive (my hubs' second to youngest sister was a crack baby and you couldn't tell it from today...she won nationals for level 10 gymnastics last year. :-) Ha.) Anyway...you just need to get all your ducks in a row. Most agencies in my area (I don't know about Nebraska) offer BM care, so it's possible they can help her get a living situation/prenatal care/nutrition. That might be something you want to ask your agency about. 

 Other than that, good luck! I hope this works out for you!!! 

DanielleJoe09

Hey ladies....I got some more information today. As far as I know she is living on the streets. Im not sure if theyve gone to a church or where they get food. I know that she has gotten prenatal care. She told me that she has thought long and hard about adoption and this is what she wants to do.  We are supposed to meet her for lunch tomorrow and I look forward to getting to know her.

 I am supposed to call my agent on Monday and let her know how things work out. Im definitely going to ask if the fees change. Thank you PP for letting me know about that.

 

Thank you

DanielleJoe09

Cinemabell-  Did that happen to you, did you find your own BM??   Im curious about that now