Also...is it ok to be scared?

Otterama · February 2012

I don't have anyone I can talk to about this IRL, and I won't lie...I'm scared. I'm scared about the process, I'm scared of someone judging my home, I'm scared of someone judging our money, I'm scared of falling in love with a child and having them taken away....I'm just scared.

I know we're ready and I know we want this....is it normal to be a little scared?

kellz · February 2012

yes, of course it is ok. How you feel is how you feel. And this process IS invasive and "weird feeling" at times. My main feeling throughout most of our adoption journey (until DD came along) was anger over all of that. So I'd say fear is a relatively healthy emotion compared with anger! I won't say you absolutely shouldn't be afraid of any of that, they are realities, but not for everyone. Especially having the baby taken away. It DOES happen, but (I THINK) more often than not it doesn't. I won't say don't worry, but try to enjoy the ride, and know that it CAN go smoothly and beautifully : )

kellz · February 2012

ok, just saw the "foster to adopt" post, which makes this situation a LITTLE different, but mostly, my original reply still goes. GL! : )

Otterama · February 2012

fredalina:
Of course it's not okay. You're never entitled to your own opinions. Oh, wait, for a minute I thought it was opposite day .

LOL. When I first started reading that I was like "oh no!".

I was talking to a friend (who has no experience with adoption at all) and she just kept saying how excited I must be, how excited it all is, how wonderful this is...when I mentioned I was a little nervous, she told me not to be ridiculous.

Jenn is Silly · February 2012

Of course it's okay. Worrying is second nature as a parent. It won't stop after finalization, it will transfer to something else. Just don't let it over take the process. Yes some parts of it stink but every step is one step closer to your child. Enjoy your process, as much as you can, and never let anyone tell you APs don't go through labor!

ctbride08 · February 2012

Of course! no offense to your friend, but she sounds a little clueless

First of all, its so different and out of the ordinary compared to how most people build their families. So inherantly its a huge unknown that is relatively isolating - hello, scary.

Second, when you have a bio child, you at least kinda sorta know what you are in for. Fostering?! You have no idea and no control over so many things. plus, not only are you signing up for the kids, but also their bio familes. SCARY.

Then, always having someone looking over your shoulder at how you parent, dress the kids, keep your home, ect ect ect? stressful, annoying, and scary.

Of course its an exciting time as well, but trust me when I tell you that pretty much every emotion under the sun is normal and okay!